Howdy. I'd make such a good cowboy. Don't have the time to answer every little review, so instead I shall thank you all and shower you with invisible candy. Aren't you lucky? This chapter was written when I had a major headache, so forgive me if it's a bit muddled in parts.I'm woken up by the sound of footsteps upstairs, right over where I'm laying. I'm alone in the bed. Sam must be awake.
I roll over onto my back and yawn. It takes me a moment to realise that I'm not in my own bed, in my own room, in my own house.
Everything is blurred, and for a second I can't remember a thing. And then it all comes back. Last night, the police station, Jess and Kelly, Sam, the emergency carer. Everything.
Oh, yeah.
I bring my hands up to my face and rub my eyes slowly, letting this strange feeling wash over me. I can't believe I managed to sleep after all the chaos of last night. But then, I was pretty tired.
The stairs creak and Sam comes in, dressed in her school uniform.
"About time you woke up." She sits on the bed and starts putting her socks on. "It's like, a quarter past eight. Those guys'll be here soon."
I sit up slowly and look around. "I..." My lips are dry and I wet them with my tongue. "Are you going to school?"
She looks down at her uniform. "Duh. Seriously Seth, get a life."
She's in a good mood today. I should be grateful for that.
"Sorry. Still waking up," I mumble, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My stomach lurches and I rub it, wincing at the harsh light soaking the room.
The stairs creak again, and this time it's Anne. She's dressed in a nurse's uniform and is wearing a huge smile. "Hey, you're awake. I was just coming in to wake you. Do you want some breakfast?"
I shake my head. I don't feel like eating right now. I feel like I'm still asleep. She frowns. "Well, you should eat something."
"I will," I tell her, pulling Chops into my lap absently. "Just not right now."
She smiles again. "Okay, I understand. Are you ready yet sweetie?" she asks Sam, who's finished doing her shoes and is fluffing up her hair to try and make herself look older.
"Almost," Sam says cheerfully, checking her reflection in the mirror by the door.
Anne turns back to me. "Jess and Kelly gave me a call before; they said they'd be here soon. You might want to get dressed. If you feel like a shower, you're more than welcome to use the one upstairs, okay? They should be here very soon though, so don't be too long. I'll just grab my things."
She goes upstairs again and Sam looks at me, scrunching up her nose. "You should have a shower or you'll stink."
I know I should. It's very tempting. But I really can't be bothered going all the way upstairs for it. It's not that I'm lazy, I just... I'm too tired. Not sleepy tired, just exhausted tired.
"I'll be okay." I put Chops on the pillow and stand up, listening to my knees crack.
"That is so gross. You're gonna get arthritis." Sam tsks, applying her lip-gloss to her mouth. It makes her lips shiny in the morning light.
I don't answer. I kneel down my bag and unzip it, pulling out the single change of clothes I brought with me. It's not much, but it's all that'd fit. Besides, Jess and Kelly said we can get more stuff later.
I can hear the doorbell ring and Sam throws the tube of lip-gloss into the bag. Most of the time I think the only things she keeps in there is make-up and a few pens. Except today.
"That's gotta be them. I'd hurry up if I was you," she adds, walking out. It never fails to amaze me how normal she is with all this. It's as though it doesn't matter to her. Which is a lot better than a nervous breakdown, I guess.
I change quickly, shoving my old clothes back into the bag until it's ready to burst.
"Hey." Jess and Kelly linger in the doorway, matching smiles, matching poses. Matching jackets. "You ready?"
I stand up and edge back to the bed, pulling at the sheets without really thinking about it, trying to make the bed without looking at it. "Where am I going?"
Kelly walks in and sits on the end of the bed, her palms pressed together between her knees. "Well, you have an appointment in an hour."
"An appointment?" I echo, processing the new information. "For what?"
"A medical examination," Jess says from the doorway. "A check-up, basically. They just want to check you over for any signs of... well, you know. We're just hoping to find some evidence that can help us."
"You don't have to do it," Kelly chimes in, touching my hand. I pull it away out of habit, but she doesn't seem to mind. "We're certainly not forcing you into it. It's up to you."
