Sanity Wasn't That Great Anyway

inhale

let the nauseating effects of reality blow your mind

you're not innocent anymore

just another suicide

just one less grain of sand on the beach

nothing's possible when you're less than insignificant;

a nonentity

and

its impossible

impossible to persuade things to go your way

impossible to erase the traumas that happy memories cannot outweigh

happy memories have been few and hard to come by

and each time one passes

you frantically grasp at the air

in a desperate attempt to hold on to even the tiniest particle that probably never was

and yet

no matter how hard you try to preserve it

everything good and joyful is gone;

lost.

again.

and all you're left with are the unhappy ones; the bad memories

the murderers and the drunkards of our minds

and well,

paranoia isn't so bad, I suppose

I suppose falling isn't so bad

not when it's a regular occurrence

I fall so often; my muscles refuse to stand

they refuse to listen to a worthless nonentity; muscular mutiny

and people trample me

they crush these hands

these arms

and this scrawny sapling that I devote my everything to

its name is hope

and now it's decaying in its compost pile; neglected

and I'm just another grain of sand on the beach

and now

exhale

sanity wasn't that great anyway.