First off as far as I know there is no better Spider's of America, so please don't try to call the number or do anything like that. I am sorry if I accidently did put a real number, address or trademark. It was not my intention. So I hope you enjoy my story of deep woe
Ya, we all know the story of Little Miss Moppet right? We all know how thesupposedlittle girl sat and ate curds and weigh and junk, and how a SUPPOSED spider SUPPOSEDLY sat next to her and scared her away. But that biased piece of, down right, FICTIONAL LIES should be thrown in the GARBAGE! We of the Spiders of better America have another story to tell. A story that is NOT riddled with fantasy and propaganda! We will tell the true story! We are the seekers of truth! We are the Better Spidersof America. A non profit organization dedicated to helping spiders that have been victimized of prejudice. If you would like to make a donation please send your card or money order to Better Spiders of America Idaho Falls, Idaho. 83404 Make the check out to Better Spiders of America Organization. Remember it is a tax deductible gift that can better a spider's life.
Without further ado we of the Better Spiders of America present you the totally factual account of little Miss Moppet.
Doctor Brown Recluse.
It all started on a beautiful Saturday Morning. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and little Timmy Jumper was playing gleefully on his perch in a tree. Little Timmy Jumper was young jumper spider, or wolf spider as they are called. He jumped and frolicked about in the sun and talked to the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. But little Timmy Jumper was raised by his father and mother, Mr. and Mrs. Jumper, to be a vegetarian. He was always so kind! He wouldn't even harm a fly. This is young jumper had dreams of turning all spiders to be vegetarians and help other insects to stop bothering and harming humans so we could all live peacefully and happily. We of Better Spiders of America believe that, if he were alive today, he would have been the first spider to have won the Noble Peace Prize. This isthevictim ladies and gentlemen, NOT the villian!
Now while this young aspiring spider was trying to make peace, a young girl came and started to shake the tree to purposefully knock little Timmy Jumper out of the tree! Now little me explain who she was and why shedid this. This little girl who's alias is Little Miss Moppet, our investigation team has found her real nameto beGretchen Von Hemlick, a Nazi hit woman. This does take place during World War 2. Well this so called LITTLE Miss Moppet was not very little. Oh no! This Little Miss Mopet was 5 foot 2 inches and weighed well over 300 pounds, 323poundsto be exact. She had blonde messy hair and a little mustache like Hitler's! She wore a small glass spectacle on her right eye,and at the scene of the crime was wearing a full Nazi officer's uniform! The Nazis had found little Timmy Jumper's plan of peace, and they could not have that! For you see the Nazi's had planned on using the spiders to wage war on the American's and Britains fighting in Europe! Negotiations, or more like threats and black mail, where all ready being startedwith the leaders of the spiders. If they had a peace maker trying to avidly fight this, then, well they wouldn't be able to harness the true power of the spiders! So Gretchen Von Hemlick A.K.A. Little Miss Moppet started to shake the tree in order to bring Little Timmy to fall to his death!
Thankfully Little Timmy Jumper was very good at what he gracefully jumped off the tree and landed gracefully next to Little Miss Mopper A.K.A. Gretchen Von Hemlick. The Nazi hit woman acted fast and SAT on poor little Timmy Jumper! Timmy did not give up though! He squirmed and wiggled and moved, but Gretchen Von Hemlick started to eat her curds and weigh! The Nazi Hit Woman sat and ate for nearly two hours. All the while little Timmy Jumper wasslowly suffocating and being crushed by the mass amount of wieght.
Gretchen Von Hemlick'splan had one flaw in it though. A woman came walking down the road to the very tree Gretchen Von Hemlick murdered Little Timmy Jumper! SoLittle Miss Moppetmoved and sat next to the dead spider and when the lady was in view she jumped up and started screaming! She claimed the spider dropped out of thin air and tried to attack her! All she was doing was eating her curds and weigh, not harming a soul. Police where instantly summoned, but on their way they were jumped by a gang of Nazi's. The Nazi put on the clothes of the policemen and came to the scene of the crime and told everyone to believe Miss Moppet's tale of woe. That is were we get this fictional story.
We at Better Spider's of America hope that we have shown you the truth. We believe that truth is very important to everyone. We at Better Spiders of America promote truth! If you wish to help truth get out to the public or you are a friend of truth you can help us! Please think about sending us a small sum of money to help us promote truth and destroy prejudice! Please send your card or money order to The Better Spiders of America Idaho Falls, Idaho, 83404. Or you can call us toll free at 1-800-gospider! Once again that is 1-800-4677-4337. Thank you for your time.
Doctor Brown Recluse