I hesitate, the thought of a 'medical examination' filling me with nausea. "Would it... would it help put him away?"
"Very much so." Jess smiles and her blue eyes crinkle at the corners.
"Okay," I mutter, scratching the back of my neck. "I'll do it. I..." But whatever I'm going to say disappears into thin air and I shrug helplessly. Kelly touches my hand again, and releases it before I can move away.
"Okay, we'll take you there. After that, we'll try and find something for you to do until three o'clock."
"What happens at three o'clock?" I ask momentarily confused.
"Sam's finished school. Then we can pick her up and hopefully by then we'll have found you a place for the weekend."
Another place. Another house, more people. I just nod kind of numbly. Kelly stands, dusting her hands off on her skirt with a loud, "alright then!"
"You can come with me," Jess tells me, "and I'll take you to your appointment. Kelly is going to follow Anne to Sam's school so that she can talk to the principal. Just to let them know that your father is not allowed to have any contact with Sam, and if he contacts the school or tries to pick her up, to call the police."
I realise my head is starting to hurt again. "Are they still holding him?"
I don't know how these things work.
Kelly nods and Sam comes back in, her bag swinging off her arm. "I think they have him until about 2 o'clock. Okay, are we all ready?"
"Yeah." Sam places Chops in her bag carefully. "Can we go now?"
I pick up my own bag and we follow Jess and Kelly outside, to where Anne is waiting by her car. Without a word, Sam climbs into the backseat and I want to tell her to be careful, to make sure she was so careful, but she closed the door before I could even say goodbye.
"She'll be fine." Jess smiles at me, like she knows what I'm thinking. I'm not good at hiding my emotions. I probably look really worried. She shakes Anne's hand. "Thanks for this, Anne.'"
"Yeah," I say carefully. "Um, thanks. Sorry if we messed the room up," I add, without knowing what else to say. Anne laughs and moves around to the other side of the car.
"That's okay, hon. You're more than welcome. Good luck with everything," she adds, before ducking into the car and closing the door.
"Well I'm off, I'll probably see you later Seth." Kelly moves toward one of the two cars parked on the road, jingling her car keys.
Jess and I watch Anne reverse out of the driveway and disappear down the street. Kelly follows in the red car, honking her horn as she goes.
"Well, shall we go then?" Jess takes my bag for me and heads for the second car. I follow, only vaguely aware of the light pounding somewhere in the back of my head.
"How're you feeling?"
I draw my legs up, wondering if she minds that my feet are on the seat. She doesn't say anything about it, so I assume it's okay. "Okay," I mumble into my knees, pulling on my hair gently. It feels like straw. Oily straw.
I see her look at me out the corner of my eye. "Really?" She sounds doubtful.
I shrug my shoulders and the seatbelt makes a weird noise. "Head's a bit sore," I admit, uncurling my legs and letting my feet fall back to the floor. I tap my fingers against my thigh. I can't stay still. I'm too nervous.
"It's probably just stress. Maybe after the examination we can get you some painkillers or something." We turn a corner, and her hand touches mine. I jump a bit and glance at her, startled. She laughs and we're nearing the hospital.
"Don't be so nervous. Look, it'll be okay. They'll make it as quick as possible. And they're really lovely people."
Quick as possible. I'm guessing that it's still going to take longer than two minutes. And I have no idea what the examination does, but I have a sick feeling it's not going to be any type of fun.
There's a small blue building beside the hospital, and we park the car in front of it. My inner organs are on a rollercoaster ride.
"Relax." Jess smiles softly, and I follow her up the winding cement path. "It'll be a piece of cake. Really. It might be a bit uncomfortable, but I promise it'll be over quick."
Uncomfortable.
Inside, the walls are a cool blue and we're told to wait in the kitchen. I wonder why there's a kitchen. Probably for the staff.
We sit at the table and the rollercoaster is going way too fast now. Jess plays with her keys, scratching at the table with them. "I'll wait here for you, okay?"
I don't move; just examine the magnets on the fridge. Sam is probably in her English class right now. Sometimes I wish I'm still at school. If I was, I doubt I would've gone today anyway.
