She calls me tonight out of the blue;

I haven't talked to her in weeks.

When she asks what I'm doing I reply,

'Poetry.' Write me a poem, she says.

So I do, not knowing where to begin.

I fell for you hard when we first met.

Dating my ex that I wasn't quite over

Yet, you were somewhat of an enigma

To me. Drama ensued, you were on

The market, and it was then my turn.

Taming you was like something

Out of a bad 80's rock movie.

Drugs, alcohol, and parties all followed

You in that smoky blue haze I became

All too familiar with in your arms.

I close my eyes now and I can

See you sitting there on the edge

Of your bare mattress, legs crossed,

Juggling both a joint & a cigarette

Expertly in one hand, a master. The ashes

Of one fall perfectly into the ashtray,

While you bring the other to your glossy

Lips, inhaling slowly, deeply. This image

Alone causes bells to clang inside my

Skull still. I should have known then. Flash-

Back to that night when you fell asleep

In my arms. The moon peaked through

The broken window blinks, one perfect

Beam thrown across your sleeping face.

You looked like an angel then to me,

And I had forgotten about you baring

Your breasts to strangers just hours

Before. Cuddling tight against you, I fell

Asleep myself. At sometime during

The night you left me, alone and cold,

For your sister's bed in the other room.

Because I was afraid of you, you told me

That morning. I have yet to discern why.

Four months we were together and never

More than frantic kisses, hesitant gropings,

Well-hidden hickeys passed between us.

I know I loved you. Long after the endless

Nights spent tracking you down in sleazy

Crack-houses, prying you out of the arms

Of boys with only one thing on their minds,

And you already stoned, set on giving it to them.

Long after walking through the door, coughing

In that murky half-lit room, only to see your bare ass

Taunting me through the thick drugged haze

As it lewdly bounced on top of your dealer's

Older brother's nude form, I loved you still.

I carried that anemic emotion close,

Force-feeding it on gourmet thoughts

Of you for years. It dined on our first kiss,

Stolen in the girls bathroom between classes

As you pulled a very angry me out of the hall

And had your lips on mine before I'd

Even had a chance to start yelling.

It was nourished with you wiping the tears

of a bad day, a fight with my parents,

Frustration, away from my cheeks with

your shirt sleeve as I melted into your arms.

It indulged upon you surprising me with a pink

Kneeling fairy figurine you gave me

On my birthday. My birthday: the day you left

Out of town, out of state. You left me. I stayed

Behind. Hurt. Somehow I started over again.

Now, years later, you've come back

Into my life, fallen in front of me

With the big splat of a pigeon's gift

In the middle of my windshield.

Crooning on the phone to me, you are

Sneaking your way in, asking for a poem.

Tired, I put my pen to paper and don't

Know where to even begin.