FOR MY FATHER

It never crossed my mind that you would leave me.

Cold room on a winter day in J anuary

and I had let the better part of a year slip away from me.

I can still hear the phone ringing in the twlight hours,

waking me from a deep sleep,

your call,

my time to come,

and to come soon.

I drove as fast as I could,

and the whole time I was thinking I may never make this trip again.

I thought of you in flashes,

in moments,

and I started to cry.

I remembered the time we drove across state in the middle of the night,

just the two of us,

and we sang to the music on the radio,

and laughed,

and I was so happy because for that one night

there was no one else in the world but you and me,

and I didn't care because I wanted it that way,

yeah, I would have liked it that way.

I never had a moment like that with you again

and I never will.

I pulled into your driveway

and I felt a little dizzy.

The house seemed to be too big against a sky too small,

so I took a deep breath and opened the door.

I thought back to the time we took a walk in the woods

one sunny sunday afternoon.

We sat on a huge rock and watched the waterfall

as you played the guitar.

I remembered how I closed my eyes and listened to you,

and how glad I was to be there with you,

and that you were in my life.

I wish I could have spent forever there with you.

If only I had known, a year later you'd be gone.

I walked into the living room and there you were,

my angel,

my hero,

my father,

struggling to breathe, trying desperately to speak,

to tell me you would be leaving me that day.

Daddy,

as you were there to watch me enter this world,

I was there to watch you leave.

As you witnessed my first breath of life,

I witnessed your last breath into death.

You held me to comfort me and welcome me and to let me know

that I was loved;

I held you to comfort you and to say goodbye and to let you know

that you were loved.

I will always love you.