"Jess?" The woman who told us to wait in here is at the door, holding a clipboard and a pen. "The doctor's ready to see the young man now."
Jess flashes me another of her smiles. "It'll be easy. Don't worry."
The woman hands her the clipboard and pen, and motions for me to follow her. I have no choice now, do I? I follow her down a hall to a small blue room. There's what looks like one of those thin plastic bed/chair things, and a short young woman is fussing around it, pulling a long strip of paper towels or something over it. There's a man with a think black beard at the sink, fiddling around with something. He turns when I enter and I can see his teeth smiling under his beard.
"Seth, is it? We won't be a minute. We're just setting everything up. How're you feeling?"
Sick. Very sick. "Okay," I say nervously, and he must pick the hesitancy in my voice because he laughs.
"There's no need to be nervous. We'll get this over and done with as quick as possible. We just need to examine you for any bruising or visible signs of your ordeal, take a few blood tests, and just stuff like that. It'll be nice and easy."
I'm not convinced. But I say nothing, and just co-operate.
"How do you feel now?" Jess asks, guiding the car through the streets back to the city.
How do I feel now? Like I've been in a bloody museum or something. Poked, prodded, pricked, embarrassed and very, very uncomfortable. I never want to go through that again. Ever. It was terrible. I don't even want to think about it.
So I just shrug, because I think if I open my mouth I'll never shut up about it.
"Well you did really, really well," she assures me. "The doctor was very proud of you."
Apparently, everyone is these days. And the strangest part is, I don't feel proud at all. In fact, I feel downright miserable about it all.
"Do you want to grab some lunch or something? McDonald's, Hungry Jacks, KFC, anything you like," she offers, and my stomach is rumbling at the words. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. I know I have to.
"No."
I don't know why the hell I said that, and I silently curse myself for doing it. Jess says nothing however and just hums along to the song on the radio.
"Where are we going?" I recognize the area, it's right in the middle of the city. The busy part. She taps her steering wheel while waiting for the traffic lights to change.
"To our office. I warn you, the rest of the day is going to be really boring."
I say, "That's okay," and nudge the window with my elbow. I don't care if it's boring. At the moment, after all the madness, I really like boring.
Jess was right.
It is going to be boring.
She takes me to a room on the third floor, a little pale, yellow one containing a whiteboard, a table and two chairs. It has two other doors, one leading to the main hall, the other to the room next door.
"Sorry it's so boring," Jess apologises. "It's all I could get on such short notice. Do you want me to grab you some magazines or anything?"
I shake my head. Like I could try to read with this headache. I haven't mentioned anything about it again, and she hasn't asked so I guess she's forgotten. She hesitates and sighs.
"Okay. Well if you want to go to the toilet you have to go through that door," she points at the one to the main hall, "but you can only open it from the inside. So before you go, go back through this door and tell the ladies at the front desk so that they can let you back in, okay?"
Sounds simple enough.
"I have to get back to work, so much crap to do." She giggles. "I'll be back later to pick you up. Are you sure you don't want anything to read?"
"Positive." I sit down on one of the chairs, dropping my bag into the corner. The material is kind of scratchy, but other than that it's comfortable enough. Jess leaves, leaving me alone.
I tap my knees, already bored. I wish the chair could spin.
"Seth?"
Someone shakes my shoulder. I moan and fling my arm over my face. I don't want to get up. Let me go back to sleep.
"Seth you have to wake up." It's Jess, kneeling right in front of me. "It's a quarter past three. Sam is already waiting downstairs."
I open my eyes and the light is right above my head. I blink sharply, give another moan and sit up groggily. Jess stands up and she's smiling, as usual.
"I can't believe you fell asleep on the table." She chuckles, shaking her head. She's holding my bag and I take it, glancing down at the hard wood beneath me, and I can't remember falling asleep here. I remember sitting here, just not the sleeping part.
"How's Sam?" I ask sleepily, standing up and following her out into the hall. People walking past smile brightly at us and Jess returns it.
