The Stepping Machine

Exercise is good for me. It makes me healthy and thin. Okay, maybe not thin but healthy and that's what counts and thinner. Thinner is good. Not as good as thin but good. I'm being very good. Exercise instead of ice cream. Well, maybe a little ice cream later. I mean I'm going to exercise. I'm being good. I deserve it. No, no ice cream. Ice cream is bad. I'm on the Oprah challenge. I signed a contract with myself. Exercise and food to satisfy my nutritional needs. Not my emotional needs.

I kept up the mental commentary in my head as I drove to the health club. I hadn't been there for three weeks but I was turning over a new leaf. I was going to go at least three times a week and once I got used to that four and then five until I got to eight like Oprah said. I knew you're supposed to start out with eight but who can do that? It's a ridiculous number. And I'd be healthier and thinner. This time wasn't like the other times when I tried to turn over a new leaf were I only lasted for a few weeks. No, this time would be different I could feel it.

I took a deep breath and entered the health club. Okay, time to exercise. I stood in front of the rows of machines intimidated. Big muscular men who looked like they spent all day in there lifting weights were walking around laughing, talking, and using the machines.

It's okay I told myself. Look there are plenty of people just like you here. See there's a few over there. I took comfort in the other middle-aged housewives in the club. The ones that could probably stand to loose twenty or thirty pounds and hadn't been in the club for nearly a month. I bet they were on the Oprah challenge too.

Come on, I told myself, its not like anyone cares what you do. None of the muscle men or housewives for that matter knew who I was or cared. They wouldn't care what I did or how bad I looked all sweaty from exercise.

Okay, it was time to get started. Lift weights. That's what I'd do first. I didn't bother to go into the area with the free weights. That's were all the muscle bound men hung out. There was no way I was going over there. Its not like anyone would notice me but still I'd rather not be surrounded by them. So, I settled for the weight machines. I figured I'd do upper body exercises today and I could do lower body ones tomorrow because I was coming back tomorrow.

I sat down at a pectoral crest, set the right amount of weight and started to lift. See I told myself this isn't so bad. In fact its kind of fun. You can do this often. In fact I don't know why you'd stop coming in the first place. See no one was staring at me. I could run around naked and they still wouldn't notice me. No reason to be embarrassed while exercising I moved from machine to machine gaining confidence with each one. Until finally I came to my last one for the night.

After that I would have to do some aerobics. I looked across the room at the aerobics machines wondering witch one to use. I hated the stationary bikes. They were pure evil in my mind so there was no way I was getting on one of those. All the treadmills were taken. So were the ellipticals. Damn, I thought, I liked the ellipticals too. Owell.

The stair stepper of course. Why not? It was the only thing open and I had never tried it before and as long as I was flipping over a new leaf I might as well try something new right? Anyway I always wanted to use one.

They were huge machines. They were like miniature escalators. The steps rose up from the top and went down flattening on the underside of the machine and were moved back up in a circle. As the steps moved down a person walked up to stay on top of them. The machines rose about four feet off the ground making the person on them above everyone else in the gym. Yeah, they'd be a lot of fun.

Finished with my last arm machine I headed for the stair stepper. I looked at the huge machine not sure what to do but I was sure I'd figure it out. I mean how hard could it of been?

"Hey, miss you need help?" I turned around surprised.

"No, no thank you." I stuttered. A large man stood in front of me. His biceps were the size of my midsection. I shifted self-consoulsly not wanting to seem like I was new at this coming to exercise often thing.

"You sure? You look a little confused."

"I'm fine thanks."

"Okay but be careful this machine will eat your right up if you don't use it right." He said and walked away.

I sighed with relief as he left. God, the guys in this place were intimidating. God, I hope Oprah new what she was doing when she got me into this.

Deep breaths, deep breaths. I got on the stair stepper and pushed a few buttons and the machine started. Yes! I knew I could do it! Here I come the thinner healthier me. See Oprah I can do it.

I looked to my left hoping to share how capable I was and how I could start the machine with a I know exactly what I'm doing look. There was a girl on the stair stepper next to me. She didn't look like she was even out of high school. I smiled at her but she didn't notice apparently enthralled with an article on Orlando Bloom she was reading from a magazine. I looked to my right to see a boy who also didn't look like he was out of high school. I smiled at him too but he didn't notice either. He had headphones on and was tapping out a beat with his fingers while moving his head rhythmically to the music I could only imagine.

See, that wasn't that hard, now was it? Eat me? What was that man talking about this wasn't that hard? See Oprah. I'm exercising. I knew I could do it.

I walked on the stair stepper for 15 minutes before I started to notice that it was getting faster and faster. I pushed a few buttons I thought would slow it down but that just made it go faster.

I picked up my pace till I was practically jogging. I was panicked. Crap! What was I going to do! It was still picking up speed. I looked around the room. No one seemed to notice what I was going through. Sweat was streaming down my face and my breath was ragged. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep this up. I gave a small cry out but no one noticed. The girl on one side of me was completely absorbed in her magazine and the man was staring strait ahead bobbing his head in tune with the music.

Didn't anyone notice me? I was on the highest machine in the whole place god damn it wasn't anyone looking at me?

"Help. Help". I began to whisper between gasping. I could yell I couldn't scream to get anyone's attention. I didn't have the energy I had to keep up with the machine.

God, I was hot. So hot. I could feel heat radiating from my skin. My clothes stuck to my body from sweat.

I was loosing ground. I was on the bottom step of the machine and just barely making it to the next one before the one I was on went under the machine.

"Help. Help."

The bottom of my pants caught on the bottom of the machine and for a second I was stuck before it ripped free. I cried out and stumbled but managed to right myself and keep running.

"Help. Help."

Why didn't anyone see me? Why wasn't anyone helping me? Why didn't anyone notice I was in trouble?"

Again the bottom of my pants got stuck on the machine and again I stumbled and again I righted myself and again I kept on running.

"Help. Help"

I began to cry, my voice a hysterical whisper. For god sake, somebody help me!

I stumble again but this time I didn't right myself. I gasped as I fell. Hitting my head on one of the steps. I clawed at it desperately with my hands trying to get up but it was no use. My legs got caught in the gears of the machine.

"Help. Help."

Tears were streaming down my face but through them I could still see the girl next to me absorbed in her magazine and the boy in his music. No one noticed. God, No one noticed.

"Help. Help"

The gears my legs were caught in twisted and turned dragging me down into the machine along with the steps. They chewed and gnawed at my skin but still no one noticed.

"Help. Help." I whispered for the last time as my torso went down under the machine. The girl turned the page in her magazine engrossed in her reading and the boy beat his head to the music.