One shot super short story.

You wait quietly, trying not to look at them. They would be the guy of your dreams- and his girlfriend. You know that he will break your heart one day…but who cares? It's not like it hasn't been broken before.

Inevitably, your eyes are drawn to his face. Surprisingly, you don't really see anything special there. It isn't his face that draws you in? You don't admire a superior nose, soulful eyes, or a masculine chin? Could it be less superficial, more profound? Does that make it more real?

You never noticed anything special about him, not really. His eyes are blue, and usually somewhat bloodshot, marring them, and making his gaze somewhat unnerving. His hair is blonde and curly, nose small, and chin uninteresting. But just the same, one day he joked and smiled at you, and suddenly he seemed somehow more substantial. Then you actually began to care about him, what he did, like when he had to get surgery after dislocating his shoulder playing football. Or when he started to date a pretty girl, another girl, not you. Still though, when he looks at you, you forget about her.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. His eyes are on her right now, his sharp blue eyes, and you almost feel guilty as you look away, almost ashamed for having seem this somewhat personal interaction between them. But he should be with you, so it's okay to witness these private events. These events should be yours. And anyway, if they didn't want anyone to see, they would have gone somewhere else, wouldn't they?

Your throat constricts when you hear her laugh, the laughter that should be yours. The jealousy you feel is entirely primal, a twisting in your gut that makes you clench your hands and grit your teeth. You imagine the way you would talk to him, what you would say, but nothing really comes to mind. You've never spoken much, but every time you do it makes you feel as if there really is something there. For the rest of the day, you are effervescent, higher than the sun. The feeling is not something that you can easily replace; it's a complete powerlessness when he comes near you. All of a sudden, you cannot really speak or act as you usually do, and when you say something intelligent or funny relief overcomes your mind until he says something else you have to respond to. The pressure of having to entertain him almost destroys you, sometimes there are marks in your legs from your fingernails digging in to your skin. The adrenaline stays with you after, and the thrill of just being near him leaves your shaking stomach craving more. How could anyone be themselves around him?

He looks away from his girlfriend, at you; you can hear the warning in your brain, echoing around the space that is now completely empty. You suddenly feel exposed under his gaze, and wish you hadn't stayed to see him. But that's his power over you: you would do anything for a chance to be with him. Even if it means staying and watching him with her. No one else can understand the depth of your devotion, you know this and that's why you don't tell anyone. But you also don't tell anyone because you know that they don't think you'd stand a chance. Not against her. When he finally looks away from you (was he really looking or was his gaze just wandering from her sublime face?) you feel better. When he looks at you, you don't feel free to watch him. You don't want to get caught looking…you don't want to let him know he means more to you than you mean to him. You try to stay cool, and calm, breathing evenly and looking away, but really you would do anything to get a little more of his attention. Other people you don't care about. Not even her. You know she doesn't suspect that you might love him, because that would be too surreal. You know she doesn't suspect that he might like you back. What she doesn't know won't kill her.

You wait silently, waiting for him. Because when she leaves then you two have time to be alone, don't you? Time for things other than quick glances and stilted conversations. You know he only does it because he can, because you are there always. But he also does it because no one would ever guess it was you.