What Fairytale Theater Didn't Want You to See by

diddly day

Once upon a time there was a girl named Rapunzel. She lived in a tower on the outskirts of town. She had been captured by an evil witch who was so bent on having a child of her own, that she stooped to stealing Rapunzel from her crib on night, and locked her away so she could keep an eye on her.

The years went by, and little baby Rapunzel grew up. She was beautiful. She could sing, dance, and was dumb as a post. She would often spend her days reading cheesy romance novels, or filing her nails. She would dream of the day when her one, true love would come and save her.(that was probably because of all the stupid romances she read.).

But the most appealing thing about Rapunzel, was that her hair was longer than Jane Seymore's. The evil, but not too bright, witch had foolishly lost her key to the tower. So every day she would yell at Rapuzel to let her hair down, and she would clime up it through the tower's upper window to her room, (Rapunzel was not to keen on this approach).

One day, Rapunzel was in the middle of reading Cosmo, when she heard a shout from her window.

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!" Shouted the witch. Rapunzel groaned and stood up over to the window.

"I will!" she yelled down back at her "Only if you promise not to pull to hard like you did last time! I had a headache for hours!" The witch sighed impatiently.

"Yes! Yes! Just gimme!" Rapunzel through down her hair, and braced herself for the pain, and sure enough, there came a tugging on her head. The witch was quick. She was in rather good shape. A two time world champion at rope climbing.

"Oh!" the witch exclaimed. "Your hair! It is so dirty. When was the last time you washed it?" Rapunzel tried to remember, She suddenly came up with a "brilliant" answer.

"Not for a long time." (Hey, I told you she was stupid.)

"Well, why not?"

"It's so long, it's just too hard to wash!"

"Well child, that is no excuse. Lets wash that hair!" The witch ran and got some Suave shampoo and conditioner. It took several tries to get that hair semi clean, but it was finally done. Then came the blow drying, and I'm not going to get into that. But when it was done, her hair had a Afro that mad her look like she belonged to the Jackson Five.

"Now look what you did!" Rapunzel screamed. "Look at me. Now my true love will never come for me."

"Then I'll cut it." Said the witch.
Well, in the end you could surely tell that the witch had never worked at Super Cuts before, because when she finished, it made Dennis Rodmans hair look stylish. In any case, she butchered it.

"What have you done to my hair?" Rapunzel shrieked. It was no longer the long hair it once was."Now no man will want me!" and with that she shoved the old witch out the window.

Years passed, the wheel of life turned, but it had a major stick in the spokes. Rapunzel waited for her one true love to rescue her, but when word got out that her hair looked like a french poodle, all the prince's in that area suddenly got a great interest in the beauty who lived with the dwarfs.

As time went on, loneliness took over Rapunzel's mind. She grew to be a lonely old bag who had tea parties with her "invisible" friends. She began talking to spiders, and started to call her shadow her long lost sister. In the end, people remembered her as the crazy hag, who would dance with her cats. Hey, who said every fairytale had a happy ending?

The End?