Six months had passed since James' proposal to Vampy. They had been married a week after the fateful day, and they alternated between yelling at each other like an old couple and talking sweetly like a brand new one.
It sickened Jule. For he had tried for seven years to catch Vampy's eye, only to watch her fall for and marry a guy who said a few words to her.
And so his plot began. He would separate the two, and secretly feed Vampy a potion to make her have eyes only for him. She would divorce and remarry; dedicating her mind, body, and soul to him.
Atop the Mountain of Despair, which was across the River of Fire and guarded by the Dragons of Eternity, there was a house. Funnily enough, this place was also where James was from, as seen last chapter. But this was no ordinary house.
No, it was home to the Almighty BOB! He was known throughout the world as the man with the largest belly. He could eat five cows and ask for seconds! He could literally drink a lake!
This, though, actually mattered because it was him that Jule went to see. The Almighty BOB was a master potions maker. His services had quite a price, but that was something Jule was willing to pay.
"WHO SEEKS THE POWER OF THE ALMIGHTY BOB!?" a voice thundered. Jule stood up straighter and swallowed nervously.
"I, Jule, come for a potion that will make a certain girl mine!" he called.
"WILL YOU PAY THE PRICE!?"
"Yes!" Jule replied. He snapped his fingers, and fifty cows were driven into the house, and they all vanished into a storage pen. A potion appeared in front of Jule, and he quickly took it.
"THAT POTION WILL WORK ON ANY FEMALE. BE SURE TO TAKE SOME YOURSELF, OR IT WILL HAVE NO EFFECT." The Almighty BOB said.
"Thank you, Almighty BOB." Jule replied. He left the house, and drank some of the potion. "Heh heh heh… At last, she'll be mine!" He laughed madly.
Little did he know that he was being watched. If he had known, and known who was doing the watching, he would not have been quite so pleased with himself.
Three weeks later, Vampy and James were calmly eating dinner in the Common Area of the Aquarius Clan's outpost in the kingdom Ethria. The Aquarius Clan was also known as the group the Dragons of Eternity, but this was not known very well. After all, few people wanted to cross the River of Fire and climb the Mountain of Despair to find out the truth. Those who did happened to not return, by some strange coincidence.
"Anyways, there's been this guy who keeps staring at me." Vampy was saying. "And every now and then he offers to get me a drink." James raised an eyebrow.
"Are you wearing those chain mail outfits that do absolutely nothing to leave people guessing about your body?" he asked. Vampy shook her head.
"Nope." The girl vampire said, sighing. "It's a bit annoying, but… Oh well." James blinked several times, but eventually just shrugged. After several moments, Vampy got up and hugged her husband. "Don't worry, I'll scare him good if he does it again."
"Ooh, sounds like that'd be fun to watch." James replied, chuckling. Vampy nodded, and went back to her spot at the table. Half a moment and three instants later, there was a commotion outside like a three headed mutant pigeon had landed in the courtyard and was demanding five big bags of birdseed. Sighing, the two headed out.
"Perfect…" Jule said, pouring his potion into Vampy's drink. He laughed and went out to position himself in the courtyard so she'd see him when she emerged after dinner like she did every night.
Meanwhile, in the courtyard, James, Vampy, and a number of guards were busy trying to convince a three headed mutant pigeon that they didn't have any birdseed.
"We do not have birdseed here!" James said emphatically, waving his arms. "NO birdseed!"
"Birdseed! Birdseed!" the pigeon's three heads chirped. James sighed.
"Back up, everybody." He said. Everybody else did so, and James concentrated. A moment later, his entire body changed into that of a massive dragon. He was more then twice the size of the pigeon. "We do not have any birdseed." James said, showing the pigeon his teeth.
"No birdseed! No birdseed!" the pigeon's heads chirped, looking terrified. The bird flew off as fast as it could go, and James shapeshifted back into his human form.
