She calls me tonight out of the blue;
I haven't talked to her in weeks.
When she asks what I'm doing I reply,
'Poetry.' Write me a poem, she says.
So I do, not knowing where to begin.
I fell for you hard when we first met.
Dating my ex that I wasn't quite over
Yet, you were somewhat of an enigma
To me. Drama ensued, you were on
The market, and it was then my turn.
Taming you was like something
Out of a bad 80's rock movie.
Drugs, alcohol, and parties all followed
You in that smoky blue haze I became
All too familiar with in your arms.
I close my eyes now and I can
See you sitting there on the edge
Of your bare mattress, legs crossed,
Juggling both a joint & a cigarette
Expertly in one hand, a master. The ashes
Of one fall perfectly into the ashtray,
While you bring the other to your glossy
Lips, inhaling slowly, deeply. This image
Alone causes bells to clang inside my
Skull still. I should have known then. Flash-
Back to that night when you fell asleep
In my arms. The moon peaked through
The broken window blinks, one perfect
Beam thrown across your sleeping face.
You looked like an angel then to me,
And I had forgotten about you baring
Your breasts to strangers just hours
Before. Cuddling tight against you, I fell
Asleep myself. At sometime during
The night you left me, alone and cold,
For your sister's bed in the other room.
Because I was afraid of you, you told me
That morning. I have yet to discern why.
Four months we were together and never
More than frantic kisses, hesitant gropings,
Well-hidden hickeys passed between us.
I know I loved you. Long after the endless
Nights spent tracking you down in sleazy
Crack-houses, prying you out of the arms
Of boys with only one thing on their minds,
And you already stoned, set on giving it to them.
Long after walking through the door, coughing
In that murky half-lit room, only to see your bare ass
Taunting me through the thick drugged haze
As it lewdly bounced on top of your dealer's
Older brother's nude form, I loved you still.
I carried that anemic emotion close,
Force-feeding it on gourmet thoughts
Of you for years. It dined on our first kiss,
Stolen in the girls bathroom between classes
As you pulled a very angry me out of the hall
And had your lips on mine before I'd
Even had a chance to start yelling.
It was nourished with you wiping the tears
of a bad day, a fight with my parents,
Frustration, away from my cheeks with
your shirt sleeve as I melted into your arms.
It indulged upon you surprising me with a pink
Kneeling fairy figurine you gave me
On my birthday. My birthday: the day you left
Out of town, out of state. You left me. I stayed
Behind. Hurt. Somehow I started over again.
Now, years later, you've come back
Into my life, fallen in front of me
With the big splat of a pigeon's gift
In the middle of my windshield.
Crooning on the phone to me, you are
Sneaking your way in, asking for a poem.
Tired, I put my pen to paper and don't
Know where to even begin.