I am old and as I look at my life, I find myself cursing him more and more. He asked for everything. I gave him everything, and now he has condemned me to a final death. I have friends, and my work, and I have had my money. Fame was given to me, and I thought at one time this would be enough.
I didn't know then that he condemned me to a final death. It is only now that I learn the true hatred he must have for me. At first I gave up small things, like money and time. I didn't miss these, and the more time and money I spent into it, the more I could not escape.
He then asked me to get rid of my friends. Not all of them, just those I could be close to. I accepted this. I still had lots of friends. A lot of friends could make up for a few close ones, or so I believed.
My way of life changed. I became like him. I hoped that if I was like him I could change things. I worked and worked, and made myself successful. Then I had money and my life in order, and I believed that things where ready for him.
He gave me more goals, and as I completed each I found myself in a cage. I don't know if he ever ment to cage me, but he did. So now he has condemned me to death. For there is no way back. He stopped all my hopes long ago.
See I feel in love with him. Now I will die alone. I wanted no one but him, he knew this. A silence surrounds me now, when as a young girl I had dreamed of children playing. I imagined holidays with my family, not extra hours of work.
I gave up anyone would could have taken his place at my side, but my heart said there was only room for him. Final death is upon me as I know I will die alone.
With luck some of the work I have done will pass on to others, but there will be no one from my line. He must have hated me all along. I guess it was his goal to see that my line died out with me. He is an evil creature to let me suffer. To late to go back, and put things right. No one is there for my funeral that remembers who I was. Except him, and he isn't telling anyone. And I still love him...
She means everything to me. She is all I could never be. Her freedom is what I loved in her, but to place her at myside would have ment a lost to me of her free soul.
The more I watched her, the more like me she became. I knew she loved me, but even that bond of love had to be broken for her to be truely free. I used that love she had for me to keep her away from others who hoped to bind her soul, but I could not release her as the time has gone on.
She has condemned me to letting myself go. She has caused my heart to beat within my chest, and she has shown me the freedom to love. I still do not have the friends she would have, but I have her. As she is the closest thing to my soul.
Now in my old age, I see her. She has freed me on the inside to be what I always wanted to be. She has also condemned me. To late in life have I seen the world I missed when I was young. She distracted me with her beauty and love, something so unknown to me. Now I am condemned to die alone, with no one to tell of my freedom. No one to share in the beauty I see.
I am allowed to be a child, and I am happy. I am old. My work is behind me. The work is nothing with out a soul behind it. I loved her to little, to late. I would give her anything and everything. She must truelly hate me now.
Everything once given, And Everything to gain,
Place your trust in me, and I will do the same...