Chapter 5: Fall

It was almost a week before Tom called the Crawfords. Not having heard from Jenna in that long made him worry that she, or Daniel, or someone must have pulled a fast one on him. Jenna didn't know anything about it, so he figured it must be Daniel. He enlightened her on what he knew of the situation, and they arranged to meet after an hour of looking for Daniel. He had never disappeared like this before; perhaps something had happened to him.

Tom found him in a ditch, face up, rather muddy, counting under his breath. Tom grabbed him and yanked him up.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Daniel blinked, thought about that, and blinked again. Tom was ready to hit him. "Where have you been?"

Daniel gestured to the forest behind him and eight lanes of traffic. "Around."

"Around where? Do you think you can just –"

"Are you my mother?"

"No I am not your mother. Do you think you can –"

"Are you my fucking father? What hold do you have on me?" Daniel drew himself up, as straight as he could. "There's no reason you should –"

"You can't just –"

"- care where I am or what I'm doing. I can look after myself."

"Prove it, then."

"I have not lived with you," Daniel said, slowly, pronouncing his words with careful deliberation, "or anyone else, for six days. I have no money. I have no means of providing myself with food, or shelter, or so-called clean clothing; and I am still alive."

"What have you been living on?"

"Nothing." Daniel sliced the air with his hand.

"What was it? Do you have your medication?"

"I'm perfectly all right, Thomas, and in no need of these chemical devices for stabilizing my –"

"You aren't all right. Do you have it?"

"I am all right, and yes, I do."

"Have you been using it?"

"No, I have not."

"I think you should."

"I think you should stay in your own business and keep yourself out of mine."

"Mom has been worried sick."

"That's a lie."

"It isn't."

"You're a lousy liar, that's a lie."

"Well, she would have been if we'd known."

"If you can't keep track of me at all times you might as well give up on it. Halfway is never any good."

"It's better than nothing. How long would you have lain in that ditch?"

"Until I had finished counting the constellations, or fallen asleep."

"Have you never heard of counting sheep?"

"I tried that. I fell asleep, and then I dreamed of a sheep that was upside down, with its head cut off and set on top. I tried to get it out of its evil pastel cloak and it put out its hooves and they were gone, his little legs were bleeding."

Tom couldn't quite look at him, but he tried. "You need help."

"It was only because I wanted a demon to come and eat me. I asked for it and it came. That is the power of prayer."

"I don't think this is any time to lecture me on the power of prayer, Daniel, let's get you home and straightened out."

"Which one?"

"You're a lucky boy to have the choice. Which one do you want? There's any number of people ready to take you in."

"I don't want them. I can manage just fine without them."

"You obviously can't."

"I obviously can. You know how good I am at theivery?"

"Stealing isn't good enough. You need to be able to support yourself before you get put out on your own."

"Oh, for Christ's sake. I've been put out on my own for fucking sixteen years, you don't have to tell me what I need."

"You need to come back, to a home, and take your medication until you're balanced enough to function in society."

"I –"

"You need," Tom went on, raising his voice, "to come to school, to get a degree, to find a job, and to lead a normal life."

"I don't –"

"Jenna is looking for you. We're going to meet her."

"You go right on ahead, I'm not done counting the constellations."

"Fuck you," said Tom.

"Jenna doesn't like cursing." Daniel stretched out on the ground in the squelching mud, looking as though he might have smiled.

"I'll stop. Come with me."

Daniel could see that Tom was going to try pleading now, which Daniel never approved of. He closed his eyes.

"You're going to have to come eventually. You can't keep acting like this."

"What is 'this'?"

"It's childishness is what it is," Tom burst out. "You're acting like a selfish brat."

"I didn't ask you to come looking for me."

"Can't you just function in society like a –"

"Fuck you," Daniel said; Jenna had no hold over his tongue.

"Normal person?"

"What about a normal person?"

"Can't you function like one?"

