A/N - I was bored in college one day so I decided to write a humerous story out of bordem and thought it deserved publishing on the net because I'm not normally this funny, I'm finishing college now so I dont think I'll ever be this bored again, so dont expect a sequal... but then again there is always university.
There one was a man called Phill. Who started to do a child care course at Hull College. One day the evil careers advisor came into the college and tried to make him listen to her babble on about where he could be 2 years from now, it was horrifying to say the least. This careers advisor kept asking questions, which was annoying, very annoying. But these questions were not any ordinary questions, they were far from personal and not quite academic, I guess you call them 'persodemic' questions… does any body know what I'm talking about?
There is only one thing worse that questions being asked face to face and that is questions being read on a handed out sheet of paper. The class was given the evil documents of child safety and forced to answer the questions situated at the bottom of the sheet after a great big long essay that we were forced to read. Well that was it for me sat here listening was one thing but actively taking part on the lecture was another, so I decided to rummage through my pencil case, see what I could find, well eventually I managed to rummage out enough pens and pencils and foreign components to build my very own time machine.
When no one was looking I turned on my time machine made out of pens pencils and strange foreign components and I was sent flying forward in time, I was curious to see what my future holds. Well considering this time machine was only built out of pens pencils and strange foreign components it wasn't very powerful and it only managed to send me forward 5 minutes in time. I looked around and I realised I was still in the same room and that same boring careers advisor was there, I was also there, sat in my chair, then I realised that if I didn't go back forward in time then I would be obliterated from time itself, I was stuck in a loop.
I was about to reconfigure the settings on the time machine when a little green alien type person who called him self moony popped out of no where and snatched the time machine then vanished into thin air, now I was in the shit. Now I had a quest on my hands, a quest to get back my time machine, a quest to get back my time machine and get home, a quest to get back my time machine and get home and live, a quest to get back my time machine and get home and live and watch the season finale of Smallville, a quest to get back my time machine and get home and live and watch the season finale of Smallville in 5 minutes, after a while I realised that I had been thinking for so long about what I had to that I only had 5 seconds to complete my quest to get back my time machine and get home and live and watch the season finale of Smallville, it was impossible , now I had to think of my last words, "what could my last words be?.."
Now I am nothing but a grave in the plane of time and on my grave stone it reads;
Phill, 1986 – 2003 – "what could my last words be?.."