205A/N I just want to point out that the main character's name is ELISE not Elsie. Some people have been calling her that in reviews… it's okay I can forgive you because I love you. And it's Xmas Eve today! Merry Christmas!
Chapter Fourteen: Oh, That's Why I Never Go to Dances
I had nothing to wear. Again. It didn't help that Jenna was sitting on my bed forcing Ken and Barbie to kiss behind me. She was talking to herself too. I never knew how strange she was before.
"Don't you have any friends to play Barbies with Jenn?" I asked her as I rifled through my nearly empty closet. All my clothes were dirty as usual and I didn't have time to wash them. Jesse was going to pick me up in twenty minutes.
"No," Jenna said. I glanced back at her. She didn't seem sad. She just seemed accepting. I realized she was a seven-year-old version of me. I used to play alone and I never cared. I liked to pretend I didn't care in high school either but I did. Just a little bit though.
"Don't worry, it won't like be like this forever," I told her and ruffled her hair as I walked by. She didn't seem to hear me.
It took me awhile to put together an outfit since I had to spend the majority of my time examining it for stains. But I managed to find something and don't worry I'm not going to describe it to you. I think I've covered how uninteresting my clothing choices are.
I picked up the cordless phone next to my bed and dialed Carolyn's number. Dances were her favourite pastime. Actually anything that was even remotely cheesy was her specialty. She was so into school spirit that she forced me to make banners for every pep rally in grade nine and ten. It wasn't until this year that I told her to back up, take a deep breath and do it herself. I hadn't been to a single pep rally in my whole junior year and that was how I wanted it to stay.
"Hey Carolyn," I said when she answered.
"Hi," she said. She sounded positively miserable. What a drama queen.
"You feel like going to a dance tonight?" I asked her.
"At school?" she asked her voice perking up a little bit. I figured she knew about it but wasn't going because she didn't have a date. She didn't go places without a date. She didn't go to the bathroom without a date.
"Uh huh," I told her.
"No, I don't have a date," she said, voice falling again.
"So what? There will be guys there without dates, just come," I said. This sounded like a conversation I might have had with her before when she wanted to go and I didn't.
I somehow convinced her to come and told her we would be there to pick her up in ten minutes. I hung up before she could change her mind.
"Mom, I'm going to the dance," I said when I went upstairs. She was watching yet another game show with Brandy. I had to tell her Jenna and I were going to Charlene's baby shower on Sunday because I couldn't just kidnap her seven year old for a couple hours. She was depressed again. Her sulking was starting to get on my nerves.
"With Carolyn and Marcey?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah," I told her. Well, she was half right. I just didn't want to deal with the Mom-I-have-a-boyfriend talk just yet.
Jesse was waiting in the driveway when I left the house. He didn't even get out to open the door for me. But I found out why when I opened the passenger door and almost sat in Spencer's lap.
"Oh hi Spencer," I said standing up. I leaned into the car and looked at Jesse. He gave me an apologetic smile and shrugged. I got in the backseat and casually mentioned that we had to swing by Carolyn's to pick her up. Jesse nodded and followed my directions to her house.
Naturally I had to get out and drag her away from her closet. Unlike me, her wardrobe decisions had to be carefully thought out and coordinated with everyone else. She probably had a panic attack when she hung up and realized she didn't know what I was wearing and what colour the streamers in the gym were going to be.
"Wow, car. And my shirt matches!" she said when she saw Jesse's car idling in the driveway. I rolled my eyes but was glad something matched her outfit. I might have had to slip her a sleeping pill and carry her into the gym if her shoes clashed with the car.
"You remember Carolyn right guys?" I reintroduced everyone. Spencer just grunted from the front seat. Well, what did you really expect?
The gym was dark and full of people crowded into their own little groups. Terrible music pounded itself into my ears as we wandered through the groups of people. I was having trouble remembering why I had agreed to come to this.
Some people were dancing near the DJ on the stage but it looked more like the playground as recess in elementary school than a high school dance. We all sat down on the bleachers. This was usually where I sat to watch Marcey and Carolyn dance with whoever their dates were. Speaking of Marcey, I spotted her dancing with Patrick near the stage. I pointed her out to Carolyn.
"Should we go say hi?" she asked.
"No," was all I said.
"Do you want to dance?" I asked Jesse. I didn't expect him to say yes. He didn't. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek instead. I could accept that. For now.
