Thoughts: The womans figure and society?

I've been thinking again. I know, not the greatest of ideas, right? But I have. Earlier tonight I found myself looking down at my body and sighing, hating the way it looked. I'm 5'7" and I weigh 145 lbs. I have toned arms, large breasts, large hips, a large bottom, and a flabby waist. Not really a bad looking woman, at least as I've been told. But I still found myself looking down and hating what I saw.

Why do I hate my body so much? I find myself wondering, thinking, pondering, and even agonizing over my appearance. According to today's society, and the standards that there appear to be, I'm not even close to being the ideal. The ideal woman seems to be tall, willowy, sexy. Well, I'm of average height, definitely not willowy, and as for sexy, well that's all in the eye of the beholder isn't it? I'm sure my fiancee finds me more sexy than some random guy I see on the street. However, I'll do more to be sexy for my fiancee than I would for anyone else. Lingerie, sexy music, etc. But again, I'm no where near being the ideal woman, not by society's standards. Is this why I hate my body so much?

Thousands of years ago woman looked much like I do right now. They had to, they were the givers of life, the nurturers. They were shaped to withstand the rigors of giving birth, to produce the sustenance to nurture that life. Even a few hundred years ago my body would have been perfect. I'm not overweight, but my body is shaped to bear a child. I have the broad hips and large breasts that practically scream "mother figure" at you. And indeed, I am a mother.

Whenever I look for a picture of Gaia, of a mother goddess I always find the same thing. A woman whose body, and even face it seems are much like my own. At times its like staring into a mirror that reflects the goddess within me. They too bear evidence of being a mother, or being fit to be a mother. They too have the broad hips and larger breasts. At times it can be a wonderful feeling, to stare at those images of Goddesses and to acknowledge that my body already is perfect.

At the same time it can be unnerving. Because to look at images of what we once perceived as the perfect body and then compare it to what we see as perfect now there has been a large change. And the question begs to be asked. Why has society changed so much? Why now do so many woman feel they need to be underweight in order to attain perfection? Why do women who have a body like the Goddess get teased, or tormented, called "fat" or so many other hurtful things? Has society changed because our technology has advanced? Is it because it has become so rare for a woman to die in childbirth? Or that we no longer suffer so much?

Honestly, look at the way society was a few hundred years ago and compare it to society now and you'll see that there has been a large change. A few hundred years ago people worried about a great deal more than we do today. Even with the increases in technology we still work harder and later hours. Which is funny because we have less to worry about. Medically we have less problems, and economically we have less problems. So is this why a woman no longer needs the larger breasts, broad hips "mother" figure to appeal to a man, to be attractive in the eyes of society?

If that's the case maybe I would prefer living in the past to now. Sure, more problems to worry about but at least I wouldn't hate my body.