Not-So-Typical

Summary: Typical tale…evil sorceress locks up beautiful damsel and charming knight rescues her. Only, Diana isn't your normal pathetic storybook damsel. But hey, combat boots could throw anyone off…

Long Summary: Typical tale…evil sorceress locks up beautiful damsel and charming knight rescues her. Only, Diana isn't your normal pathetic storybook damsel. But hey, combat boots could throw anyone off…now an awkward, but still charming knight is caught up in trying to save a headstrong young woman who seems to take more joy in her tower than the outside world.

First story on this site…so be nice! Constructive criticism is always needed and appreciated!


Chapter 1: First Sight

It was early in the morning when Valian awoke to the sound of a fair maiden's screaming.

"Help! Please, somebody! Help me!"

Instincively, he stood up, stomped out his fire, drew his sword, and ran madly in the direction from where the screams had come. The trees blurred in front of his eyes as he listened carefully for the woman's voice.

Keep talking, precious damsel, he thought, hopping over a fallen log. I am on my way.

As he heard her again, he turned sharply to his right and plowed through some shrubbery. 'Lo and behold, there was the tower, tall and menacing, in the middle of an open clearing. At the top was a window, lace curtains billowing out of it in the light breeze.

He stopped and looked for signs of danger, but could see none. No dragon to slay, no bandits to fight, no one to blame her cries on. He glanced up at the window once more.

"My lady?" He called out, sheathing his sword and cupping his hands over his mouth. After a brief moment a girl appeared within his line of sight.

Her hair was light brown and straight, resembling the coat of a newborn fawn, and her eyes were large and blue, with the innocence of a doe. Her skin seemed to glow and cheeks were rosy—she would have been an altogether beautiful creature if she didn't look so intimidating.

"What?" She asked, clearly agitated. Her voice was sweet, and had the capability of breaking many hearts, but now it was shrill and authoritative. Valian cleared his throat.

"My lady, I ask thou for thee name." He said, growing uncomfortable.

"Oh, cut the crap." She said, now looking bored. Valian craned his head up at this beauty who dare use such foul language.

"I beg your pardon, but—"

"I said, cut the crap." She repeated bluntly. "My name's Diana. Now go away."

Valian opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and sighed.

"Fine, whatever. I'm Valian and I've come to rescue you from this horrible fate of yours…how did you get up there?"

"That's not important." Diana said impatiently. "Just go away and leave me alone."

"But I heard screaming." He said, confused. "I only assumed—"

"That's great. Exit's that way. Goodbye." She left the window, and a very startled knight.


Diana sat in her chair, letting time pass by slowly. By her guess, it had been nearly an hour since that idiot knight had shown up and requested her rescue as if she was some sort of distressed princess. And of course, she was not. She wasn't stupid or easily tricked like her many cousins who had gotten themselves into similar situations. No, it was safer in the tower where nothing could harm you.

But it could get boring. Which is why she had invented a little game called 'Luring in the Unsuspecting Stranger'. It involved screaming at the top of your lungs until someone showed up and then telling them off for being on private property. It was great fun.

That is, until this guy. He just wouldn't go away. She was about to go to the window for a peek at him when she heard a cry.

"I'm coming up!"

She stopped. No one could get up here unless

She hurried to the window, but the knight was still there, in the same spot as always.

"Just giving you a warning." He called up to her. "Do you know of any way to let me up there?"

"Why would I just let you come up into my tower?" Diana yelled down to him. "I told you to leave!"

"I can't just leave you here!" He argued. "It just isn't right!"

"That's too bad." Diana yawned, feigning fatigue. "I'm getting tired. I think I'll retire for a nap. Until we next meet, my knight."

And she headed for her bed, knowing that none of these knights ever lasted through her naps, because they could go on well into the night, and by then they would just give up.

But when she woke up around midnight, the knight was still there, resting at the base of the tower, staring straight ahead. At her rustling sound, he clambered up at attention.

"My lady Diana," He said quietly. "I've been waiting at the bottom of this tower for eighteen frickin' hours. I don't come all the way out to the middle of nowhere just so I can pansy around and wait for woman like you to make up your minds. Now, please, tell me how to get up into that tower so that I can get you down and take you back to my kingdom."

"Why would I want to go with you back to your kingdom?" Diana asked, irritation creeping into her voice.

"Because once a fair maiden is rescued by a charming knight she is forever in his gratitude. Isn't that right?" He stood now, tall and confident.

"Uh, no." Diana leaned out. "I'm not that kind of maiden."

"Give me one chance." Valian pleaded with her, looking up at her face, which must have looked ghostly in the moonlight. Diana stared down at him in the darkness, his form encased in shadow as she contemplated his request.


"Fine, you can come up." Diana finally shouted down to him as he awaited her answer. He suppressed a snort. That was one step closer.

"How?" He asked patiently. "Will you show me a hidden staircase so that I may walk gallantly to your chamber doors? Will you let down your locks of dewy hair so that I may climb up it to your windowsill? Will you use a magic spell to sweep me up onto a cloud and into your room, so that we can fly away, never to return?"

She pointed. "There's a ladder in the bushes." She said flatly.

Valian furrowed his brows and walked towards the bushes.

Ladder…?


"Now I'm coming up!" Valian called. "Are you ready?" She heard the 'thunk' as the wood of the ladder made contact with the stone of her window.

"Yes." She said, standing back, and waited.

In an instant, a head appeared at the top of the window.

"I can come in, right?" He said, his face smiling. She backed up slightly as he rose up and over the window, now in her precious sanctuary that no one had entered (beside herself) since she was a child.

The moonlight seemed to cast an entirely new appearance to this persistent knight. His hair was honey colored, messy, but handsomely so, and his eyes were of the purest copper. His face was naturally cheerful, and he would have looked extremely delectable if he weren't looking so darn uneasy.

"What now?" she asked. "You're in my tower now, and that's all you wanted, right?"

But he was only looking at her with (what seemed to be) disbelief. From what he could see from the ground outside, she was wearing a vest with corset strings, giving him the impression that she was wearing a dress. But no, a dress was far from it. In fact, she was wearing some loose brown pants and very mean looking combat boots.

She sighed and snapped her fingers.

"Well, what now?" She asked when his attention was now on her face again.

"You leave with me." He said simply. "This is a rescue, remember?"

"Oh, no it isn't." Diana clucked. "I stay in my tower."

"Then I stay with you." He said, moving for the ladder, grabbing it, and preparing to swing it down onto the ground below. She gulped in her throat. What do I do?

"Do it." She found herself saying. "It doesn't matter who I'm in here with, as long as I don't leave."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself, lady."

And he tipped the ladder back.