Goth Boy Goes to Hell, Act III, Part I
Movement A, I'll Beat the Emo Out of You Redux,
The day was long, dull and surprisingly uneventful, day. Jimmie seemed to have forgotten about his quarrel completely, along with everyone else, but something was off about today since second period began… nobody was speaking except the teachers, what had caused this dreadful silence? It wasn't 'til he found himself reading one of many leaflets posted on the walls of a hallway in the school's main building, it was written in what seemed to be read ink and read,
"This day shall end in a mist of red for you students if your name is on this list," the list was quite large and had three names crossed out so far… everyone in town was on the list, and the names read in fine print, Steve didn't see his name, but the list ended with, "And YOU," following the list there was a note, which read,
"I shall take five lives per day if you don't give me what I want,
Love, Eddy," Steve knew to which whom the note was directed towards, but what could he do? He knew not of what anyone wanted of him. Time passed as the classes slipped by listlessly, he found himself at the bus stop rather quickly when somebody finally spoke,
"So… uhm… uh… how was the… game, today?" Nobody else spoke up, two more had been supposedly killed by the end of the day and nobody wanted to speak, think or toil about it. They all just waited for their rides home, and the leavings happened in a way that duplicated many a funeral procession. When Steve got home, his mother immediately spoke,
"Are you alright? I heard what happened in the news, I'm so glad you're alive, sweetie…" she went on and on in her rare and fearful state, Steve had the grace to give his mother a hug. He then went to his room, and nigh immediately fell asleep.
A dream came in the night, a girl was walking down a beach shore towards him, at first she was smiling but when she reached three feet away from him, she broke down into a crying fit as the sky darkened and she vanished… his whole field of vision saw only himself and infinite darkness, there was a figure in the distance, the figure brought fear to Steve for some reason… the figure was the size of an ant from where he was standing, suddenly the figure moves towards him at a pace that defies all physics, the figure is him. This doppelganger was ugly and deformed, its eyes had no pupils or corneas… they were just blank slates of white, the creature got uncomfortably close, shoving its face into his and it screamed,
"What's wrong with you? Why are you such a coward? Why don't you make good of yourself? It's time to grow up, Steve," the thing screeched, it's horrid, rotten teeth showing blatantly, "It's time to take the helm, Steve! You need to start taking responsibility for things, Steve! This isn't funny Steve! It's time to throw that mask away, Steve! You're a fuck up, Steve! You, YOU'RE!" It screeched and hollered and yelled until it exploded into the dreamscape of the previous night, the room, the plastic strongman, and his axe… this time the man was fair distance away… the world was diffused and static, Steve's sight shook as the man spoke,
"You have something I want… something I cherish…" he paused, then yelled, "GIVE IT BACK TO ME! GIVE ME WHAT IS MINE!" The man rushed upon him much the same way the doppelganger did, and again he raised his axe and spoke his words,
"I am not wrath, nor am I vengeance, but I am destiny!" with the surely fatal stroke of his axe, Steve awoke again, this time in synchronization with his alarm clock. What did Steve have that was his? He rushed to school, that morning, mind clouded with many thoughts. He would have searched his locker, but it was empty… he eventually gave up on his tasks and went to class.
"Steven," Mrs. Midler said the micro-second Steve entered the classroom, "I'd like you to meet Stephani," and out came a girl… Steve recognized her… she was in his dream… she would undoubtedly be of use to Steve in his search, if he only knew how to ask her… but he wouldn't as of now, she looked into his eyes and said,
"Hello… Steve? That's your name, right?" her voice was soft and innocent, Steve replied shyly,
"Y… yes… uhm…"
"So, wanna show me 'round?"
"No problem," she glowed and her voice soothed… as they walked through the school, few words were exchanged between them, albeit their constant cow eyeing… they walked around just about the entire school, bar the hallway where the notes were… the classes flew by 'till lunch came, the bells rang and Steve found himself with Stephani once more. They spoke their words of attraction rather quickly… was this love at first sight or temptatious lust? At the moment, this did not matter, for their little world was perfect and happy. For the first time since Steve's false induction into a sub-culture that he did not truly belong to, he was happy. He wasn't a walking cliché, making with false cynicism and poorly veiled reasons to be sad or angry, now he was truly what he was; Steven and not a poseur wanna-be Goth kid whose only purpose is to sulk and angst, he was now behind those things, casting aside the sub culture he never understood or was truly even a part of. He had removed of himself, the mask. Twenty minutes had passed, their cheerful conversation carrying on, they didn't notice the raging strongman who walked into the room with a calm rage and a big, two handed axe. It was the man, and the man was pissed.