"Thank goodness that's over." James said, sighing. Vampy laughed, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Good boy. Let's go finish dinner." The girl said. James nodded, and the two returned to their dinner room. "That stuff's thirsty work." Vampy said, drinking down her wine. "Hmm… Interesting."
"What?" James asked.
"Oh, just the flavor." Vampy said, smiling.
About ten minutes later, Vampy walked outside. James had gone up to bed already, so she was alone tonight. And when she saw Jule, her jaw went slack and her eyes widened somewhat. The girl took uneven strides towards him. Jule, of course, was looking the other way, mainly for show.
"E-excuse me." Vampy whispered. Jule turned to look at her.
"Can I help you?" he inquired pleasantly. Vampy moved very close to him.
"I…" the girl said. "I just realized something by looking at you."
"Oh?" Jule responded, putting his arms around the girl's shoulders. "Well, you know, this sort of thing isn't really something you can control."
"Yes…" Vampy said. She brought up one of her hands and pulled off her chain mail shirt, leaving only her undershirt covering her chest. "I realized…"
"Realized what?" Jule asked, trying not to look down. Vampy inhaled deeply.
"I…I realized… THAT YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FILTHY PERVERT!" the girl yelled, slamming her fist into Jule's face. The man slammed backwards, right into the wall. "What do you think I am, stupid!? A potion like that's not going to affect me! When I was in Shaka's service, I received a lasting antidote to harmful potions and poisons just like everybody else! He wasn't stupid, he knew that some people would try to knock us all out with drugs! You were so desperate to sleep with me that you would resort to filthy tricks!?"
"I—" Jule began, not quite fathoming what was happening. "That's not why I—"
"Oh, sure!" Vampy said, snorting. "I have eyes, you know! AND a brain! I've seen the way you've been staring at me. You're horrible at hiding things! You should be glad I'm not going to kill you for being so utterly ridiculous! Now get outta here, I don't ever want to see your filthy stinking face again!" the girl finished. She turned around and headed back towards the housing area she stayed in. However, Jule quickly reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder. "Get your hand off me!"
"Please, just hear me out!" Jule said quickly. Vampy glared darkly at him, but didn't tell him to go away. "I've been trying to catch your eye for seven years! It's not fair that you should just run off and marry that half breed after all the work I've done!" Vampy tugged her shoulder out of Jule's grasp. "Do you have any idea what it's like to see what you want the most just go to somebody else!?"
"As a matter of fact, I do." Vampy replied coolly. "And all I have to say is tough. I don't really care what you want or don't want, James is my husband and it's staying that way."
"And... What if he were to have an… accident?" Jule asked. Vampy laughed.
"You don't know him nearly well enough. Nothing's ever going to beat him, he's just too strong. Even among his family he's a spectacular warrior. Sorry, idiot, but no plan of yours could possibly work. You should've taken lessons from Shaka on being evil, at least he wasn't so cliché."
"Are you implying that I'm cliché!?" Jule roared. Vampy nodded. Jule sighed, then raised his hand. "I really didn't want to resort to this… But I will have you love me, no matter what. You'll learn to love me, if that's what it takes."
"Only in your dreams." Vampy replied, turning to walk off. A beam of light struck her in the back, and a magic seal appeared on her forehead. The girl suddenly stood straight up, and other then for breathing didn't move.
"My dear, this magic seal allows me to control your body. However, you are able to nod and shake your head, I left you with that. The spell can only be broken by me." Jule explained. Vampy turned and started walking towards the entrance of the area. Jule followed, smiling. "You're coming with me whether you like it or not. I will soon be placing a memory loss spell on you, so you'll forget all about James. Then you'll live with me, and believe you are my wife. You will love me." Jule explained.
"Oh, so that was your plan." A voice said. Jule looked up sharply, and found a black-haired boy calmly sitting on the edge of the wall above him.
"Who are you!?" Jule asked. The boy laughed.
