Flower among the Rocks

IceAngelDarkMoon

The first time she went to her cliff was the night her parents' fighting woke her from her dreams. Her comforting illusion of happiness was shattered by yelling, screaming, and crying. She waited for it to stop, crying alone, hiding under her comforter. The noises didn't stop though; they continued to grow, no longer just voices but things being thrown about, shattering against walls. She tired covering her ears, but the sounds of her perfect world crumpling around her refused to be blocked out. Her small voice calling out to them from her fortress went unheard; too much anger to be concerned with the one they were supposed to love beyond all else.

Tears wetting her face she pushed back her comforter and ran. Though her haze she found the door, went out, and ran wherever her feet took her. The wind cut through her thin nightdress, the ground cut at her bare feet. She pushed on not even feeling those slight discomforts; the hailstorm of shouting wouldn't leave her head. Over and over again she heard them fighting as if she hadn't moved. Over and over again the world she knew crumbled. Trees scratched at her during her escape, marking her for all to see. Crimson blood and briny tears fell in her wake. Then she stopped, too tired to go on, and too tired to go back. She was there at the top of the cliff, below the waves crashed against the rocks.

The rocks shot out of the water like fangs from the sea. The roar of the water blocked out the other sounds in her head. The screaming and fighting finally stopped. She gazed down in wonder; it was beautiful and dreadful at the same time. She was too young to comprehend it but wise enough to recognize both. She sat as close as she dared to the edge and waited for something or someone; she just wanted to be found.

A flower on the ground tickled her hand while the wind blew. Unconsciously she pulled it from the ground, a beautiful wildflower with colors vibrant and alive. She brought it to her nose to drink the sweet scent; the satin petals caressed her face. She didn't feel so alone in that moment. She spun it between her fingers watching the petals dance and fade into each other. Then unable to resist her wrist flicked and her fingers released, the vibrant wildflower tumbled away from her, her eyes following the bright color as it fell. It crashed against the rocks, where it was picked up by the water and mercilessly beaten on more rocks, until she could no longer see its brilliant colors in the swirl of the sea. One thought stayed in her mind, "What would it be like to fall?"

She grew up with many more encounters like that. She ran to that spot often, never more than a day apart from her cliff. Each time she brought an offering; flowers, pebbles, anything she could throw. All of these things were bright and beautiful, until they hit those rocks. Each time she went near the ledge she had an almost irresistible urge. Her thoughts would become consumed by what she would look like if it were herself that fell down among the rocks? What would she sound like when she hit? What would it feel like to be pierced by those fang like rocks? It was a horrible fascination that she couldn't stop.

She was a delicate girl and a just as delicate young lady. She was a fragile beauty, pale of complexion with vibrant eyes. Ebony black hair and equally dark eyelashes further set her apart from others her age. She seemed forever on the outskirts of everything, never a part of any of the activities that consumed her peers. She had a quiet withdrawn personality that only increased that barrier between herself and everyone else.

Then one day it happened, he asked her out. A boy, he was one of the more popular ones, but sensitive and passionate in his own right. It was love in it purest form, and she didn't need her cliff anymore. The cliff was no longer part of her routine; she had something better then it to occupy her thoughts. She was happier than she ever remembered being. But it was not to last, and she found herself back at her cliff, her last resort. The blinding pain and fear drove her back to the only solace she knew, now that he was gone.

It was cold, her breath misted into a cloud around her head as she breathed. The wind bit at her turning her pale cheeks a dazzling pink; cheeks further cooled by the drying of her tears. She was dressed in one of her best dresses, hair perfect, everything about her perfect. She sat at the edge like she had always done, but this time she brought no sacrifice to the cliff; the flowers were all frozen and she hadn't scooped any pebble. Sitting at the top she gazed out to sea, seeming to come to a decision, or just reflecting on something. She had the faraway look to her eyes and an expression of torment on her face. She was in anguish; her life would never be how it was before. Heaving a great sigh she pulled herself up to her feet. Something in her expression was different, the pain was gone. A faint smile tugged at her lips and she let it come forward. Her choice was made.