"You… you… YOU… Y… O… U!" He bellowed, his veins boiling, "You have something of mine…" he growled, Steve turned in fear, "Something precious, something grand…" he chanted as he walked slowly towards Steve and Stephani enraged, "I want you to give it back, give it back, now…" his impermeable passage interrupted by a athletic student who threw a table at the man, yelling,
"Take that you freak!" the table bounced off of the man, who stopped and glared through the young man, "lo… look, man, I… I didn't mean any of that, I just," the man picked him up by his throat and squeezed, instantly crushing his wind tunnel, aorta and snapping his neck. The man threw the corpse down with an odd impunity. Those who weren't already screaming made a late start.
"Look what you made me do, look at what you impudence incurred!" the man snarled, continuing his march, Steve urged Stephani to run, but failed. He reached the couple and pointed the weapon at Steve, saying only,
"You must give me the thing you stole. NOW!" Steve was in shock, he couldn't move, much less even speak, "Now, god damnit!" he savagely brandished the weapon, "You little bastard! I will shit IN YOU!" He swung the axe, Steven snapped back into movement, an adrenaline rush surging within. He rolled out of the weapons range as it crashed into the ground, decimating the floors checkerboard tiling. The man began swinging wildly at Steve, and Steve relied on speed and much dumb luck to avoid several more blows, the man eventually swung at Steve whilst he was under a table… the table was split in twain. Steve now cowered before the man, and he shuddered backwards on the ground 'till he was cornered at the table the dead jock had managed to throw, earlier. The man again raised his axe, and he said this, and this is all he was to say,
"You little shit!" and swung his axe one last time. Stephanie had jumped in the way, somewhat deflecting the blow from her arm, yet the axe still pierced her flesh and bit her arm. She naturally done what anybody would've done had an axe been slammed into your arm, she screamed bloody murder. The man noticed this and became visibly scared, he ran off out of the building, screaming like a wounded child. Paramedics arrived on the scene ten minutes later, Steve and Steph clinging each other all the while. Soon, a crowd of safety workers hovered about the school.
Movement B, Eight Ounces of Sodium and an Electric Guitar Does Not an Anesthesia Make,
The ambulance jet pro-pulsed through traffic, bashing many a car, bus or motorcycle along the way; wreaking havoc for the sake of a corpse and a girl with an axe wounded arm, hazard pay was always so much better, thought Tommy. There was a small team of medics in the back fucking things up and generally making everything worse, for medics are not quite proficient going down a bumpy, traffic infested road at eighty miles per hours. Tommy really sucked at driving in such conditions, nearly swerving off the road every five seconds like the complete dumbass he was. After the girl was nearly stabbed seventy five times, eight motorcycles were rammed off the road, three cars swerved out of the way causing multiple accidents and no less than ten animals became road-kill, they arrived at the hospital. The hospital was your typical overly sterilized and somewhat eerie establishment where the lobbies were filled with shitty magazines and a large lot of people who are waiting for their family members surgery to end. The operating rooms were likewise generic bloodbaths wherein the air is filled the awful stench of death and organs and many screams float through the area as procedures slip up and things that, when punctured, release jet streams of blood, bile and other miscellaneous body fluids that I don't really care to list… are, naturally not just cut, but sliced in half. As you can probably imagine, the place had a student surgeon program, real surgeons aren't this incompetent.
Stephanie was spared the wrath of being mutilated to death by one of these aforementioned students when a surgeon acting as a teacher in the program grabbed her and took her to one of three demonstration rooms that were scattered about uselessly. It was a very bland, clichéd two way mirror room that usually was used for experimental surgeries, but this hospital had long since given up on that with its student program. The doctor in question is somewhat pissed with the goings on in the operating rooms, tired of watching these idiots maim people over things as simple as a blood test, tired of the law evasions and fraud practices… but that didn't matter, he stitched up the girls arm while explaining the procedure in a very slow and cautious manner, after he finished; he leapt upon the mirror and started yelling,
"It's just that fucking simple, simple! You don't need to cut her fucking liver out with a scalpel you dumb-fucks, just do what I did step by step!" the doctor continued on and his rant eventually segued into something about ducks. There were nineteen students in the seating behind the mirror, one student's head promptly exploded for no reason at all, smothering his classmates in blood, brains, skull and his nasty teeth. It was very rude of him, those stains would never come out, not even after pouring every cleaning solvent the market and beyond upon the laundry. That and the act was ranked below only fart jokes in immaturity. The girl and everybody involved went home soon after, the day had been a little much for some, with all the murder and other excessive uncomfortable happenings.
