Here is an essay I wrote to get admitted as a counselor at a camp. I like to think it's pretty pursuasive. What do you think?

I have wanted to be a counselor for a long time. Since my first day of day camp I aspired to be like them: cheerful, silly, and fun. One was always up to playing tag or lanyard. Counselors are the ones who make camp fun. I want to do that for others.

I have gone to several camps. I've been to a French camp, a horseback-riding camp and a day camp. I went to Camp Anikijig for the first time the summer of 2003. I learned about Anokijig in a brochure from school. When it was passed to me by my teacher I payed it little mind; it was packed into my bag with everything else. When I got home that afternoon, I saw the paper and was going to throw it away, but something caught my eye. I saw the number of things this camp offered. My eyes scanned the list: kayaking, sailing, whitewater rafting, horseback riding, campfires… It was all the things my other camps had offered but here they all were, everything I loved to do in one camp!

My favorite thing about Camp Anokijig is the morning. I was always in Hickory Hillcrest, where the sun shines in through the cracks in the tent wall. I woke a few minutes before reveille sounded every morning just to enjoy the sounds of the nature, the warmth of the sun. It was a time when everything seemed good and right, relaxed. At the beginning of every summer, I am always looking forward to those mornings. I also really love the campfire. I love listening to the fun songs that we all laugh to and the sweet songs, filling the night sky.

I have two sisters. Lulu and Gracie are both 9 years old. Lulu and I play tag or have races. Gracie is artistic. She and I go on walks together in the country or build teepees out of sticks. Despite the age difference, I am very close to both of my sisters.

I like to be outside. My family has some property in West Virginia where I spend some of my summers. There I have learned from my Dad to build fires in the rain, to identify mushrooms, use a compass to find your way through forest, make a swimming hole deep, and many other things. Nature is like a second home to me.

I am active in many extra-curricular activities. I've taken piano lessons for 6 years.I was in a choir for 3 years and sang with the Madison Symphony Orchestra; but my real passion is for folk songs. I especially love hymns and traditional songs from the South-Eastern United States.

I'm an energetic, fun-loving, warm hearted, responsible person who would make a good Anokijig junior counselor.

Reviews. Persuasive or corny? Tell me what you think.