ihave nothing better to do so im going to write what im thinkingn in this email to u

this might not even get sent u see cuz this is just to be doing something while this very narrow minded girl talks to me about her so called fabulous weekend

which wasnt very fabulous

nothing out of the ordinary just going to games being with people

there are very few people yourself being one

that can understand this need to break from the ordinary

now shes asking me what i did on my weekend

which i knew she was going to do because thats the kind of person she is

im going to tell her that nothing happened because i dont really feel like spilling out my soul to anyone now

and because nothing really did happen i think i say this because my imagination is too real and i think of to many awesome amazing things which i could do at the moment but will probably never do because i am a loser

i never break out and do anything out of the ordinary

i have a disease

i need to seize the day more

tthis is why i am declaring the first three days of every month carpe dios

in thesse three days i will at least get something done as to get myself into the mood where i seize the day more

i like being my myself though

now shes asking me who i "like"

i god its pathetic the way people are lead on like sheep

doing their little thing

stuck in their own boring universe "liking" "likeliking"

god its enough to make someone go mad

soon enough 99 of girls will ask u who u like

the more stupid they are the sooner they will ask

god

this girl actually took a little while wow

im not anti romantic or anything

i am i swear hopelessly so

but god these dense people

gonna keep on leading boring little lives

until they die

does the soul experience aannhilation after death

is there heaven

is there nothing

is it just stopped at that moment and experince love and goodness forever

do our molecules float away and become parts of everything

like flowers and willows and beautiful things and we experience all the goodness of nature and the goodness of the earth which it is naturally blessed with

reincarnation perhaps

ghostdom

hmmm it make me wonder

if there was only a group of people who were like me and we could DO something useful

it makes me mad

it makes me think that i should live for the moment insteadof the life which i think would be wrong

do u belive in destiny

do u belive in freedom

destiny would be like us in the middle of a play that would eventually come to a climax

now i read her away message

something about living like theres no tomorrow

which she probably doesnt

if there was no tomorrow i wouldnt go about my normal routine

there would be a lot a confessions

a lot of sorrow

a lot of trying to convince myself of things

that i should live for a greater cause than seeing another day or continuing the species

i want to be free