7The Three Little Pigs revised
Once upon a time, there where four pigs. At least I think they were pigs. They might have been aliens, but we may never know. Kinda spooky ain't it? Anyway back to the pigs, or aliens, whatever you want to call them. I like to call them pigs if that is okay with you. I call them pigs for lack of a better name, save for alien, but that seems a little to clichéd if you ask me. So back to the pigs. They were pigs by the way. Just in case you forgot. So these pigs happen to be pigs for some reason that I need to think of. We know they weren't aliens because that would be clichéd and the critics are kinda hard on that kinda stuff, so we won't be calling them aliens. So these four pigs (they are four because if I said there where three pigs them that stupid mother goose might sue me for copyright infringement and since I am a writer I am dirt poor.) So these four pigs (Four pigs mind you not three!) happened to need to build a condominium (Notice I didn't say they needed to build a house! That would also be copyright infringement! SO HA! YOU WON'T BE GETTING ANY MONEY FROM ME MOTHER GOOSE!)
Anyway back to the story. The pigs (who happened to be pigs not aliens or even a big bad wolf.) The four pigs (Who in reality was just three pigs, but one of them happened to be a Siamese twin. Which raises up an interesting question, can there be Chinese pigs. OH! Wait I better change that! Don't want to be considered racist or anything! So the last pig wasn't a Siamese twin, but a pig that looked a lot like a Siamese pig, but was not and I repeat WAS NOT! a Siamese pig! (The
Chinese for better America institution can't sue me now!) These pigs needed to build a condominium.
Each pig gathered the required materials for there condominiums. The first pig gathered a substance a lot like kriptonium, but wasn't because DC comics also is REALLY stingy about there copyright materials so it was actually kriptonium spelt with a 'C' and a random placed Z. So the pig went out and gathered the Kriptonium spelt with a C and a random placed Z. (Notice that even though this pig was dealing with alien substance IT DID NOT MAKE IT AN ALIEN!)
The other pig happened to prefer a more logical substance sort of like weapons grade plutonium! Which he stole from the Canadians. (NOTICE! That this pig did not steal it from the Libyans or Russians, because Tom Clancy and Steven Speilberg already used those examples and we don't wantto act clichéd!)
The other pig was a bit of a moron even though it was a pig that looked A LOT like a Siamese pig, BUT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF RACISM AND PREJUDICE! So this pig that happened to look like a 'you know what, but was not because you know why' made his house out of a substance that looked a lot like Kleenex, but was NOT because of these BLOODY COPYRIGHT LAWS AND BECAUSE I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET SUED!
So these four pigs (Notice I said four not three) built their houses...
I mean condominiums (I meant condominiums not houses really!) When a nice small, kind wolf, (NOTICE I said nice and kind as apposed big, bad wolf, because Mother goose has A TON of Copyright laws and because the better Wolves of America society hate negative publicity and I don't want to seem like I am racist... or...er... animalist with my discrimination.) So a nice small wolf came to the condominiums and said, "I will huff and puff and blow your little house down!"
The rest of this story has been stopped by the Society of Mother Goose and other Small children Books Society, for copyright infringement which are stated in "How I won a million bucks by dumping coffee on myself!" which has been authorized and approved by President Bill Clinton. Thank you for your time.
This story has also been deemed un-readable and a "Thoruough piece of
total nonence, with milllions of randomlly placed parragraphs and loads
of gramatical erors." By the New York Times.
This writer has been sued on the accounts of prejudice because he failed to include Arabs, Caucasians, Europeans, South American's, Mexicans, and African's. Also he failed to state the gender of both Pig and Wolf, causing a discrimination on both Male Chauvinists and Feminists.