"No. I need help, remember?"

Tom went to meet Jenna, to let her know that Daniel was alive and fully occupied. He would meet them at the train station on the second of September. It was a Friday.

By Thursday Daniel was ready to go. He had prepared himself mentally, and made the arrangements if not physically, at least over the phone. Everything was packed at the Crawfords, in fact had never been unpacked; Jenna would bring it along.

Friday morning dawned later than Daniel would have liked – being accustomed to rising with the sun, he found some difficulty in reaching the train before it left. It was blowing its whistle when he arrived, his hair sticking up at odd ends from his shower at the local pool, clothing rather rumpled. He had thought ahead, much to his surprise, and brought a fresh set in order to make a good impression on his fellow students. His entire year depended on the cleanliness of his wardrobe that first day, he thought. If he smelled funny they would shun him, and he wouldn't be able to party properly.

Tom was not alone in his compartment, of course, but he was waiting. Jenna was with him, sitting quietly either to prove that she could be, or, to give her credit, because she didn't know anyone. As soon as Daniel came in she got up and came over.

"Hi. I don't know anyone. Do you want to go do something?"

Several girls glared at her back, so Daniel winked good naturedly and took her around the waist. Tom managed to find a break in his conversation and called out, "Kerensky, sit down. Long time no see."

The little blonde beside him leaned over to whisper in his ear, not taking her eyes off Daniel, swinging her hair back and fluffing it out. Jenna was tugging at Daniel's hand, hating the whole scene, but Daniel couldn't see a way out of it. Finally he smirked doubtfully and said, "Ha, hilarious. Nice to know you're still alive after –" He glanced toward his wrist, which had never had a watch but was frequently consulted just the same, "several hours. Catch y'all later." He turned to go.

"No, Danny, stay," the blonde said, jumping up. Daniel cast her a sour look, shaking her off his arm.

"I don't think so," he said shortly. "Let's go, Jen."

Jenna was doubtful. "Daniel – that's pretty –"

"Let's go, Jen," he said again, and pulled her out the door. Jenna stopped him in the hall.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That poor girl –"

"I think she can take it," Daniel snapped.

"I don't like her, but –"

"Don't worry about her then." Daniel rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Jenna, I'm tired. I'm a bad person."

Jenna kept her eyes on the floor, and when she looked up it wasn't at him. "Did you not get any sleep? Where have you been? We still haven't talked about that."

"Let's not," he said. "Where shall we go?"

He smiled down at her, and took her hand, and let himself forget.

Jenna was on her back, hanging across the seat and down its rough side. Daniel sprawled on the floor, his shoulders and fingers catching at her hair. They were talking in low voices, so as not to carry out of the room. Tom came in and sat down.

"What was the rush getting out of there?"

"I hate that kind of people," Jenna said. "You should know that."

"My friends?"

"Daniel's your friend. I like him."

"I know you do," he said, lowering himself next to Daniel, so that her head was resting on him. She shifted until she was comfortable, and said,

"I find them sort of…"

"Shallow?" Daniel offered. Tom glared at him.

"Kind of, yeah. They're all…"

"Self-involved?"

"Will you stop?" Tom pushed Daniel away. "You don't know them."

"Sure I do," Daniel said, as Jenna started with,

"I realize that you like them, Tom, I just don't think I could ever –"

"Ever," Daniel said.

"- Like them. You know, on a regular basis. They're okay once in awhile, but when I'm around them I feel like I can't be myself without them hating me, but I don't want to be anyone else, certainly not them, and then you get into the whole deal of them being, well, like Daniel said, preoccupied with how they look and all –"

"You care how you look, don't you?"

"Sure, but not, like, to the hair-fluffing point. Are you getting me at all?" She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows. Daniel grabbed her foot as she started to lift it.

"Don't boot me," he said.

"I wasn't going to." She covered her mouth to keep from giggling as he tugged at her sock and slid his fingers against her insole. Tom didn't notice.