"She's good. See for yourself." she adds happily as we wait for the elevator. We stand right at the back and lean against the mirrored wall.
"Dad's all... free now, isn't he?" I query, the thought sending a chill down my back even though I know he can't come near us. He doesn't even know where we are.
She seems to read my mind. "Yeah. But you don't have to worry about him. He's not allowed to go near you. And he'll have no idea where you guys are, anyway."
I hesitate and the doors slide open, letting us into the giant office on the first floor. "Where are we going?"
"I'll tell you in the car."
Sam is with Kelly by the entrance, playing with her hair. She looks totally fine, like her day was perfectly normal, which it probably was.
"Your hair's all messy." She points at it but I couldn't care less about my hair. "Are we going now?"
She sounds bored. Ha. She should try staying in a single room all day.
Kelly asks me how I am. I say fine. Still tired, sore, but fine.
"So where are we going?" Sam must have had chewing gum during the day or something because her breath is annoyingly minty. Like toothpaste, except she rarely brushes her teeth.
Kelly's driving while Jess tries to find a decent song on the radio. "We found you a placement for the weekend, with a really nice family near the river. You'll like them, they're very nice. "
I know where the river is. It's a nice area. Nice houses, nice gardens, nice cars. It sounds, well, nice.
"Great." I try to sound happy about it without sounding too nervous. It's always kind of scary going to a total stranger's house, and now, staying with a total stranger for a few days.
We drive along the streets and I look at all the nice houses, slightly envious. It's a fairly new suburb; the houses have all been built in the last three years. There are some people jogging along the river and all of a sudden I want to go for a swim.
"I thought we were supposed to get more stuff from home today," Sam speaks up and I'd totally forgotten about that. We definitely can't live on one change of clothes.
"Yeah, unfortunately we weren't able to do so, obviously," Kelly apologises. "So just for the weekend you'll have to see deal with what you've got, and hopefully by Monday we'll be able to get some more of your things."
Sam's satisfied with that and goes back to twirling her hair around her fingers. The car slows down and eventually stops in front of a two-storey pale green house. There's a huge wooden fence around it, so I can only see a bit of it.
"Okay, here we are." Jess gets out of the car dramatically, throwing her arm in the air. Sam hurries out, almost dropping her bag onto the ground. I get out more slowly and normally, surveying the house. So this is where we're staying for the next few days.
There's a button by the wooden gate and Kelly presses it, squeezing Sam's hand.
"Coming!"
The gate opens and a woman peers at us. She looks to be in her forties and has a nice, tanned face that breaks into a big toothy smile. "Hey, I was wondering when you'd come."
"Sorry if we're late, had to grab 'em from school first." Jess ruffles Sam's hair and the woman steps out onto the driveway, holding the gate behind her.
"So this is them?"
"This is them. This is Samantha and Seth," Kelly introduces us and I manage a wary smile. The woman offers her hand, and I shake it hesitantly.
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Tania."
"Well we have to go." Jess is almost apologetic. "So then we'll see you guys on Monday? If you have any questions or anything Tania, give us a call. We'll probably ring you over the weekend anyway," she adds thoughtfully. "Just to check up."
Tania rocks on her heels enthusiastically. "Not a problem!"
Jess and Kelly go back to the car, waving their goodbyes.
"Have fun," Kelly calls before they drive off. We watch the car until it's nothing but a tiny speck in the distance, and then Tania speaks and brings us back down to earth.
"So, come on in."
We exchange looks and for a tiny little moment, Sam looks unsure. But then she's back to her normal cool self, and follows Tania in. I make sure to close the gate behind us, and look around. The yard is nice. Small, but nice. There're a few trees and a little flower garden beside the veranda.
"We only moved here last year," Tania explains, standing at the bottom of the three steps. "It's a nice little house. We're only renting though. Where'd you guys live?"
"By the beach," Sam answers for me, eager to get inside the house.
"Sounds nice." Tania goes up the steps and onto the veranda, past the table and chairs and through the front door.
