I never knew you very well. I was scared of you freshman year, you were in my tech and English class. The first timeI saw you you had dyed your slightly curly hair red, but it had faded to pink. Everyone would tease you, you took it with pride, shooting snide comments right back at them. In a wayI admired you, forI would have never been able to stick up for myself like that. You were also teased because of your last name. Gay, thats what it was, you'd say your mother made a mistake and that it was gray. I knew that was a lie, fortunately those numb skulls didn't. I talked to you once in English andI was terrified. My partner for the project we were doing had us working in front of your desk. You were jiggling your foot and it made the table shake. We started talking over your pencil, it had fallen off the desk. After that we went our separate ways. I didn't see you until the next year, our sophomore year, and thats whenI really got to know you. I complimented you on your hair at lunch, and you told me to go away.I think it wasbecauseI never had interest in you before. I smiled shyly and walked away, not speaking to you again untilI saw you in class. This year we had two classes together again. We sat next to each other in history, and were paired with two other people, one wasTaryn,to do a project. We became friends after that, sort of. You, Taryn and I would always sit together in that class, talking and not doing our work. You always called me Caitlin, andI didn't mind, you all ready had a friend called Katie. History was sixth period, we also had third. That was English, we didn't really talk in that class, the teacher was really strict. We would always walk together, because for second period you had tech again, you failed last year, andI had choir. They were in the same area. After a weekI started hanging out with you and your friends at lunch. I hid behind you whenI first met them, they scared me too. I don't know if you ever really considered me a friend, butI know you cared about me. You used to tease me all the time about random things, like an older brother, but a little more gutter minded. You would never let me hurt myself, even when i begged for the razorI knew you kept in your wallet. Always you would ask whyI needed it and whenI wouldn't answer you would say no. I had a crush on you for a little while, butI never told you becauseI didn't thinkI had a chance. I'm pretty sure you knew lost contact once school was out. I just wish we could have kept in touch, because maybe, just maybe, you would still be with us. I miss you so much, I don't think you thought your death would have affected everyone so much. Except it did... I cry every time i think about you, its been almost three months. I love you you stupid boy andagain I miss you, everyone does.


(Authors Note: Jon commited suicide on October 21, 2004, He was sixteen years old. If you or someone you know is thinking or in danger ofcomitting suicide please please get help. I know its hard to think of anything else at times but it will affect everyone, even people you don't know. I also garentee if your attempt doesn't work you'll regret even trying for a long time. Thakn you and goodnight Sorrow)