Hello people. This is a bit different than what I usually write, but here it is. I'm going to dedicate it to my girlfriend, Steff. She gave me the idea. Steff, when you read this, you'll remember what triggered it.

I can remember the exact time of day it was when I got the news from Cairbre's older brother. It was 1:26 in the afternoon. I had been sitting up since I had gotten off the phone at 6:00 that morning.

My beautiful Cairbre had collapsed that morning. He had gotten out of bed and began getting ready for school and simply collapsed on his way down the stairs. Here lately he'd been short of breath, and couldn't walk long distances without wheezing and leaning on me for support. I told him to go to a doctor, but he refused. He was afraid of doctors, afraid of the news they could tell him. Would tell him.

Let me start at the beginning. My name is Liam, and Cairbre is my lover. We met in the eighth grade, and hit it off immediately. He was new to the school, and I was a bit of a loner. With my too long hair, and my pale eyes, I'd been targeted as a faggot from the first moment I'd set foot in the school earlier that year. At the time, I had thought nothing of it. With my family moving every few years, I didn't care anymore. Even if I had made friends, I'd have to leave them soon anyhow. That had happened before, and it hurt, so I decided not to bother anymore.

I heard of Cairbre through my guidance counselor. She told me that she had a new student who needed showing around, and I wasn't very social, so she figured it was an easy way for me to make a friend.

I wasn't counting on much. But when he came up to me, I fell in love with his delicate features, and his lopsided smile. I could tell he was nervous, and I didn't blame him. The school we had was just a tuition and a uniform away from being a private school.

"I'll show you to your locker, follow me." I muttered, starting off down the hall. After showing him to his locker, and his classes, we figured out that we had the same lunch, art class, and math together.

"Uhm...Do you mind, if I eat lunch with you?" He asked tentatively.

"I'll give it to you plainly. Everyone here thinks I'm a fag, and if you get caught hanging out with me, you'll catch the disease." I said, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"Oh...Well..." He leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek, "There. Now they'll have something to talk about." He giggled.

I think I fell in love with him then, and we were friends long before we really decided that we wanted a relationship. There was a lot of flirting between us, but it just strengthened the friendship.

Not long after we'd been going out for a little over a year, the pain in his chest began. Finally, I told him he just had to have his brother take him to the doctor. His brother lived with him, and was his legal guardian. We were both 15, and his brother was 20.

As soon as the phone rang, I felt a twinge of dread run up my spine, but I picked it up anyhow.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Liam, I have some bad news." I hear the tears in Sam's voice, even if I couldn't see them.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked, knowing it was Cairbre.

"Cancer. If he'd have gone sooner, he's have had a chance. But as it is... He's not going to be able to fight it. There are tumors all over his lungs, and it's spread throughought his body." Sam began to sob over the phone, and I? felt tears running down my face in reply.

"How is he right now?" I asked, and I heard a clatter and then his beautifull, sad voice.

"I'm fine," He murmured.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, knowing he'd been in a lot of pain lately.

"From the neck down, the right side of my body is paralyzed. They're giving me a wheelchair and Sam's going to bring me to your house after we leave here." He said, and I noticed he spoke a little slower than usual.

They got here a little after three, and I began to cry again as I saw him in that wheelchair. He shook his head at me, and I helped him out of the chair onto my couch.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. Don't make this any worse."He murmured, wiping away my tears with his good hand.

"How bad does it hurt? Tell me the truth." I said.

"Bad... I can barely breathe. The fall down the steps bruised a lot, that's what paralyzed me." He muttered, and layed his head on my shoulder.

Sam sighed softly, and leaned down, placing a kiss on Cairbre's forehead," I'm going to go home, and give you some time alone, alright?"

"Alright, bro. I love you." Cairbre said as San walked toward the door.

"I love you, too, babyboy. You too, Liam." He replied.

"Ditto, Sam."

We sat in silence for a long while, then Cairbre turned to me, "Liam, I'm going to ask you to do something for me. Something you may not be able to do."

"Go ahead, baby."

"If I asked you. Right now. To get your father's gun, and put me out of my pain. Would you do it?" He asked quietly, and I knew that's what he was asking.

"Cair, what about Sam?" Besides Cairbre, Sam was the only person in the world that I cared for. My parents didn't care about me, and they let me know it every day.

"You know he knew. You could hear it in his voice as well as I could." He said back, and I knew it was true.

I reached under the couch and pulled out the lockbox, opening it with a key danging under the couch. I pulled out the loaded pistol, and carressed it lovingly.

He leaned over and placed a loving kiss on my lips, I sighed softly and removed the safety from the gun.

"Are you sure?" I asked, tears rolling down my face.

"If you love me, let me go. Or keep me here in pain." Cairbre murmured.

I placed the pistol's barrel right over Cairbre's heart, and leaned him back against the couch, one hand on his thigh.

"I love you, Liam." Cairbre said, closing his eyes.

"Love you, too, sweetheart." I pulled the trigger and watched as Cairbre tensed, then went lax. He'd died immediately. I heard the bullet go through the couch and shatter something in the next room.

As I sit here writing this, I remember two things. When we first met each other, we'd had a project in our Culture's class about ancient gods. Cairbre said he was a god in another life, and therefore immortal. We kept the joke going for a long time. And after Cairbre had gotten into a fight and had to stay home for weeks, I told him he'd have to get better, he was immortal.

A few song lyrics pop into my head at this memory. "Oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying." By My Chemical Romance.

The last memory I have is of our promise to each other. If one of us dies, the other must follow. We're connected in mind, body, and soul. We've survived a lot in the last year or two. All of it we survived together.

So this will be my last sentence, and I'll see you on the other side.


Sorry I never post anything anymore. My computer is still down. Hope you enjoy this.