We're standing in the living room. There're a set of stairs to the far left and a doorway leading to what looks like the kitchen or dining room or something. There're two dark red lounge chairs, placed at an angle, in front of the TV. And on the two dark red lounge chairs are two not dark red people.
They look about my age and are watching the TV without the slightest bit of interest in us. One's a boy, the other's a girl. They're both wearing the school uniform of a small private school not too far from here.
"And these are my babies." Tania beams. "Hey, you two, tear your eyes away from the TV for half a second."
They both turn in the seat and eye us sceptically. Apart from their hair, they look exactly the same. The guy's hair is really, painfully pale blonde (bordering on bloody peroxide) and falls over his eyes while the girl's hair is long, black and a bit curly. But other than that, they're identical. They both have the same pale skin, the same grey eyes and the same long skinny bodies. And the same bored expressions.
"Tuesday, Shannon, this is Sam and Seth," Tania says almost proudly. They just turn back to the TV, totally uninterested by the whole thing. Tania rolls her eyes and motions for us to follow her into the kitchen.
"Don't mind them," she says quietly. "They get wrapped up in their own little world. Anyway, this is the kitchen. We eat outside," she adds to explain the lack of a dining table. The kitchen is exactly like a normal kitchen. Fridge, sink, benches. Nothing exciting. There's a door leading to the backyard, but I can't be bothered to look at it.
"Now, as for sleeping arrangements." She leans against the bench. "Unfortunately, we don't have a spare room at the moment, because it's so full of junk. I didn't have time to clean it up. So, if it's okay, Seth, you can stay in Tuesday's room and Sam can stay with Shannon. Is that alright?"
"Yeah. It's fine," I say, because I'm too grateful to care where I sleep. "Thanks."
She smiles. "My pleasure. Obviously, the food's in the cupboard and the fridge. We're just having pizza tonight, if that's alright. End of the week y'know. Too tired to cook."
"I love pizza." Sam licks her lips hungrily and her face is so funny I almost want to laugh.
"Well that's great then. I guess you want to put your bags in your room. Come on." We go back to the lounge room and the girl, Shannon I'm guessing, is filing her nails.
"Hey do you two wanna show the guys around upstairs, show them their room and stuff?"
They both ignore her.
She scowls and claps her hands once, sharply, and they glance at her. "Come on," she warns. With an exaggerated sigh, they both stand up.
"Hang on a sec." Shannon goes into the kitchen and Tuesday (I'm assuming it's Tuesday) rolls his eyes.
"Come on then," he mutters sulkily, starting up the stairs without a backward glance. I glance at Sam and slowly follow. The stairs lead to a bunch of doors, five of them. One of them is open, and obviously leads to a bathroom.
He opens the second one, the only one with nothing on the door, and flicks a light switch. I stare around the room, not sure what to expect. It's nice and roomy as far as rooms go, and a complete mess, which somehow, I'm not really surprised by. The walls are painted a weird darkish blue, contrasting with the bright white carpet and ceiling. There are posters, or paintings, or something (I'm not really interesting in looking at them) stuck on the walls, clothes strewn all over the floor and the desk, pushed against one of the walls, is so covered in crap that you can't even see it. There's a single bed opposite the desk, its sheets in a big, tangled heap.
There's one of those little beds on wheels, the ones that fold up, beside the desk.
"You have the bed," he says shortly, and I glance at him properly. The rims of his eyes are much darker than they should be and it takes me a few seconds to realise that it's eyeliner or something... I'm no good with stuff like that. I've never taken much interest in it. Never had to. It contrasts starkly with his skin and hair, making his eyes look really sharp and... I don't know. I'm obviously paying way too much attention.
"Uh, thanks. How come you..." I sort of motion toward my eyes and he gets the idea.
"Because it makes me look pretty. And also because I look like a fucking albino without it. Makes my eyes stand out more."
If he doesn't want to look so pale, maybe he shouldn't dye his hair that colour. And all of a sudden, I'm uncomfortable with this. Sharing a room with him, and such a messy room, but that's got nothing to do with it. It just feels strange.
