1-Clouds-
:: By Hitori-Hoshi ::
-Because of the things I do
I have no choice but to sleep
These demons keep chasing me
I just can't seem to get away
-In my wake
The world around me…
It's so confusing
What do I do?
-Because of the things around me
I don't know what to think
Colors swim together
Like that of a water soaked canvas
-My body breaks
I swim in my own warm life
Everything is so cold now
My mind is chained inside
-I don't like it when people give me orders
They don't understand me
Should I make them understand?
Would they be able to?
-I've been used so many times
Bled
Broken
All because of who I am
-Why do I have to be this way?
Why can't I be different?
I don't want to be me anymore
I don't what my past
-Don't make me remember
Hot, greedy hands
Touching my burning flesh
Can't you see, it hurts
-Once my skin becomes cool,
I lay and I cry
What the hell have I done?
What's wrong with me?
-I'm bleeding
Broken and torn inside
I want to be healed again
But I don't want to take any chances
-I don't want to hear anything
I want to touch the dark void
I want to be alone
Let me feel darkness
-I refuse to be alone
But then again, I don't
I want to feel warmth
But I don't want to see the source
-I want the world to be my canvas
I want to paint with the colors I choose
My blade to be the brush
My blood to be that paint
-Everything here is the same
Nothing ever changes
Same situations
Different forms, faces and a new twist
-It's not as if I want to die
I just have something I wasn't to protect
One think actually worth living for
What I want to be my only responsibility
-Why do you all insist?
On taking everything away from me
It's not fair
Why can't I take my own?
-Everything has a cycle
A cycle, which it must follow
Only is it rare
That something will not follow the given cycle
-I don't want people thinking I am weak
Or that I am ruined and want to die
All I want is for it all to be over
Is that too much to ask for?
-Nobody seems to understand that
Why won't they?
Why won't you?
You could at least try…
-My past… haa
The only think I can turn to
The only thing that understands
Haa… I wonder why that is
-My past is the one thing that understands
Because I am the only one that understands it
We kind of do a 'switch trade'
I take from It, It takes from me
-I want to take away the pain
But it only gives me more
I want to burn away the memories
But it only comes up with more
-For some reason
It has an endless supply
It won't go away
It's everlasting
-No matter what my will may be
It's always the complete opposite
It makes me stop pretending
Makes me realize the truth
-The truth that I want to be a lie
The reality I wish was just a nightmare
Go away
And leave me be
-I'm going to go away one day
A place where my past can't find me
I won't find it
Maybe I want to find myself
-I won't mind really
If I can't find myself
Maybe I wouldn't be able to reflect then
That's one of my worst qualities
-I can't get rid of it though
It won't let me be
And for some reason I can't
Which is why I want to lose myself
-Let me swim in my ocean of darkness
My sea of memories, dreams nightmares
Lies, betrayal, defeat, blood and pain
Let me be free
-I want to get away from here
Break my chains
Cast them into hell
Let them burn in the heat of one million fires
-The fires of hurt and pain -
I wrote this poem on .2005. Yea, I was in 3rd period (Japanese) and I just started writing down things and this was the result…horrible, I know. x.x But I think that I might post up my poetry on here…I'm not sure. Feel free to let me know what you people think though.