Carolyn and Spencer were sitting together a few feet away from Jesse and I. I could just imagine what that conversation was like. If there was one.
Jesse told me he was going to get some drinks and he left me sitting there alone. I was used to it. I zoned out staring at the people dancing to… I don't even know what that music was. All I knew was that is was giving me a headache.
I wasn't even thinking about Jared until his face appeared right in front of me. I jumped back a little bit in surprise. He came out of nowhere, give me a break here. He leaned in and kissed me quickly on the lips. He tasted like vodka. I sat there at a total loss for words. What was going on here? He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I scooted away from him and shrugged his arm off my shoulders. Carolyn was looking at me like I had just shown up at her door with pink hair and a nose ring.
"Where's your date?" I asked bitterly. I hated to admit it but I was angry about that way he had treated me and now he was pretending like it never happened.
"I know you want to dance with me," he said grabbing my hand and ignoring my question. He practically yanked me off the bleachers and dragged me to the dance floor. I guess I could have gotten away if I really wanted to but I wanted to talk to him and maybe this was the best way to do it.
Just my luck it was some sappy slow song, which gave Jared the perfect excuse to hold me right against him. A little too close if you ask me. But his arms were like a vice; I wasn't going to get away without a struggle. He sighed into my hair and I was pretty sure he smelled it too. He was running his hands up and down my back and it wasn't long before I decided that it wasn't working for me. Jesse was not going to be happy if he saw me dancing with Jared and I knew I didn't want him to think I was enjoying myself.
"Jared, please," I said pushing him away.
"What? What's wrong?" he asked putting his hands on my hips and pulling me back into him. I pushed him away again. I didn't care if he was drunk or high or whatever, I wasn't going to pretend like he didn't treat me like shit just a few hours before.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked him.
"Nothing. I just… like you, I want to dance with you," he told me. I turned around and walked away, leaving him standing there on the dance floor. Jesse was sitting with Carolyn and Spencer looking bored. It was his idea to come in the first place and I still didn't know why.
"We should leave," I told him.
"Where were you?" he asked.
I didn't answer him; I just started walking towards the door. I was being dramatic and it made me sick to my stomach.
Jared appeared in front of me again. "I'm sorry Elise. I just wanted to dance," he said to me. He looked kind of sad but in a muted sort of way. The alcohol was a veil between what he felt and what he did.
"You're drunk," I informed him.
"Get lost Ackley," Jesse piped up. I knew this was not going to turn out well if I let if continue so I put my hand on Jesse's shoulder, attempting to hold him back from Jared.
"Jared, do you have someone to drive you home?" I asked quietly.
"I don't need a ride, I have my car," he told me. He stumbled to the side for no reason and I knew I couldn't leave him there. I looked back at Jesse and he seemed to know what was coming. He sighed.
"Okay," he said to me. I let go of Jesse and stepped up to Jared. I put my arm around his waist and he draped his heavy monster of an arm over my shoulders. I led him out to Jesse's car and got him in the backseat. Carolyn and I squeezed back there with him. He rested his head on my shoulder and I just prayed he wouldn't throw up. No one said anything all the way to Spencer's house where Carolyn and I guided Jared inside. We couldn't take him home because of his parents. But that was besides the fact that no one had any idea where he lived. Spencer didn't complain and he showed me where the bathroom was which was where we left Jared sprawled out on the floor. He had passed out and that was actually a good thing.
"Why did we have to bring him back here?" Jesse asked when we were in his room. Carolyn was hovering by the door looking uncomfortable.
"I don't know where else to take him," I said.
"What is going on with you and him?" he asked me.
"Nothing! We are friends. I was just trying to help a friend," I said in my own defense.
"I don't think he wants to be just friends," Jesse pointed out. I knew he was right but what was I supposed to say? I couldn't change what Jared wanted.
I sighed. I was exhausted and I didn't want to think about Jared passed out down the hall or Jesse being mad at me or Jared wanting to be more than friends. I just wanted to go to sleep. As I lay in Jesse's bed next to him staring up at the ceiling I realized that the drama was piling up on itself trying to bury me. I actually sort of missed having nothing going on. I wanted one day that involved me going home and trading insults with Brandy and that was it.
I needed a plan to get my simple life back. I was going to forget about 'doing the right thing' according to everyone else and just do the right thing for me. Jared needed help and I was going to help him… just not in the way you think.