Undeserving

Is that what you want? No.
Are you fooling yourself? Yes.
It won't be what it seems.
It's more work than you could possibly imagine.
Stop pretending.
Pretender.
You're not one of them.
You never will be.
You're just human.
Nothing special.
Nothing to be recognized.
Nothing to be celebrated.
Nothing.
That's all you are.
To me.
To them.
To everyone.
Just nothing.
Just another face in the crowd.
Who happens to have a few other faces that know your name.
Whoop-i-dee-freakin-doo.
Big time now, baby.
Cry-baby.
Whiner.
You are a fucking loser.
I've never seen such a fucking loser in my life.
No wonder nothing good ever happens to you.
No wonder no one loves you.
No wonder you can't accept the ones that do.
No wonder you can't love them back.
Not like they want.
No wonder you can't just let it go.
Because it's not going to happen.
Ever.
And it's your fault.
You and your stupid desire.
You and your half-realized dreams.
It's just a dream anyway.
You'll never have that.
Can't you get over it already?
Whore.