One Night in Zore - Akuwin

Demons aren't supposed to fall in love.

Hell, we aren't supposed to be able to love at all. We're incapable of it. Demons aren't the emotionless, heartless creatures most people see us as. We do have emotions. They just tend toward the negative aspect of the spectrum.

If someone with only the vaguest idea of what emotions are chose the worst ones, the ones full of hate and anger, and haphazardly dumped them into instinct-driven, predatorial creatures whose only purpose is to harm, they would create a Demon. We're not supposed to love. It's not in our nature.

Then… what happened to us?

You're asleep now. Your head is nestled between my neck and my shoulder, your arm encircles my chest, your leg is over mine; you're snuggled in as deep as you can get. I doubt you even realise it, even know what it is that makes you do that. Milan … do you even know what you are feeling? Do you know what it is called?

I've tried not to put a name to it. I'm afraid if I do, the spell will break, and what we have now will evaporate. I can call you partner, even mate, but never lover. But I know even if I won't dare admit it, that that's what you are. That's how I feel.

I love you, Milan. And even if you don't realise it, you love me, too.

But, Lucifer, how did this happen? How could this happen? How is that I, a Demon, a parasite, an abomination of life and death, an affront to all that is pure and just in the world, how could I do something as unnaturally natural as falling in love? And you, Milan, the most impassive Demon I know, how is it that you love me back?

I suppose it's more or less a good thing you are another Demon, though, and not a Faerie. That could go very wrong very fast. With you and I, at least, it is not a forbidden love.

No one thought it was likely enough to happen to make it necessary to forbid.

You shift in your sleep, cuddling even closer. Your face contorts in pain, and you cry out softly. Another nightmare. You have them all the time, I see it, but the next morning, you don't remember anything.

You shudder again, shifting restlessly, and give a small moan. I gently run my hand up your spine to comfort you. It does seem to work; your head falls onto my chest and you lie still. I'm content just to lie here like this now, with you pressed against me as close as you can get. It's a comfort to me as well.

Sometimes, Milan, I wonder if I made the right decision. If revealing my true feelings for you, for starting this relationship was the right thing to do. I know between Faeries there is a bond when they love each other, the mate bond; and I wonder if we as Demons have that bond. I doubt it. Why should we?

And yet… and yet you're here, in my bed, with your arms around me, and all I know right now is that I love you, and that's the one thing I could never say to you. Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I find myself doubting that you love me back. How could you? In all the time we've been partners, you have never once smiled at me. I've seen you kill others, other Demons, without so much as a blink. You are cruel, Milan, cunning, but utterly impassive. How could it ever be possible that you could love?

It's nights like these that I have my answer. Yes, of course you do. It doesn't matter why or how, but it is the truth, and that's all that matters in the end. I see this most at night, when you shed your mask, and reveal yourself to be a much gentler and more loving man than anyone could guess. Night is freeing, revealing, yet so protective. It's the only time I feel safe showing my feelings for you, when you can allow yourself to show your own.

But even at night, I can't tell you the truth. I can't say it aloud. I guess I'm afraid, but of what, I don't know. All I can do is hold you close, kiss you, show you how I feel without putting it in words, and hope you understand.

You're stirring. I trace the line of your spine again, thinking it's just another nightmare. So I'm not prepared when you suddenly speak. "Akuwin…"

I jump a bit, and quickly regain control of myself. "Milan," I say in a low voice. My hands have stopped moving, but I don't want to let go of you. Not yet.

You seem to have the same idea, and contrary to pulling away like you normally do, you actually snuggle in deeper. Your eyes are still closed, I notice. "Akuwin," you say again. "Are you awake?"

If this were any other time, I'd probably give you a sarcastic retort accompanied by my customary manic grin. But this isn't any other time – I'm tired, and you're in my arms, and all my maniacal sarcasm has left me. So I just respond with a quiet, "Yes."

"Good," you whisper in my ear, and before I can ask what you mean by that, your lips are on mine. I know if I asked you what love was, you would not be able to tell me. But I also know that you could show me perfectly – like you're doing now.

Demons aren't supposed to fall in love. But if we do... it's a wonderful thing.

As long as no one finds out.