"My name's Sha. I'm Vampy's third cousin, by a set of rather complex marriages. We're related, but not by blood. I'm also related to James, as he's also a cousin of mine."
"She married her cousin?" Jule asked, paling.
"No, not really. First of all, she didn't know, and second, I'm not blood related to James either, and Vampy's related to him only through me. It's perfectly acceptable." Sha explained. "Anyways, I don't want you to separate her and James. Sorta irks me, know what I mean?"
"And how are you going to stop me?" Jule asked. Sha suddenly started laughing. He obviously had a plan.
"My plan to stop you is simple." Sha said. He looked at Vampy, and the seal on her forehead shattered. "You see, I'm good with shadow spells and barriers. Far better then you could ever hope to be, actually. You have no chance against me."
"He's mine, Sha." Vampy said. Jule raised his hand, trying to control Sha, but nothing happened when the light struck the boy. "Weren't you listening, stupid?" Vampy asked, snorting. "HELLO!? He's mastered barrier spells, and knows how to counter them. Get a brain!" The girl quickly dashed over to Jule, and opened her mouth wide.
About three minutes later, the girl stood up again.
"Yuck." She said, making a face. "Even his blood is worthless." Sha laughed and jumped down, putting an arm around Vampy's neck before pulling her into a one-armed hug. "Sha!"
"Heh heh heh… Come on, cousin, let's go get that husband of yours." Sha said, starting to walk away with Vampy.
"HOLD IT!" a new voice roared. The two turned around and saw a knight standing there, pointing a sword at them.
"Need something?" Sha asked, removing his arm. The knight caught his breath, then stuck his sword point-first into the ground.
"Five years ago—" he began. Sha groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Oh, brother, it's a hero…" he muttered. The knight continued talking, oblivious to Sha's words.
"—My family was decimated by a powerful evil. Though this evil has been dead for over a year now, I made it my sacred duty to eradicate the last remaining examples of his evil, and this includes all of his soldiers. As such, I believe that- AAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!" the hero/knight slumped over a moment later, having been hit by a massive bolt of lightning.
"ARIL! I wanted to hear his story and see just how cliché it was!" Sha protested. A bolt of lightning hit the ground five feet away from him.
"I don't care! He was getting on my nerves!" a female voice yelled. James walked up a moment later, noting with interest the fact that Vampy wasn't wearing a particularly decent amount over her chest.
"Sheesh…" he muttered, slipping his coat over his wife. "You, Vampy, need to get some standards of decency." The girl giggled and nodded. Another girl walked up; this one had bright yellow hair and looked irritated.
"You!" she yelled, pointing at James. "Cousin James of the First House! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO!?"
"…Huh? What're you talking about? I haven't even been home in months, and—" the boy began. Aril slapped him a moment later.
"I have no idea what the heck you did, but a giant three-headed pigeon smashed into a conjuration circle and brought a girl from the future to us! I know this has something to do with you, so spit it out!" she shrieked. James sighed.
"Oh, that. I just scared the bird a little, so… I got it to leave." There was a long moment of silence, before a white blur shot out of the shadows and tackled James, squealing happily.
"What the heck is going on here!?" the boy yelled, his eyes huge.
"What do you mean, daddy!?" Vampy yelled. "I never had any kids! I'm way too young for that sort of thing!" The girl just tackled her.
"I'm not your mommy!"
"Actually, you are." Aril said, looking angry. "It took some doing, but I found out that she was made by you two and sent to the distant future to learn. And then she accidentally wound up here. So you have to raise her, now." James blinked, then groaned and sat down. "Oh, and don't worry about being violent around her, she'll be fine. She's literally invincible."
James groaned again.
"I have to take care of an eight-year old hyperactive kid who I can't punish? Shoot me now…" he muttered. A second later, an arrow was released from a bow, going straight towards the back of his head. And it was far too fast to be dodged.
Part Two: The End
The moral: Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.
Stay tuned for Part Three.