January 17th 2005
A Love so Pure
In 2120 the world came under one rule. One democracy. One people. One Economy. One language. One peace. The government was called the New Rule. It was a glorious union, a union of all races, languages, and people! A new government where peace was abundant and people would never hear about war. Everyone shared everything! Everyone was equal! Everyone was under the same rule! And together they were powerful!
Together they could overcome any obstacle! They could do anything!
They were gods! There was no room for rebellion or strife! Everyone was normal! Everyone was powerful! There is no God except for them.
But there were a people that didn't follow any languages, races, or color. They were disruptive toward this newfound peace. They said that the people weren't all powerful! They said that there was a God and that He was more powerful then the people! They said that the created could never compare to the creator! The audacity of such a statement started riots! The newfound peace was nearly destroyed by these so called peacemakers! The pure irony! They don't love their neighbors! They hate them! They destroy the peace! They are anti- peace! These so called "Christians" don't care about anyone else, but themselves!
The New Rule had to do something! They came together as one and decided to outlaw Christianity! The horrible Christians were enslaved and executed! They were given a fair trial and a chance to recount themselves, but most of them went to their graves acting stupid and mean spirited!
Now the world is a much better place now that we have gotten rid of these "peace makers". These Christians are the root of all evil! And we evolve and become better as we get rid of the trouble makers. We are now that much closer to perfection!
Taken from The New Rule History Book: Grade 3
By Robert E. Lanthat (c) 2140
25NR January 7th
Why...? Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? They are gone... all gone... I am alone... why? I feel numb. This so called, "peaceful" New Rule has just murdered my family... In front of my face. I hate them! They asked if we were Christians and my parents said yes, and they tortured them and then they shot them... right in front of my eyes... Dad, Mom, Jason, Terry... they're dead... dead... I don't know why, they spared me... but they did. They asked me if I was a Christian and I didn't answer... I am coward... I should have said yes, and have them kill me...
They threw me into a white room with my portable notebook. They gassed me... I don't know what they gassed me with. It is poisonous... at least that is what the voice from the speaker said. He said if I just say that there is no God, and that people as a whole are more powerful then God, then I would be let free with an antidote. He also said that the poison will kill me in 7 days. If I deny Christ I will be re-instituted as a prominent citizen. They said that they could even clone my family and bring them back... I miss them so much...
Why does God allow this to happen! What is His problem!? Haven't I been good to Him! Haven't I loved Him! Haven't I been a good servant! Doesn't he love me!? Why!? If He loves me, why doesn't he save me!? What did I do!? Is this punishment?! What have I done to deserve this!? What have I done... why does He hate me... why...
25NR January 8th
My notebook has the Bible on it... after my out burst I went back and read it. I don't know why. I was so angry at Him. The speaker is getting annoying. They keep telling me about all the good things that I can become. I think there was a girl crying on the other side. She wanted me to deny Christ... I might of... Had I not started reading the Bible. John 3:16 "For God so Loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life."
I read that verse... I know that I am going to do in 6 days... I know it, but I am not as scared as yesterday... I thought about that verse... I thought about what it means to me... I thought about yesterday. Why did He take my family...? Why am I going to die...? What did I do wrong? I thought long and hard yesterday... I thought about it... then I came up with another question... why did He die? He went through the same thing I am going through... He didn't desert me... I think He loves me... I think He cares... But why...? Why did He allow this to happen!? He saved Daniel's three friends, why didn't He save my family?! Why!? Why?! WHY!? He has the power to forgive sins, but not to save me! Why don't I denounce Him!? Why?! I hate Him... I hate Him... I hate the New Rule... I hate this room... I hate this journal... I hate myself... I hate myself... why...
25NR January 9th
I was reading the Bible again... I read Job. I don't know why I read it... I just read it... Job suffered... God allowed it... God is God... God is the maker of the universe... God is who He is... He is God... He is sovereign. I am trying to accept that... Oh, I am trying to accept it! I really am! I cried all night... the speakers have stopped... only 5 days left. God created everything... He created me... He can destroy me... He is God... who am I to argue... He is some maniacal freak who gets His kicks from torturing His followers... I guess He likes it... I don't want to follow a God like that... He is God... I won't deny Him... But I won't serve Him...I hate Him... He hates me... I hate Him... I stopped asking why. There is no hope. There is no reason to live or die... I just sit here in this white room... alone... all...alone... I hate Him...
I read the Bible... I read Philippians... Paul said that he didn't know if he wanted to die or not... or rather He couldn't chose between the two... He said that to die was gain... to live was Christ. I asked God why? Is He who I thought He was? Is He really a God of wrath? I read John. I started to cry when Jesus died. I wasn't crying because He died, but because He suffered... He suffered for me...