"Are you going to give them a chance?"

"No," she said. "I tried that. It was weird. They hate me."

"They do not."

"They do. I'm with you, and everybody wants…" She snorted with laughter and kicked at Daniel. "To, you know, date you and hang around you and stuff, so that just adds to what already was."

"Why did they have any reason to hate you before?"

"It's a long story."

"Tell me." He shifted his body to face her, his back to Daniel, who got up and sat under Jenna's feet. He turned slightly, keeping out of it and instead focussing on massaging her. Jenna rested her head on her arms and smiled at Tom.

"I don't want to get into that today. It's gorgeous out, see," she said, gesturing at the window, "and today is the end of summer. That's no fun."

"So tell me a fun story. You're good at that."

"At telling stories?"

"Tell him the one about the princess, Jen," Daniel said. She shot a dirty look in his direction.

"I don't think so."

"Format this one like that."

"Nobody died."

"Please?"

"No. Stop being stupid. Okay, Tom, you can't pass this on."

"I won't."

"I don't care if you do, but it's been a well-kept secret for so long we might as well keep up the trend. Once upon a time –"

"Oh, good," Daniel said. He was being obnoxious on purpose.

"August two years ago," she went on, "everyone wanted me to have a party. At my house. Now, you know my parents."

"Sort of. Do they not like parties?"

"Not since that one when Aiden –"

"Who?"

"Her brother. He asked a friend of his, and the friend got plastered and came out of the closet, of all places, buck naked, and started doing some sort of shumka dance in the middle of –"

"Let me tell the story, Dan," Jenna said. "Suffice to say they don't like our parties."

"I liked my story better."

"Shut up, Daniel. So. Lot's of pressure, had to have it, parents said no. Which, I mean, come on, you lure them out of the house and throw it anyway, right?"

"Wrong," Daniel said.

"It doesn't work on them. At all. So I made up this whole long contraption – it was a contraption, wasn't it."

"It was a contraption," Daniel agreed. "Of magnificent proportions."

"Something to do with my brother having his bar mitzvah, huge deal, it was going to last the whole summer."

"But then…"

"I factored out Alicia."

"Terrible name."

"Terrible girl."

"I went out with her, she was nice," Tom said.

"I'm telling the story. Alicia knows my brother."

"Aiden again, there's only one."

"That's unimportant, Daniel."

"Tom doesn't know you don't have a thirteen-year-old brother. Tom doesn't know what a bar mitzvah is, though, maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Alicia told everyone about it, and I was ruined."

"I think I heard about that," Tom said. "It really wasn't that big a deal."

"They'd never warm to me again. They know what a liar I am."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"She doesn't want them to warm to her, Tom, she thinks they're fascist, self-centered, ignorant, and cliquey."

"I hate cliquey," Jenna said.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Tom said.

"Tom!"

"That's classified as swearing. He's trying to quit, Jenna, give him a break. There are worse habits."

"That doesn't justify the lesser ones."

"Do you see this girl, Tom? She's smart. She's good-looking. You can't do better. Why do you want them anyway?"

"Her being the best doesn't justify dropping everyone else."

"He's quick," Daniel said.

"I am the best, aren't I?"

"See, why is that not self-centered? You're assuming that they're faulted in ways you aren't, which isn't true, and you're being horribly fascist yourself."

Daniel left. This wasn't proper discomfort, this was two people who considered him one of their - if not the only - best friends. They would drag him in.

Jenna sat up. "I don't know why you need to pressure me into this, I don't like them. That should be enough."

"It's not! You've got to give them a chance."

"Why?"

"Because they're my friends! We're in a relationship, we need to make sacrifices."

"I don't see you sacrificing anything."

"I'm not going to give up my life for you."

"I'm not going to make a new one for you. I like mine fine, thank you."

"Come on, Jen, don't do this."

"Don't Jen me."