Not much happened after that really, the day continued and dragged on quite slowly. F Brand, a multinational conglomerate, released a new advert; it was basically a rip off of the classic Folgers ad, but instead of being a direct rip off, it subverted into satanic growls and returned normal 'till the ending, which was chanted, hollered, screamed and whispered,
"The best part of waking up is one hundred thousand dead souls drowning in the blood of sinners and the bile of the innocent in your cup…
From F Brand, the brand you can trust with your children, now with one hundred per cent more Satan!
… Hail Satan, hail Satan, hail Satan, hail Satan, hail Satan, hail, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, Satan is your new God now, bow down before your master, puny mortal humans or you shall feel the wrath and suffer the consequences!" At least three thousand people ended up either vomiting blood or having their homes become possessed demons flesh within seconds of the ad airing, F Brand was successfully sued for a grand total of seven point six million dollars.
Movement C, Renaissance Motherfuckers,
Steve was shoved out of the way when the crowd descended upon him, Stephanie had disappeared with the medics, police and firefighters, while the school was closed down for the day and the students sent home. Military buses circled the school again and again 'till the building was enveloped. The man was here and the man was pissed. Helicopters buzzed overhead and a tank arrived, the sergeant had been waiting impatiently for hours to start his way too late campaign.
"GOD!" the sergeant blurted, "ALL OF YOU ARE IMBECILES! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING WITH INCOMPETENCE! DON'T FUCK IT UP, THIS TIME!" A subordinate darted up from nowhere to the sergeant, bespectacled and carrying a not pad always, began to speak to the colonel,
"Uhm… sir… we, uhm… have a problem,"
"GOD DAMNIT! WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?" the lackey now whispers,
"The air division is not going to be uhm… present…" the colonel blurts,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE AIR DIVISION IS NOT GOING TO BE PRESENT? WE NEED ALL THE MAN POWER WE CAN GET!"
"Sir, we don't have an air division."
"THIS IS," the lackey finishes the sergeants' sentence,
"UN-AC-FUCKING-CEPTABLE! I know." The colonel is somewhat stunned by the timid assistant, "That's all you ever talk about, this job sucks; I quit, you overly pragmatic dumb-assed son of a bitch!" the private continued to slam down the note pad, forgetting that things are a bit different in the army…
"THAT'S TEN-THOUSAND PUSH-UPS, SOLDIER!"
"YOU INSOLENT LITTLE SHIT! DO YOU FORGET WHERE YOU ARE? TEN THOUSAND PUSH-UPS, NOW BEFORE I BREAK YOU OVER MY HEAD AS I DID WITH PRIVATE JOHNSON!"
"I'M ACCOMODATING THREE DAYS OF YOUR RATIONS, SOLDIER!"
"DON'T MAKE ME BUST OUT THE DEFRIBRILLATOR, AGAIN, PRIVATE!" remembering weeks of "shock treatment," the private silenced and immediately started doing push-ups. "NOW! WE'RE GOING TO AIMLESSLY MARCH BACK AND FORTH FOR SEVERAL HOURS BECAUSE I HATE ALL OF YOU MAGGOTS!" the entire accompaniment had overheard the conversation, mostly due to the sergeants booming voice "AND AS FOR YOU…" he turned to the private, "YOU'RE RECEIVING A DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE, EFFECTIVE NOW!" the private stopped, stood up and tried to counter,
"DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK, SOLDIER?"
"N… No, sir…"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE 'FORE I BUST YOUR GOD DAMNED HEAD OPEN!" the private shrank back, then ran off with a yelp…
(Mean-whilst, in the heavens,)
Over the years, many beliefs have popped up; these beliefs are considered by a large many as bizarre, outrageous and downright mother fucking deadly, while others choose to accept them as truth, some say these people are crazy. These beliefs are popularly touted as religion… or cults… or horrible bastard heretic atrocities, due largely to Christianity. It turns out that all of these beliefs are true, except the afterlife part, everybody really fucked it up there, bar those who believe in reincarnation. There is no real afterlife, as souls of the dead are attached a rather brutal cycle of life, death, life, death again, life a third time, some time for lunch and so on. It's rather droll, really, so the council of Gods and Goddesses came up with a simple solution to etch boredom from this cycle, as of 308 A.D, memories were wiped with each reincarnated form, as at this time the complaints flooded prayer and other such divine communications, making the divine really, really bitchy. This decision is the actual initial marking of the renaissance of Europe, as people were now thinking of things other than,
"Gee, I'm really bored, I've done all this shit literally a thousand times over," and well, started doing things that were more productive in general. This pleased the Gods, as they didn't have to listen to millions of whiny little dip shits retort endlessly about boring bullshit.