He does love me... last night I rededicated my life to God. The speaker has started talking again... I don't listen to it. I read Acts. I read about Paul's imprisonment. Why did God let Him suffer? I don't know. I may never know. The question isn't why, but do I trust Him. I thought about it last night. I used to be on fire for God. I used to love reading about Him in the underground Bible studies. I used to trust Him. I didn't for awhile... But I trust Him Now... Ha! I love Him. He died for me. I will die for Him! I will stand before Him and look Him in the eye and tell Him I trust Him. I am not scared. I am in love. A love so pure. I will never be able to Love like Him. A love that is pure beyond words! A love beyond description! I changed last night... It was like I saw God. The God... a God who lets bad things happen. A God who lets bad things happen to good people because He loves us. My dad talked about refiner's fire. The goldsmith used to melt the gold with fire to burn out all the impurities so He could see His face in it! I want to reflect Him. He died for me. He created me. I heard a story once in the underground about Jesus. It was a metaphor the pastor used to show Jesus' love. "The devil comes up to Jesus and says 'I have taken your people and turned them to hate you! They are my slaves! They are a slave to their own sin! They follow me!' Jesus looked and says 'What do you want for them' the devil says 'You don't want them! They hate you!' Jesus said 'What do you want for them' the devil sneers and says 'all your tears and all your pain and all your suffering!' And Jesus died on the Cross"
It seemed to ring true. 4 days till I die... 4 days until I see...
25NR January 11th
I am starting to hurt... I was gagging all night. I am getting weak. The voices still talk. I ignore them. I am praying and worshipping my creator. My Savior. My God! I ache, yet I pray on my knees to Him. I ask that He prepares me. I read Romans.
Romans3:23 "for all have fallen short of the glory of God." I read that and laughed! How can these people believe that they are better then God?! I turned and looked at the speaker and shouted that verse! I continued to shout it until I got dizzy and fell down... I started to vomit.. I don't feel good. But I love God...
Romans3:24 "and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." HA! I love it! He gave it freely! I love Him! I prayed to Him. I told Him that I was sorry for not trusting in Him.
Roman8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his name." I love Him. I may not be saved from this terrible sickness, but I will continue to love Him! He didn't abandon me! I won't abandon Him. He will do good to me! He loves me! I want to shout it! No one can take this from me! No matter what they do! I love Him! He loves me! A love that can not even be comprehended! A love so pure! So holy! So godly! A love that I am willing to die for! They can't take it from me! They tried to take my family, but they just sent them home! They tried to take me. They almost succeeded, but I refused to let them! Just 3 days until I see my Saviour
25NR January 12th
I hurt! I can't hardly move. My fingers are the only things that can move! I can type and read. I spent the night vomiting. I have soars all over my body. I look like a pimple. I hurt. It hurts so bad. Iread about half of Psalms.
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads besides still waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the Shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever!"
HA! I will fear no death! You are with me! Thank you Lord Jesus!
Thank you! I love Him! I shall not want! Even as I lay here in my pain, I Know He is watching. I know He isn't enjoying it! I know He loves me! I know that He is in love with me!
Psalm27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear!
The LORD is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid!" They can't beat me! All the people in the world can't take this love from me! I hurt, yet he hurts for me! I love Him. He died... He was ridiculed... He was tortured for me. I love Him!
Psalm25:1 "To you O LORD, I lift up my soul;!" Yes! That is it! I hurt so bad, but I lift my soul to Him!
Psalm26:12 "My feet stand on level ground; in the great assembly I will praise the LORD!" I am dying yet I stand on the Rock and praise Him! HA! The people have failed! The voices never stop! They ask me... BEG me to turn away! I can't! I hurt, yet I love Him! They can't take it away from me! They won't!
Psalm7:1 "O LORD my God, I take refuge in you; save me and deliver me from all who pursue me," I take refuge in Him and He is delivering me! He is taking me where they can no longer harm me!
Psalm30:1 "I will exalt you, O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me." HA! They failed! God is more powerful! To live is Christ, but to die is gain! I love God!
This is probably my last journal entree. I am starting to lose my site... I hurt... my fingers are getting hard to move... my head is screaming. I can't type. But I will serve God tell the end!
9:56AM January 14th 25NR Jim Tailor died. The control technicians watched as he screamed in pain. He could talk, but could not see or hear. He kept yelling about a love that was so pure that the New Rule could not defeat it. They failed. The people as a whole could not break the love of a God given freely, to a 13 year old boy. Who was this God that allowed pain and suffering, yet was so capable of a love. He died. In pain. A mass of boils and vomit. Yet even though he died, he succeeded, but not alone.
The technicians saw Jim die. But they didn't see what Jim saw...
THE PAIN! It was engulfing Jim! He screamed! He couldn't hear himself!
"THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD!" He thought "I WILL FEAR NO EVIL!" Then the pain stopped.
He could see a light. A light so bright, so beautiful, that Jim fell to his knees. A voice surrounded him, engulfed him. A voice full of love. "Well done my good and faithful servant. Well done my beloved."
Jim's eyes watered, as he looked around him. His family was around him.
And standing in front of him, was Him. "I love you Lord..."
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for my name, for they shall inherit the Kingdom of God!"