4Betrayal
By: Shanna Jenkins
5/10/05
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. It doesn't hold the same thrill I used to crave so desperately. I know though, how badly I need what I already have. Life would be over without my new drug. My walls feel as if they're crumbling around me, no longer supporting the pride I hold in myself. I can't let go, I can't just give in. But do I have a choice?
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. I'm beginning to forget why I'm here; where my place is; what my duty is. This addiction is only bringing complications, however I know that complications are what makes life interesting. But these complications are also what make life difficult, while at the same time they're what make life worth living. Then again, they're what make death seem so… appealing.
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. I know time will only tell where this is taking me, but during this time, this endless fight for survival, I need to make decisions. My addiction affects my decisions so wildly; I'm unable to think straight without it. Where would I be without my drug? What would I decide if I… forget it?
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. It makes me lie to the people I love. It's beginning to cause fights that I could otherwise avoid. But I must ask myself, without my drug, would I be able to get through the unavoidable conflicts that haunt my life? Would I survive without my addiction?
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. What would happen if I left my addiction? Would I come crawling back, begging with a craving that plagued my everyday life? Could I forget? Do I want to forget?
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. It plagues my mind with thoughts I don't want to think. And yet, it blesses me with everything I need, nearly everything I've ever wanted. Yet I can't help but think of everything that's missing. I need these things to survive, but my addiction could never provide it for me. Not without great sacrifice, and more lies.
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. It's affecting everyone around me. They don't know it, but it alters their life as well as mine. The lies are tearing me apart, ripping at every nerve slowly and painfully. My drug revives me, even if only for a short time. It's tearing me away from the people I know and love, yet it's bonding me tighter to others.
My new drug, my only addiction, is beginning to betray me. It kills me, slowly and painfully. I'm frustrated by my inability to control it. I've lost control, and I'm dying. My addiction revives me, but without the same rush it used to provide. After every downfall, things get better, but never to the way they were before. I'm dying, slowly and painfully. I love my drug, and I hate it. I can't live without it, but it's soon going to kill me. I'm losing to my addiction, but it's what keeps me alive. Must I let go?
Written with pure feeling. I'm not going to state what I was referring to as my drug; think what you wish. After rereading this, it doesn't seem as thoughtful as I meant it to be, but there's a meaning behind every sentence. Enjoy and Review.