THE WANNABE HAIKI (NO YOU IDIOT, YOU SPELLED IT WRONG! ITS "HAIKU"!)

OOPS SRY!

TAKE 2!

THE WANNABE HAIKU

What am I supposed to do with this cabbage?

Eat it? Dance with it? Send it to the moon?

I cannot do that, you idiot! I love the cabbage!

YOUR MOMMA'S A CABBAGE!

Alright, CUUT!

What is this crap? This isn't a haiku! It's just the ramblings of a mental case that is overly obsessed with a CABBAGE!

Um, sorry?

You better be! Now write a PROPER haiku and NOT about cabbage!

Sorry master, I will obey :'(

Ahem...

Take 3!

I love the blue sky

It is so awesome and fun

...Where'd my cabbage go?

(Offstage) CABBY WHERE ARE YOU?

No response

CABBY PLEASE BE REAL! I LOVE YOU!

Weeps like a small girl

Now my life has no meaning!

If it wasn't enough yesterday i even lost my beloved goldfish Spunky!

He died, DIED! OF WHAT MIGHT YOU ASK?

OF THE CANCER OF THE FIN, THAT'S WHAT!

ITS THE CABBAGE THAT KILLED HIM!

ITS THE CABBAGE THAT GAVE HIM CANCER!

IT WAS FULL OF URANIUM!

DAMN YOU CABBAGE!

IT'S OVER!

WE'RE THROUGH!

GOODBYE URANIUM FOREVER! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

WAOIA HGWA8REYGIUWYTWG32I9626V5 YHEWKJFBSOIUGDSA A39B86Y 3WQ!

um...yeah...

THE END.