hello again people who read my story! i once again have taken forever to update and i am very sorry about that...
Mya Von Dor : i love that condition! it makes the story interesting. and i am super really glad that you like my story!woo hoo!
The Cat Who Walk By Herself: i can't remember if i already told you my response to your comment so here itis again (if i did before) Senor Villianito is the funniest character i have ever written...aside from one that is coming soon...ooo are you excited? i laughed every time i thought up something new for Senor V. and to that other question...i plead the Fifth.
Islandbreeze: Peggy Sue is really funny...i am sad to say i don't think she will play much of a part in this story...but maybe...i'm not really sure right now...Kermit will appear a little bit later but not a major part...and your story was great!
birdytamel: yes maturity is overrated! i sometimes have to pretend that i am and it really stinks! the secretary is kinda immature but hey it is what it is. this update wasn't exactly asap but hey i'll try better next time.
and now on with the show!
As I resumed searching for my doomed comrade I made out Zeb sitting in a corner by himself guarding my wonderful bonsai, Scuzz chitchatting with a nice, respectable looking girl and keeping a watchful eye on the place, Señor doing what looked like romancing two girls at the same time—when I saw this I felt a strange urge to rip their hair out by the roots—and at last, standing on my favorite coffee table, with MY Les Paul guitar slung over his shoulders, flanked by some very large amps, rocking out to some strange voice in his head—I don't know this for a fact, I'm just assuming—was Angel. At the moment I saw him, he looked up and our eyes met, mine filled with cold fury and his like those of a deer about to be run over by a large automobile.
For fear of hurting my super swankin' Les Paul, I did not tackle him. However, if looks could kill, he would have been impaled by 5,000 flaming arrows of death in less than 20 seconds. I stormed over to the coffee table and began to unleash my fury upon a hapless subject.
"Why are you having a party in the station?" I began, seeing as this was the most obvious question.
"Ummm...well..." Angel seemed hesitant to speak, either because my wrath was so great he feared its aftereffects or he was hiding something. "I'm not really having a party."
"Oh." I said, not pacified a bit by this wussy answer. "Then please tell me, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STANDING ON MY FAVORITE COFFEE TABLE WITH MY VERY EXPENSIVE LES PAUL GUITAR if you are not having a party?"
At this question, his Mohawk seemed to quiver in fear. I made a mental note to have uproarious laughter over this fact. At this time however, I was already occupied with the task of berating Angel and I wasn't prepared to use the situation to its full comedic potential at this time.
"You see," he stuttered, "this isn't MY party, I'm just partaking in the enjoyment of it." When he said this, he seemed to regain his courage and boldly asked, "If you give me a kiss, I'll tell you whose party this is."
I was in no mood for fun and games. As my anger reached a boiling point, I grabbed his nearest piercing, which happened to be a nose ring, and used it to pull his face down to mine. "Now Angel, whose party is this?" I asked through gritted teeth.
With his face twisted in agony, he said, "Kaisee, now did I hear you cursing?"
I, in my fit of rage, twisted his nose ring and said, "That point is not relevant at this time. Now tell me whose party this is."
By this time people were beginning to notice Angel and I's little squabble. Billy looked very worried, but he should know by now that Angel and I fight. Zeb kept a watchful eye, but didn't move from his corner. Scuzz saw us, realized what was happening , and came over to make sure neither of us got hurt—kind of like a referee but he wasn't prejudiced to a side. And last but not least, Señor was still talking to his ladies. The other people in the crowd, some of whom I recognized from various fire or kitty related problems, were becoming disturbed and were muttering to each other about Angel and I's behavior. Through all of this, Angel was refusing to speak the name of the one who got this party started.
Finally after five minutes of twisting his nose ring, Angel relented and said weakly, "It was Señor's idea to have a party. I just helped some with the decorations and invitations."
Upon receiving this information, I released the piercing and let Angel continue playing Stairway to Heaven. I had more important things to do, like deal with the dirty rat who was in the process of getting my place trashed. I stormed across the room, stood in front of Señor, and waited for the perfect moment to begin screaming at him.
Unfortunately that moment never came, because the door to the fire station burst open and a large woman burst in.
"¡Hola! Where can I find Kaisee Queso?" were the first words out of her mouth. Some people, apparently struck dumb by her apparel, pointed mutely my way.
What had caused this abnormal reaction from such normally talkative people? Well when I got a better look at the intruder, I completely understood their reaction. This unknown woman was wearing a red pillbox hat with a small piece of netting attached. This undersized headgear was almost lost in her large poofy hair which was reminiscent of the 90's. A red silk blouse covered her large bosom and she wore a floor length black skirt also. Over these two articles of clothing she wore a ridiculously small frilly apron.
