I am writing you instead of talking to you in person because I don't want to break down in front of you yet again. I really love you, so much more than you know, but I don't think we should be friends anymore. Now that we aren't together, it's too hard to go backwards, erasing all the memories of our relationship.
You don't know me at all, you have no idea who I am, and I don't think you ever will understand me. You say that you do and maybe you even believe that you do, but you can't possibly- if you did, things would have been different between us, and they would be very different now. You misinterpret everything I do. That's why we fought so much when we were dating- remember how much we fought?
Once, long ago, when we were just together a few days, you told me that you could never love me as much as you loved Lana. That was right after you had broken up with her. I wish I'd taken that warning and run. I've never loved certain people more than other people, just loved them differently, so I didn't understand that then, but now I do. I thought I could make you love me like you used to love her. I understand now that Lana will always be your priority over everyone else. I guess that's just the way you are, and it's sweet that you are so devoted to her. Maybe one day you guys will get back together.
Thank-you for always being honest with me. It always annoyed me that my friends comfort me with lies, but you never did. I'd rather not be delusional and happy; it's better conscious and miserable. You've never once told me that I was beautiful, or even pretty. You have never told me that I mean anything to you, or that you love me. Truthfulness is so important in this world.
I always thought that we were good together, but now I realize that I was a rebound for you. I guess I just mistook your affection for love. Of course, our conversations always wandered back to Lana somehow. Our relationship ended up so badly. It was completely self-destructive for both of us, but we both tried so hard. You were the best boyfriend you could be to me, I think. We just don't go together, and no amount of work or love could fix that.
You know how much I worry about you; so even though I won't nag you anymore, please take care of yourself, for me? Always eat breakfast, don't skip school and be careful of your knee when you play soccer.
I know you think I am overly dramatic and sensitive and whatever, but that's just more proof that we weren't meant to be. I know this letter will seem stupid to you, but I really can't be around you right now, no matter how close we used to be. Please don't get mad at me. I'm just too sad that we can't be together to ever be content with a friendship.
You have been there for me through some really difficult times and I really appreciate that. I admire and love you so much, beyond words, and you've changed me.
My deep love and regret,
ReillyTo Be Continued…