Day 3 – Conclusion

"The diplomatic advances of the trained mind are incomprehensible to the objective self, yet altogether meaningful to everyone else. This strange anomaly urges me to set to rest my initial thesis – that of which concerns beginnings and endings. Originally, I began thinking that there were no beginnings, and therefore, no endings; chronology was an illusion, and consciousness was the tool by which that illusion became evident. Existence – true existence – was something that could be neither touched or affected by illusions or any other impurity that consciousness, and therefore it was inconceivable that time was a factor in its consideration.

"The major flaw was that I had retired myself to believe that it was possible to end existence – a direct, yet completely unseen contradiction of my own theory. Furthermore, I was insulted by this error when I had maintained a sort of consciousness. As I have learned, the order of life, consciousness and existence is unimportant, however, very fundamental to the true understanding of why I am here, now, alive and writing this.

"First, I have brought myself to accept the paradox that consciousness is the only method by which existence can be acknowledged. As far as my abilities can take me, existence can never be proved. It may be an illusion itself.

"Second, I remain faithful to my definition of God – that is, the one for which true non-existence is impossible. However, as stated before, existence subsists beyond the safety of chronology, and therefore, this definition is redundant; it is always impossible to take something that theoretically exists and somehow make it unexist. I let the reader interpret the former statements in every way possible.

"Third, I consider my discussion with God the only instance in which I have been led to believe that I am God. That it is quite possible that God does not know who God is, however, knows what God is; that it is possible that God knows who God is, however, doesn't know what God is – and that all the conditions mentioned are quite capable of happening at the same time (I shall let it slide, for a moment, the idea that time is relevant when God is concerned.)

"I am now accepting the sameness in my death – my death and all the days during it concerned only one person: me. At the same time, at a different time, my death was only clouded by my current life. Three concepts accosted me in my death, all myself, and I depended thoroughly on them, while at the same time, they depended thoroughly on me. I cannot begin to explain what this means, or even that it is possible to know what it means – however, I am fully aware that by some will unto myself, I have been granted back a sort of life, a sort of concept that leads me to do now what I am doing.

"I am still the void."