The most astounding thing about this woman was not her hair, hat, or even her apron. It was the fact that she was mammoth in size. She couldn't have been more than 5'5" but she couldn't have weighed less than 200 lbs. However the amazing thing about this woman was that she didn't look extremely overweight. You could tell she weighed more than she should but it didn't seem extremely obvious that she weighed as much as she did. I could tell because when I was younger (and still in school) I had a job as a fair carney in the summers. I worked in the booths where people paid money and you had to guess how much they weighed. I had quite a talent for it and my skill only got better over the years.
While I was going over how much she weighed in my mind, the large stranger had been approaching me. When I was again paying attention to my surroundings, she was right in front of me. I started, because I had no idea she was there and then I introduced myself. She replied,
"I am Mama Aña. I understand you now own Casa de Hediondez."
"Yes," I said then asked, "How do you know that? I just found out this morning."
"Well chica, I just came from that nasty lawyer's office. I tell you he is one bad actor!"
"Yes he is!" I added emphatically.
"Well he told me you inherited the house and the rest of it."
At this all the people in the room gasped. Apparently they all knew the magnitude of my inheritance and like usual I was the last to figure it out.
Billy came over, followed closely by the scantily clad woman and asked, "Cheese, what's going on?" with a look of bemused confusion one usually finds on the face of a small child.
"Oh, I've inherited a large sum of money, a very large estate, several cars, and a task." I said with a nonchalant air.
At this statement, the mood changed from shocked—the fact I had inherited all the stuff/amazed—same reason/confused—see first two—to just plain confused. Billy's mouth fell open and you could tell he had eaten recently because chunks of partially chewed food were attached to his mouth in various places. Angel broke the amazed silence by saying in a rather loud and sarcastic tone, "Well pin a rose on your nose!" which was immediately followed up by him saying, "I'm coming over!"
I shot back, "Uh uh, you aren't. I haven't even been there. And anyway what makes you think I'm gonna let a skankbag like you stay or even walk in my beautiful house huh?"
"Well maybe the fact that I am your favorite person in the world and I'm dead sexy. Duh!"
"Mmmmhmmm. And how much weed have you been smoking?"
"None yet, because we haven't found your secret stash at this time." he said saucily.
"Well buddy you aren't gonna find it anywhere near this fire house and anyway, what makes you think you could find it?"
"Oh, just the fact that I worked part time as a narc at the police department in Clankers and I brought my pot loving canine, Comrade, back with me. He'll find it right away."
"Yeah," I drawled, "Like you would have a pot sniffing dog. Any person with even the littlest bit of sense wouldn't let you near pot or anything that could find it."
"Did I mention that my boss was declared legally insane?" Angel added smugly.
"No but I think that probably happened after you left."
"Okay guys, let's settle down here," Scuzz interrupted, "I for one would like to know what happened that caused you to get all this stuff."
I chose to be the bigger person in our argument and turned to Scuzz, "Well, do you remember that crazy guy who threatened to blow something up every month for the two years before you guys left?"
"Yeah!" Billy exclaimed loudly. "He wore funny clothes!"
"And he smelled really bad." Angel added.
"That would be him," I said, "He continued threatening the town until very recently. His visits got more and more frequent and we became friends of sorts. Unfortunately he blew up the deli several weeks ago and seriously injured himself. A piece of equipment malfunctioned on the way to the hospital and he died."
"Dang that sucks." Angel said, as eloquent as usual.
"Yeah," I said and continued, "well he left me this huge house, a dog, five cars, a ton of money if I find his son or something like that."
"Well Kaisee I guess you are a pretty lucky person." Zeb said.
"If this is lucky I guess I am." I replied.
"Conrats Kaisee," Scuzz said and gave me a hug, "now I am expecting a full tour and all that jazz once you are moved in alright?"
"Sure," I said, "Everyone but Angel can come…oh Señor can't come either."
"What!" Señor exclaimed, "Why can't I come?"
"Umm hello, you don't even officially work here and you are already trashing my place. And don't think you aren't going to help clean up. I know you guys and you all are definitely staying to help or wait you are gonna clean it all!"
"Well for one thing, Kaisee this isn't really your place," Señor said with a smug little grin. I just wanted to smack it off his face.
"Oh," I replied hotly, "and what part of living here for three years by myself doesn't entitle me to call this my place?"
"The fact that it is owned by the Community Safety department would do that." Ohh he did NOT just go there. I hate those freakin' bastards!
"And who the hell are they to say anything about me calling this place mine? After they kicked out my best friends and made me deal with the psychotic fake Spanish bomber for three frickin' years I think they wouldn't mind me calling this place mine just so I maintain my sanity!"
"Yeah I think that has already gone."
"Ha-ha you got her now man." Angel whispered gleefully.
Angel and I were such good friends I didn't even think before punching him in the face.
the violence in this chapter in no way hurt any one and if Kaisee was a real person she just would have pulled on Angel's mohawk instead of his nose ring...i just find it immensely amusing that she did that to him.
thank you for your time.