I gingerly place my bag on the floor and I have no idea what to say. If I'm sharing a room with this guy for the whole weekend, I don't want it to be on unfriendly terms or anything. "So... Tuesday? That's, um, that's an unusual name," I say for lack of better things, rubbing my shoulder.
"I know."
I crack a weak smile, trying to act normal. "Let me guess, you were born on a -"
"Friday," he finishes abruptly.
I blink a few times stupidly. "Oh." God, how lame can I get. He snorts and shakes his head, like he can't believe it either.
"Whatever. The bathroom's down the hall and shit. You should be able to find your way around. It's pretty easy. Unless you want me to draw you a map," he adds as his pale lips twist into something I can only describe as a smirk. I flush because he's talking to me like I'm a baby. Which I'm not. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're about the same age.
"I'll be fine," I mumble, glancing at the bed.
He's still smirking, or whatever the hell it is. "If you say so."
Before I can think of anything else to say, he's left the room and I can hear him going back down the stairs. I stare at the bed a moment longer, thinking how weird this whole situation is, and step back into the hall.
We've only been here for half an hour, and Sam is already acting like she owns the place. She's sprawled out on one of the couches, watching TV like she's been here all her life.
I edge past her into the kitchen, where Tania, Tuesday and Shannon are. Tania is kneeling in front of the fridge, pulling things out at random, Tuesday is sitting on the bench leaning back against the wall and Shannon is finishing off a glass of water.
"Oh hey Seth, did you get nice and settled in?" Tania's voice is muffled from the fridge.
"Yeah. I tried to put my bag under the bed but there was too much stuff."
Tania rocks back on her heels to glare up at Tuesday. "I thought I told you to clean it."
He shrugs and slides off the bench, taking an apple with him. "I did. At least you can see the floor."
"That's better than he did last time," Shannon points out, giving me a rather scrutinizing look before following her brother out. Tania shakes her head with a heavy sigh.
"Sorry about my children. I don't know where I went wrong with them."
I give a small smile. "They're alright. They look pretty... sameish," I finish, unable to think of the word I'm looking for. She laughs and picks up the rotting pumpkin by her feet, closing the fridge with her toe.
"They're twins, despite how much they deny it. If you're wondering which one has the real hair colour, it's neither of them. They're both natural brunettes. If they seem a little rude, don't worry about it. They're just not used to sharing the place."
She places the pumpkin in the sink and pokes it with a fork.
"Are you going to eat that?" I ask worriedly, thinking ew. She nods solemnly.
"It'll be great for pumpkin soup." And then she laughs. "You should've seen your expression. Of course I'm not going to use it. I'll throw it out later." She turns on the tap and washes the top of the pumpkin. "Just to make sure it doesn't stink. So how are you feeling? You must be sick of hearing that."
I shrug. "Okay. I um... yeah. I'm okay."
She turns the tap off and dries her hands on a cloth thrown over the spice rack. "That's good. They told me what happened, when they called to ask if we could have you for the weekend. I'm really sorry about what happened. If you need to talk about it, just to get it off your chest, I'm always ready to listen. And if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too. It's entirely up to you."'
"Sure," I mumble and right now, I don't want to talk about it. Maybe later. When I'm more normal. She smiles and throws the cloth back over the spice rack.
"'It's only 4:30 or so. We'll eat about 5:30; get it over and done with nice and early."
I nod and by now I'm really starting to get hungry. But I can wait. It's not like I can argue about it anyway. I go back into the lounge room because I have nothing else to do. Tuesday and Shannon are both on one couch and Sam is still hogging the other one. I move her feet a bit and sit down rigidly.
The plan was to eat at 5:30. But things never work out the way we want them to and so it's almost 6:30 before the pizza even gets here. I've spent the whole time watching TV, pretending to be interested in it when really I was barely focused on it. Some dumb reality show.
"Pizza's here!" Tania calls as the doorbell goes off. "About time too!"
Shannon jumps up from her seat and rushes out to get it.
"Great, we'll be waiting all night." Tuesday's face twists into a scowl. "By the time she finishes flirting with the moron, we'll have starved to death."