A God or Goddess is born from imagination, a creature that is hallucinated into being by thousands of bored nerds who don't yet have video games, space operas or Japan to fawn disgustingly over. These theologist types were the equivalent of you're average comic book dork, they took things too seriously and yelled about their views on these subjects, some of them even produced the first of the bilge we know today as fan fiction when they wrote their bibles and holy scriptures, some of them lazily adapting other books for their own personal gain, this resulted in quite a lot of divine entities, as you can probably imagine. Until today, when people will literally praise anything as a supreme divine entity, for instance, the Toaster Brotherhood of Winchester, Oregon praise the concept of a giant toaster which created the universe after a freak electrical accident. Yet none of these beliefs really explain where their Gods and Goddesses came from, yielding many critics, who eventually became known as scientists, these nerds provided a different function for society and took amore hands on approach to explaining things using actual evidence that one can plainly see and accept. This style of nerd became much more popular with time, as they made things that are useful and mildly bemusing.
Two of the most miscreant deities were the overly destructive duo of God and Satan, who didn't know at all how they were affecting the Earth and managed to wipe out humanity… TWICE and also started a small rift in the heavens with their emerging feuds… God was an intelligent gangster who had a soft spot for kittens and Satan was more or less the world's first wanna-be black white person. Understandably after a while God got fed up with the whack assed whitey and banished him to hell after he tried to be a hardcore original gangster
"Y… Yo! What up, home boy?" said Satan in a flat, awkward tone,
"Fool, you'd best shut your damn mouth 'fore I get righteous on yo' cracka' ass!"
"What up, N… Ni… Nigga? What? I'm cool. I… I'm cool…"
"Like hell you are, fool!"
"Home slice, I'm so… so… O.G. that it hurts…"
"Didn't you say that you we're gonna join the Beach Boys, yesterday?"
"Yo, dog; I don't tell you what to do, so you can step off my plate, home grill!"
"What in fucks name are you talking about?"
"Nigga, I am so old school, I should be the big bang,"
"Look, Satan, that's great and all; but I haven't been having the greatest day and I need some alone time… so, if you don't mind…"
"Bitch, I'ma kick yo' ass all up in this shit, just 'cause some ho leaves ya' you get all weepy and shit! I though you was a gangsta, son!" God had a falling out with its current lover, Venus, and was very bitchy,
"Well, you thought wrong, now, didn't you; all you ever do is bother me with your stupid bullshit about," God put on his mocking voice, "O, God, I wanna be a gangsta, or o, God, I wanna do this and that… well guess what, bitch, that's never going to happen, not fucking ever! Man, I'm having a bad day; if one more grating wheeze of a word exits your mouth, I swear to banish without second thought!"
"Nigga, I'll pop a cap in your fat dumb ass 'fore you can do that shit, besides, I'm untouchable 'cause the other Gods be trippin' on banishin' shit," little did Satan know the other gods hated it and its annoying nuances so Satan was banished to the middle of the earth. You know, the supposed dense ball of nickel surrounded by hot shit. But that's not the point, the point is that Satan was a poseur, and that Satan is extremely white. But that doesn't matter because Satan has no significance to anything whatsoever, despite popular belief, there wasn't any war of the angels and Satan doesn't have any powers or influences; all Satan can do now is beg for air conditioning. Of course those pleas will be lost forever in the earths core. Or something like that; I forget. Oh, wait; Satan controls all fear, doubt, and empty headed-ness. I think… oh I don't care anymore.
Movement D, Sex in a Freight Train
Steve missed the bus and ended up walking back home, this took a couple hours and was actually rather uninteresting to boot, when he came home, his worried mum immediately flooded him in questions and affections, and this debriefing took another three hours. Steve was tired, angry, worried, and otherwise a complete mess, he collapsed upon a couch in the living room and slept.
