I don't know how to say what I want to say. So I guess I will start off with the first thought that comes to mind... My name is of little importance, so I will get right on to what i have to say. I do now in fact believe I have found a really good friend that will be my friend for a long time. This friend is only a year older, but so much wiser than most people I know. I was just thinking about everything she has done for me. All the times I have called her scared out of my wits because I realized I might have cut too deep and did not want to die. She always came over, to stay with me or to take me to her house. All the times I freaked out and thought she was going to leave me. Pushing her away so I wouldn't get hurt again in the end. All the breakdowns and running away. Running away from my house that is. She was always there waiting for me to realize she was still there. Always making sure i ate and didn't anything too reckless. Always smiling and telling me things will get better. Always just being there and thats what has kept me from taking myself from this cruel world. Because another thing I have realized is that I love her. I don't know what kind of love I hold for her but I know I hold some and if she were to leave me I would not know what to do with myself. I can see us siting on the porch of our old farmhouse when were too old to ride, watching out grandchildren with the horses, our rockers swaying as we talked about memories from our younger years. I have never before thought such things as that, and on the occasions I did, I was always alone. With her help I have made it to sixteen almost seventeen, and I know as long as she's with me I'll make it to eighteen and even older. People always say nothing lasts for ever. I once agreed, but now I am questioning all those cynic thoughts I used to pride myself on. How do we, as mere humans, know how long anything will last? The answer is simple... we don't.

fin