The girl looked around the place, memorizing it, emblazoning it in her memory forever. She turned her head to the sky and closed her eyes as if communicating to something in the heavens. The smile on her lips grew to a full fledge smile. Her eyes opened and her feet begin running. Her muscles tense for a brief moment then she is air born. She was floating, flying and falling all at once. She was finally going to answer all the questions that had plagued her for so long. She closed her eyes to anticipate the landing, when something grabbed her. Her flight stopped midway through and she was no longer falling. Her eyes flashed open to see what had stopped her perfect end.

There at the top of the cliff leaning over to grab hold of her hand was the boy. His golden hair shining in the weak winter light, brightening the bleak day, she recognized him immediately. His eyes conveyed all the emotions he was feeling in that moment: fear, love, helplessness, and an overwhelming sadness. The girl was shocked for a moment then realized he had stopped her and began tugging to set herself free from his grasp.

"Please don't do this," the boy begged in a quite voice. It wavered with his suppressed emotions. "I'm so sorry, I never meant for this to happen."

"Very few people ever intend for anything to happen," the girl murmured not able to meet his gaze any more, the emotions were too much. Her voice was devoid of the feelings she should have been feeling, all she felt was a hollowness that she hadn't felt since she met him.

"This is not the answer, please don't hurt yourself because of me, it's not worth it." He tried to reach his other hand down to get a better hold of the girl but she saw his hand coming and twisted away.

"How dare you try to tell me what to do? What do you know about how I feel?" Her voice shook with her barely controlled rage. It had all been so simple to her just a few moments before, now he was trying to confuse her. She didn't want to be stopped.

"I never said I did; please just let me pull you up this once."

"No, I finally understand what I need to do for once in my life. I have the chance to be perfect like a flower."

"But you've always been perfect in my eyes, can't you see that your worthy of so much more?" His voice cracked, he stopped trying to hide his emotions.

"I'm not worthy of anything," the girl scoffed, giving another tug at her hand. "My parents won't even notice I'm gone. No one will miss me at school. Do you have any idea what it's like to have everyone either ignore you or assume you're a certain type of person? Do you have any idea what it's like to feel so completely lost?" Her voice became barely above a whisper as she continues. "I finally felt like I'd been found when I met you. I was so happy, why couldn't it last? I have nothing left here for me."

"There is so much out there for you if you will only try for it. If I could find you, so could someone else." He was begging now, his grip was beginning to fade; it was so hard to hold on like this.

"No there will not be anyone else; I know I won't be able to open up like that ever again. Please just let me end it now," the tears that had been threatening her since before she arrived at the cliff finally broke free silently streaming down her face. "Please, for me, just let go."

"Do you know what you're asking me to do?" He was crying as well now. The tears slowly dripped down his face and then dripped onto the girl, but she made no indication she even noticed.

"Yes, and I know you love me like I love you. It's because of that love that I beg you to let me go, and let me finally be perfect." She turned her face so she could look him in the eye. Their eyes carried on a secret conversation for several minutes.

"I love you so much, I'm so sorry I wasn't strong enough to prevent this." The boy whispered in a broken voice his tears increasing their flow.

"I love you, too. I'm so sorry I couldn't be stronger." She whispered and tugged her hand free. She saw him still reaching as if to grab her again, but this time he would not stop her. She closed her eyes and let her smile back onto her face. She was finally at peace when she hit the rocks.

The next morning when the police found her, many wept at the sheer beauty she created. The cold weather had frozen her as she had been the night before. Her beauty only enhanced by the weather. Her skin was a faint blue and her eyelashes sparkling in the light. Her face was not that of one who died in pain but peaceful and content.

"The poor girl, she must not have been able to cope," one policeman stated as gazed at her lifeless body, "Her boyfriend was hit by a car the day before as they walked home from the winter dance." He didn't notice the two figures that walked away from the cliff, their whole beings projecting the love they shared. Their bodies shimmered and glowed as they slowly walked away hand in hand, never once looking back at the cliff.

For anyone wondering why this is so different from my normal style, this was for a competition. I was chosen to represent my school, so this and a slightly edited version of 'Waltz through the barriers' (renamed 'Silence, Sorrow, and the World After Tomorrow') I actually got an honorable mention. I'm already working on my pieces for this coming year, I'd like to at least be a semi-finalist, but I know there is a lot of competition. Anyway the idea for this came from listening to a Bjork song. It's about throwing things off a mountain so she can be happy in her life. I kind of adapted it! So it's weird but I feel it has a purpose!

Ice Angel