Well this morning I decided I wanted to sit on my ass and play video games all day

Until I believed that hacking bushes might cure me when those little floating hearts showed up

And my math teacher would disappear in a cloud of smoke after I whacked her with my sword a couple of times

I wanted to play until I saw arrows in the air right before I passed out and my feet were still moving

What do you mean I can't pull out a rocket launcher- locket raucher- from my pocket?

Instead of sitting here repeating to myself: One, Four, One, Five-Seven, One, Inversion

I wanted to mutter to myself:

"My thumbs are bleeding but I still love you Master Chief!"

Right before I passed out again

And I'm not sure what exactly it is about video games

And Zelda-

Why is it called Zelda when Link does all the work? Why does Link even bother with rescuing Zelda anymore? We all know she's only going to be stolen away again.

And I'm not sure what exactly it is about video games

Role-playing, first person shooter, or strategy

Or whatever

That makes them more desirable than sitting here on my ass wishing I were playing video games but I'm really just staring at these SAT study books again.

Or oooo-a change…ACT books

I'm not exactly sure what exactly it is about video games

And I don't think it's an escape from reality

Because no matter how many times I shoot at those study books with a plasma pistol and an SMG

Or try to splatter my English teacher with a Banshee screaming "Bounce off my fender!"

They won't kind of fade and disappear

Or sometimes, their bodies will, rag-doll-fizziks-style, go flying

Who said video games aren't good for academics?

We know that if you shoot a rocket at a body it'll go flying a lot in a funny way

And we also know, or when we remember, in Headlong if you take a wraith and hit a person with an overshield, you can find where reality stops

And yeah, violence might be an issue

But we're all too busy sitting around on our asses playing video games all day

Or at least I wish I were

And someday I might

When these superficial events are over

Like college and living with my parents and poetry slams

I'll kind of… you know

Sit around on my ass

And hallucinate that maybe if I try one more time to jump into that painting I might succeed

Or if I could play this Ocarina correctly

Or if I could get that one arrow pattern right after I swore I'd never get obsessed

Or if I could properly aim with anything but a shotgun or sword

Or if I could even get those little blocks to line up

Or if I could…err…yeah.