This is what has to be done, I thought as I stepped up to the podium.
"Friends, members, fellow writers, I have come to a decision. Maybe I'm being too forward, but this has to be done. This will stop now. We tried to ignore them, we tried to understand and sympathize with them, but nothing has worked. This is what is has come to.
"I am declaring war. I am declaring war on the spammers and the flamers. They will be stopped once and for all. Once and for all." A paused for a moment to let the words sink in.
" I am drafting every able writer in . Only we can stop the spammers, so it is our duty. It is our , and the spammers are ruining it for the veteran writers, and crushing the hopes of new writers with their horrible reviews. No one wants them, everyone despises them, and they keep flaming. They keep coming. They keep destroying perfectly good stories and complaining that it's our fault. They've destroyed one fan fiction database, and we don't want to be another. They're the reason we don't have a top 10 list, or numerical reviews. They're the reason we're thinking of monitors- monitors! We'll lose a couple of our rights because of them! Who know what else they'll cause.
"I'm not sure how many spammers there are on , but I'm pretty dang sure we outnumber them.
"An old proverb says 'Fight fire with fire' and that's what we're left with. We tried to fight fire with water, but like a grease fire, it spread instead of extinguished. We tried ignoring the fire, but it only spread further, burning our 'home' while we looked the other way.
"I will stop this plague, the horrid fad, by myself if I have to. I will stand alone, maybe to my demise. Because:
"I pledge my allegiance to Fan Fiction dot net-the community of fan fiction.
"I honor the stories and respect the opinions of everyone within.
"I show my respect to the authors around- every race and people in the world.
"And with my hope of a united earth the spirit of the universe I uphold." I paused again.
"Spammers-you're going down." I left the stage, not waiting for a response. "Let the fireworks begin."