My Own Worst Enemy

please don't antagonize me
please don't call me names
i can feel your eyes on me
watching my every move
waiting to criticize
can't you see you're pushing me away?
can't you see that it's you that's making me this way?
i try to protect myself from you
but it only leads to further criticism
it seems no matter what i do
i just can't get away from you
your caustic words are all around me
i breathe them in and they become a part of me
my mind replays them over and over
until your words become mine
your voice becomes mine
now my own worst enemy is me
the one who brings me down is me
the one who criticizes and labels is me
i hate myself for all i am
everything i do is a mistake to me
and i keep wearing myself down
this is what you wanted isn't it?
you wanted to make me hate me
you wanted me to turn against myself
now your work is done
you can sit back and watch in amusement as i destroy myself
you watch me as i mutter under my breath
as i beat my head against the wall
you smile as i scream at the mirror
scream at myself
your joy escalates as i drive my fist into the mirror
taking another shot at myself
the shards of glass cut my hands
my blood flows like rivers down my arm
glass protruding out of bone
i curse myself
your cold eyes watch as i lay on the floor bleeding
you won't move to help me
you stand there and watch me die
a smile on your face
as i grow weak and my breathing becomes shallow
you stare down at me
'what a tragic accident' you say
then you turn and walk away
and as my vision fades
finally i can see
you were only out to hurt me