Suicide Note
Mommy, Daddy-
Teacher, Friend-
This is my last letter,
This is the end.
Opaque clouds are swirling violently in the vast Heavens like
Whirlpools of murky water at the stormy coast,
And thunder growls angrily outside—
A premonition of my inevitable suicide.
Society never affected me.
Mainstream religion whipped me at all angles.
Yet hollow words and shallow connotations
Are but a gentle breeze against my skin—
I do not care.
I never did.
I never will.
And now my apathy, the one thing which has kept me strong,
Has proved to be my ultimate destruction.
Without preference, thought, emotion,
I am an empty canvas of aged cloth,
No longer waiting to be painted beautiful.
For in all the time which has passed,
I have come to the conclusion that I will never be complete
And I am perfectly fine with that.
But it is difficult to live as I do.
Without preference, thought, emotion,
I go through the cycles of mortality
With a smile plastered on my face
And an aching hole in my heart.
And I used to dream of a better tomorrow,
But tomorrow never came.
And now here I am alone in my room,
The rope in my hands is as rough as I am.
The noose, it has been lurking in the shadows of my closet
For two years as of today,
And it greets me like an old best friend—
Surreal, shy, seducing.
The course coils, entwined around my neck so very tenderly,
Bruise and rub me raw,
So that the pain beckons to me lucidity.
But my jugular is being crushed,
And inky black haze is creeping at the corners of my vision
Like the Bubonic Plague.
And it's almost peaceful.
Death by asphyxiation—
Who would have thought that my shameful fetish,
Previously hidden like a same-sex lover in the folds of my blankets,
Would be the only thing to solace me in my demise?