Help! My daughter wants to marry a human!
Jen: Hi, and welcome to the Jenny Jone- uh I mean, The Jenny show. How would you feel if your father didn't want you to marry the one you loved? Well today, we will be talking on interspecial relationships. We are going to meet a lovely little Mer named Maid. Hello Maid.
Maid: (sniff) Hi Jenny. It's great to be here.
Jen: You're here because your father disapproved of your relationship with The Prince, a dashing hansom young man.
Maid: Yeah, he can be such an as- I mean, jerk sometimes. He acts more like a Shark officer than a father. He thinks just because he's the king of the ocean, he can treat me like his stupid guppies. (Starts crying) but I'm not a stupid guppy, I have feelings!
Jen: So you really resent him, don't you?
Maid: How can I not? He always told me that I needed to respect different people. That I always should be friends with someone who's not like me. I need to be tolerant of other things cultures. And the moment I fall in love with a human, he goes back on his word and completely resents me.
Jen: Well we have a little surprise. Bring out Maid's dad!
(Everyone boo's the dad. He's wheeled out in a wheelchair)
Jen: Nice crown.
Father: Silence Landlubber! You will only talk when I permit you!
Jen: Uh yeah. Anyway, I understand that you are angry at your daughter for falling in love with a prince.
Father: He's not just a prince! He's also a human. And I hate humans. Why, I remember back in the day when we used to eat humans for breakfast. But then they turned on us, and now they munch on us. I can smell the Red Lobster five miles away. . . Poor Sebastian.
Maid: (bored) Sebastian wasn't a lobster, he's a crab.
Jen: (Perky) Okay, shut up! Lets take some questions. You over there, with the weird hair.
Audience member number one: How are you planning on being with your "boyfriend?" It's not like you two can take long walks on the beach.
Maid: Well, I'm going to have an operation.
Audience member number one: . . . .What kind of operation?
Maid: I'm not really sure how it's going to work. All I know is that I heard about it off the internet. It's going to be videotaped so anyone is welcomed to watch!
Father: That sounds like a scam.
Jen: So, does your boyfriend know that you're a mermaid?
Maid: Well, nooooooooooooo.
Jen: You are going to be in for a shock, so we have a bowl of water standing by. Well, what a better time to tell him in front of millions of viewers! Everyone please welcome The Prince!
(The Prince comes out looking confused. The Father starts to wheel his chair over to him in anger, the bouncer holds The Father back. Maid throws a blanket over her legs)
Jen: Okay, okay, settle down now. So Prince.
Jen: Do you know why you're here?
Prince: Uh, something about a free Shrimp Buffet? I'm not sure.
Jen: Well, not quite. Maid has something to tell you.
Maid: Oh all right! ( pulls off her blanket and the audiences to gasp) I'm a Mermaid!
Prince: You're a. . . a . . . a FISH? I can't believe it! All those times you made feed you seaweed. It was all a lie. A LIE!
Jen: Lets take another question. You, what do you have to say?
Audience member number two: Yeah, my question's for The Prince. If you are in love with her, how could you not know she's a fish?
Prince: Uh, I don't really know her very well. I just thought she was hot. You know, I never really got on to the fact that the every time talked she was always in water. Or that she lived in a "Water Palace" I just assumed that was the name of her house boat. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I never really saw it. ( turns to Maid) Were you ever planning on telling me?
Maid: I was gonna tell you after the operation! I swear. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Father: Well, I guess you can't get married now. Too bad, so sad.
Jen. Okay we have time for one more question. What do you have to say?
Audience member number three: This is for the ugly dude.
Jen: The Prince?
Audience member number three: No, the dad. If you taught her such good morals, why are you going back on her now? You've always said she needs to be tolerant of other people, and now you're getting upset that she's marrying a human? Someone need to kick your butt to the curb!
Prince: Hey, I never said anything about getting married.
Father: You don't know me! You don't know me! I know I told her all that. But I meant be tolerant of people in the sea. The SEA! I never thought she would marry such a low person with legs.
Jen: Well Maid, Guess what? We are going to pay for your operation. All of it. Congratulations!
Six months later. . .
Jen: Okay, Six months ago we paid for Maid's operation! Come on out Maid!
(She's got legs starts playing, Maid walks out.)
(Maid falls, but gets back up)
Jen: So Prince? What do you think?
Prince: Oh it's great! We go everywhere together. It was kinda hard at first. I ate a couple of her friends a Skippers. But other than that, well we're getting married!
Jen: And how about your father? How does he feel?
Maid: Well he got eaten by a shark about three months ago. So he can't really object.
Jen: Yay! Okay thanks for coming everyone! Until then, try not to sleep with the fishes!