Abortion Afterthoughts

I saw my baby's head through a monitor

It was amazing

But I was sad

Because this was the child I could've had

If it was ten years later

When I would be more responsible

But I proved that I'm irresponsible

Placing myself in this situation

Now all I do is cry

Because my baby had to die

And people just sigh

Saying they're disappointed and expected more from me

I expected more from me

Since I thrived to be the best

And recently I found myself in this avoidable mess

Though I was good at decision making

But now I've had a rude awakening

That I'm not as great as I seem

And at times I can be really mean

Causing people to suffer

Now I suffer

For the rest of my life

Because of that one moment of pleasure I gave him

I'm faced with a lost

I miss my baby

That can never be replaced at any cost

Left with just a blood sanitary pad

And as my baby stares down at me from heaven

I can only ask to be forgiven

Because I can never forgive myself