"Don't be a drama queen, Tuesday," Tania warns, but she walks outside anyway trying to make it seem like she was planning to do it all along when she obviously wasn't. Less than thirty seconds later, Tania and Shannon are back on the veranda, Tania holding a stack of pizza boxes above her head. I count three.
"We're going to eat out here," she calls into the lounge room, beckoning Tuesday, Sam and I to join them outside. Tuesday mumbles something I can't catch but obediently goes outside.
Shannon's seated, staring at the open pizza box almost suspiciously. "Does pizza have carbs?"
"No." Tuesday deadpans, helping himself to a slice. "It doesn't."
I sit next to Sam, who's already half-way through her first slice. I must admit, I am hungry. My stomach is rumbling at the sight of the pizza. I take a small piece because I don't want to eat it all. This is going to sound so stupid, but I feel almost guilty. It's probably just the nerves.
"So how was school?" Tania asks me. "Did you go to school today?"
"Um, no. Not really," I mumble, picking at the cheese. It's hard and greasy. It's never like it is on TV.
"Completely understandable," Tania assures me through a mouthful of pizza. "Are you going to eat more?"
I've just finished off my slice. It did nothing to fill my stomach. But I can't be bothered to eat anymore. It tasted disgusting anyway. Too leathery or something. Of course, I don't have the faintest idea what leather tastes like.
"No thanks."
Sam is on her third piece and Shannon is nibbling on her first piece, after tearing it into bite sized pieces. Tania looks like she wants to make me eat more, but she doesn't.
"Would you like a shower?"
Would I? Yeah. All of a sudden, yeah, a shower sounds really nice. I nod and Sam rolls her eyes, pulling a strand of her hair off her pizza. "About time."
I ignore her remark and Tania folds the first empty box, chewing loudly on the pizza. "Tuesday, can you take Seth upstairs and show him the shower? Just show him where everything is. And make sure you give him a clean towel."
Tuesday, who's still lingering on his first piece, gives a huge exaggerated sigh and stands up, making a hand gesture indicating that I should follow. I wipe my greasy fingers on my pants and oblige.
He's silent until we reach the bathroom where he turns on the light. It's a nice clean room, with a dark blue tiled floor and crisp white walls. There's a bathtub over by one wall and a shower cubicle directly opposite it, right next to the white cupboard.
"Okay, this is a bathroom." He waves his hand around to emphasize his point. "We take baths here. We've also been known to brush our teeth in here. That big white cup looking thing is where we take said baths. The thing across from it is a shower. It has these two cool knob things and if you turn them, water comes out. Be careful not to burn your pretty skin." He points to the white cupboard. "That's where the towels are kept. After you're finished, turn the little knob things until the water stops coming out and then take one of those nice fluffy towels, which you can use to dry yourself. I hope I don't have to tell you how to get dressed too."
"I'm not an idiot," I mutter, embarrassed and irritated at his mocking smirk.
"I never said that," he says simply, backing out of the room. "Have fun. Don't drown."
I lock the door when he's gone and lean against the door, wiping my forehead. I can see my reflection in the mirror and I walk over to it, leaning heavily on the basin.
In the mirror is a face I wouldn't recognize as my own, if I didn't see it every day. I know that sounds weird, but what I mean is that I don't look how I used to. My skin is gaunt and pasty; there are purple circles under my eyes. My dark brown hair sticks out at odd angles, probably full of knots because I've never really put any effort into combing it properly. I eye the yellowing bruise stretched over my left cheekbone, prodding it gently. It doesn't really hurt anymore, thank god.
I undress, leaving my clothes in a little pile near the basin. In the shower cubicle thing, the floor is cold and wet from the last time it was used. I turn on the taps, making sure the cold one is first.
The water kind of stings at first and I sit down on the floor, bending my legs and resting my chin on my knees. The water's kind of echoing around the glass cubicle. I bite my knee gently, the water running into my mouth. It tastes gross and kind of burns my tongue.
Everything is so uncertain. I'm so uncertain.
I don't want to think about it right now.
I lean back against the cold glass wall, turning my face up into the gush of water and opening my mouth to let the water in.