The smell of peanuts and bacon washed over him as Norm opened the front door. Stomping his boots to rid them of any excess soil and slipping them off, he dropped them into the dull green bin next to a dainty pair of slippers, sniffing hungrily at the air and letting a grin slip across his face. He moved silently towards the kitchen, sliding the rain-damp hood back from his head and shrugging off his heavy robes, allowed them to fall to the carpet with a wet thud. He craned his neck towards the light from the kitchen.

"Honey? Dearest, I'm back!" No reply, but he heard movement in the kitchen, and knew she was there. He quietly entered the room, eyes quickly finding his wife at the stove.

Jane clicked the burner up another notch, and ducked into a lower cupboard, rummaging around for a moment or two and then coming back up with an armload of ingredients, jumping a little as she noticed Norm standing hesitantly near the table. Her eyes narrowed, and she let the ingredients fall to the countertop with a muffled crunch before turning back to the boiling pot of water.

"I see you've got a full collection this time, Norm," She said, not turning to face him.

Suddenly aware of the frayed rope still clutched in his hand, Norm let it drop to the tabletop and stepped behind her, hands raised to stroke her shoulders. She stiffened for a moment, and then relaxed with a tired sigh, head down as she dug through the coarsely-woven bag of ingredients before her. Norm drew back a little, hurt.

"Yeah, I uh…a lot of people were scheduled to die today, and, well…you know. Slice-dice." He made a pitiful scything motion followed by a weak grin.

Studiously ignoring him, Jane withdrew two large slabs of concrete from the bag and began furiously banging them together over the pot. Chunks began to break off and drop haphazardly into the water. Norm, still uncomfortable, moved to the bag and let his hand slip in – and jumped back, gasping in pain and shaking his hand. The bag began to shake; Jane, rolling her eyes, motioned towards the sink, and Norm shuffled hurriedly over, snatched a moss-encrusted log from a drawer to the left, and then shuffled back over and handed it to his wife. She gave the bag three sharp whacks, and then another when it gave a little squirm, and then calmly began peeling the bark off the log and tossing it into the pot.

"I thought you were getting out of the business, Norm. You promised me you'd get out when we got married." Her voice was cold, but her expression remained smooth and neutral; he couldn't find a reply. He had promised…

Norm fidgeted for a moment, and then moved back to the table to sit. Peeling the last strip of bark free, Jane gave the stark-white log a long stare and then a hefty bite, tearing off a chunk of rich-smelling wood and chewing thoughtfully. She turned, holding up the log as if to offer some, but Norm shook his head, and she turned away again. The bag gave another stir, and Jane groaned, spitting the half-masticated glob of splinters into the pot before darting an arm into the bag and yanking out a struggling mongoose. Norm let his face slide into his hands, breathing deeply.

"It's just so…evil, Norm. Grim reaping sounds so nice at first, but when I see that fresh bundle of glowing souls every night, I just…" The mongoose began to shriek and writhe, desperate to escape Jane's powerful grip. She scowled, frustrated.

After a brief struggle, Jane forced the mongoose into the murky water with a large wooden spoon, holding it under for a few minutes and then tapping the rim of the pot to shake any clinging fur into the concoction. She wiped her forehead with a sleeve and allowed herself another long sigh; Norm quickly got to his feet and moved behind her, massaging her shoulders with expert hands. She gave him a tight smile, but it quickly melted into a grateful grin, and she leaned back against him. He opened his mouth, taking a quick breath, but she shook her head; she didn't want to talk. He helped her ease a long narwhale horn out of the bag, and several shrubberies, which they mashed into the pot with the horn before breaking it in half and shoving it in as well; the surface of the water burst into flames, and Norm took a half-hearted sniff.

"It's not really something I can just leave, Jane…sort of a calling, you know. I've tried for the past forty years, but they don't let a Reaper go so lightly. I…" He trailed off; they'd had this conversation before, so many times it was like reading out of a script. "I appreciate that you take the time to make Soup Surprise for me…the mongoose is a nice touch, and…"

Jane was staring at the rope on the table with an expression of long-suffering, and Norm quickly moved to pick it up, revealing the glowing orbs dangling from several threads. She plucked several off, popped one in her mouth and dropped the others into the pot; the flames disappeared, and the soup turned a deep, burnt orange. She hefted the rope; looking at the remaining orbs sadly, she then nodded to Norm's scythe, propped in the corner, pantomimed throwing the thing out a window…he shook his head.

"I can't do it, Jane! I can't give up a three-thousand-year-long career because I met some Digital Age girl and fell in love! Grim Reaping is my life!"

She spun to face him, face red, and he backed away, arms out and expression pleading. "Am I not part of your life, Normalman McEvil?! My mother was right, what she said. She was so right! 'Never meet an immortal entity called by the Powers That Be from some higher plane to sweep across the dark face of the land and sever the threads of life from those souls whose time has come and fall in love with him or her!' I though it was because she had brain cancer and was a raving lunatic at the time, but oh, was I wrong! She knew this would happen, and I should have listened!"

Norm swept his arms up, his features twisting into a scowl, and the dark robes from the living room disappeared, materializing into place on him; the scythe propped in the corner of the kitchen zipped into his hand like an iron filing drawn to a powerful magnet. "Well, I am such an entity, and we did fall in love, and now we're just going to have to work this whole crazy deal out!" His voice, booming with authority at first, had dropped to a whisper with the last words, and his shoulders slumped. The scythe clattered noisily to the ground. Jane, tears in her eyes, moved forward and pulled him into an embrace.

They were both startled by a giant meteor hitting the earth right outside their house and obliterating all life.

THE END.