(Perspective Switch Number XIII)
Ted Oakley and finally manages to get the briefcase from Act I, he's a lot slower than he thought, as his right leg had recently given out, making his shambles a lot more impotent than usual. Ted Oakley never wanted to be a zombie in the first place, but circumstances were never quite his thing. When he was seven his parents both died in a horrible rodeo clown accident, at eleven he was kicked out of the orphanage for walking inappropriately, at twelve he was hit by a car for the first time in his life… this series of events eventually boils down to April Twentieth, nineteen ninety seven, when the sixth outbreak of zombies had struck the town…
Ted was your average working man, with his tie and suit (the shirt part, any ways), he regularly worked for the local shady science research facility; he did paperwork while scientists mingled with varying magics and sciences for military research, they were looking for the perfect soldier. The test rooms were horrible, as were the tests, about five hundred soldiers had been conscripted for the job with the promise that nothing too extreme would happen to them. What damned dirty lies those were. The scientists had made a large amount of programs and experiments, involving anything from decapitation, dissection, being hit in the head with a rock to viruses, irritating nano-technology, and even trans-sexual surgeries. So, naturally, most days ended only in blood and tears… except for Fridays, those ended in lesbians. Eventually, subjects were either deported back home to meet with awkward family situations, buried at top-secret locations or zombified. This last step was a product of a viral experiment, initially twenty-five soldiers had been injected with a virus that tinkers with the human brain to survive, the subjects exhibited a strong appeal to cannibalism and a decreased mental state, although one could retrain these creatures and remind them of their past lives if they tried; too bad those scientists never found out about that. So, naturally, you wind up with a nice portion of half eaten scientists and no protection (the guards were equally as naturally part of the guinea pig program, and well, they were all either dead or in a horribly messy mental state and at home)… so, yeah, the scientists were pretty much basically fucked. Some of the scientists who weren't too horribly eaten also zombified within minutes of death, the congregation was quick to make it's way out of the labs and into the lobby, as they could still run at this point if they weren't too eaten. They had a strange ability to distinguish themselves from humans, despite only having been zombies for about five to ten minutes. Ted was killed in the fifteenth minute of this episode on his coffee break; he never saw it coming. Ted was just sitting there, minding his own business, if by business you of course mean vegetating in front of a television while smoking pot in his cubicle. The undead horde had cut a bloody swathe near the area, by now, leaving a fun mess of organs, abandoned limbs and half eaten bodies; Ted saw this about ten minutes too late and had to beat back the wall of flesh with an office chair 'till he made it to main office, in which he immediately shut the doors and made all the fortifications he possible could. One of the members of the undead had decided to tear into his arm as his retreat took place, leaving a nice open wound for the virus to fester in, the disease quickly undertook Ted; Ted was dead. The swat team came around the twenty-fifth minute and totally ruined those undead motherfuckers shit, missing only three. Ted wandered about aimlessly for many months afterward and eventually lost all interest in the flesh of the living, opting instead for a vegetarian route. What I can't manage to explain is how Ted managed to become a functioning part of society and a vice principal, let's assume this part happened by magic. But that's not the point I was trying to get to, despite the rotting, things turned out pretty good for him.
(You'll Never Be Able To Tell The Difference!)
Stephanie was escorted to a secluded waiting room where she was to recuperate, her vision blurred and all became dark… Rosie and the others were all still at the schools bus stop, standing stunned in sensory overload, trying desperately to take in the information that was about them all whilst gaping and drooling. The military brigade had done some pretty crazy shit, they burned down half of the forest surrounding the school, blew up parts of the same building, burned flags, books, clothing and what have you, yelling at random passersby while biting the heads off of rabbits and betting on which contestant would be the first to commit suicide on Jeopardy. Amongst other things… other things involving hallucinogens, satanic rituals, virgins and polka, things of which should never under any circumstance be recanted. The night grew strong as the day broke its early hours…
(Bonus Bonanza I)
"Look, man, like the world is a giant… round thing, right?" Rosie started, "And it spins and stuff… That's just like… amazing, man," Jane, Pete, Zack and Mr. Jacob were all staring intently at Rosie as she mused, half awake, "So I figured hey, why not do that crazy math theory stuff? I mean, half of its just bullshit somebody made up on the spot, any way… seriously, Infinity? Business Math? What a load of horseshit… but, yeah; I've decided that I'm going to make an advancement in math that actually makes it easier to use, I have decided to call it Double Plus Monkeys… ya' know, 'cause everybody loves monkeys. Am I right?" The four, somewhat duped pupils nodded their heads as to agree. "Well, I'm sorry, but… all that stuff that I just said… rubbish." Jane, the only one who didn't automatically fall asleep the second Rosie started talking about math, got pissed at Rosie and ultimately kicked her ass at a banana-peeling contest. The following morning, aliens visited earth and abducted the group. To be continued when I get up off my lazy ass and write the next pretentiously titled and labeled chapter (I promise, there will be some decent character development, this time)!