"Daniel does it."

"Daniel is my friend."

Tom was taken aback. "And I'm not?"

"I don't know you!"

"We've been living on the same campus for four years."

"That means nothing."

"We've been dating for over a month!"

"Oh, a month," she said, picking at a hangnail. "That is so long, Greenwood, I can barely remember life before your tender –"

"Fuck it," he said, standing.

"Don't swear."

"If I'm going to sacrifice my language you're going to have to put a little effort into this."

"You want to do that. I have no interest in making sacrifices. There shouldn't be any need for them."

"Please, Jenna, try talking to them –"

"I have. It's extremely dull."

"Try, please."

She let out a gusty sigh and stood up, twisting her mouth. "Fine. I'll talk."

"Thank you." He tried to put his arms around her; she moved toward the door.

"No guarantees I'll listen."

Tom took it for a joke. He didn't feel that any other choice was prudent.

Kenneth Singh was on the train. I know he was, not that that would make any difference in my life. Never had I heard him speak; never had one blissful phrase passed his lips, not in my presence, or at least not loud enough for me to hear. It was like a hole in my chest that needed desperately to be filled. After all, his voice could be nothing less than perfect.

Kenneth Singh is perfect. Physically, I mean, I know nothing about his personality. I do, however, know his history in its entirety. Tom told me about it. It was a subject that we were both interested in, he because Kenneth Singh is his friend, and a sort of adopted son to Tom's dad, Daniel not being sufficient; me because Kenneth Singh is perfect.

He comes from Korea, I think. He lived with Tom, for a short time, and worked, or maybe works, with Tom's dad. His parents live in Korea. He paid for his sister to come across – twin sister, I think, her name is Brandy and I like her, she's a sweetheart. I know her a tiny bit, I've seen her around, not being able to help it as she is stunning, of course, sharing genes with someone like that how could she be anything but?

I have also shared his jeans. He doesn't realize this. I borrowed them from his locker when I was with Tom the first time. There's a thing. Kenneth Singh is on the lacrosse team. Tom's a little bit exclusive about that sort of thing, or else really good at getting his friends on. That's possible, he's got a lot of pull.

The deal was that Kenneth Singh was on the train. I was eager to see him, needless to say. I couldn't exactly pose it as a question, Tom might have been jealous, so instead I said, very subtly of course, "Kenneth Singh is on the train."

Tom sent me a look. I thought about what I had just said, and tried again. "Kenn – " There was the problem. I needed to call him Ken, not Kenneth Singh.

Okay. "Have you seen him?"

"No."

"Have you talked to him, I mean, since last year?"

"Sure, once or twice. He's been busy."

"Oh. Well, say hi to Brandy if she's with him. For me, I mean."

"Why don't you say it yourself?"

"What?" Talk to them? I couldn't. I had, once, when we were working together. She is very sweet. Unbearably so. That and her mind-numbing beauty? I couldn't handle it.

"We can find them, if you want."

"No, that's – I was going to – you know, find Da –"

"Jenna," Tom said. "You saw Daniel ten minutes ago. I'm sure he's busy with his friends right now, he doesn't want you to find him. Why don't you come with me, and I'll introduce you to my friends?"

Tom was friends with Kenneth Singh. It was like he was some sort of I don't know what. Super-person. Batman. No, that would be bad. Then he'd have to fight with Daniel for Catwoman, not that Batman would ever admit he has a thing for her.

But he does.

"Are you there?"

Tom was looking at me. I blinked, smiled, and waved at some girl Tom was talking to. Tom grabbed my hand before I could wave too effectively. "Jenna, this is Alicia."

"Your ex," I said. Wrong words. And it was bringing up the whole deal with Aiden.

"How's your brother?" she said, very sweetly. Oh, I could wring her neck. Instead I kept smiling.

"Great."

"Moving on," Tom said, pulling me past her. I scowled.

"She hates me."

"She does not."

"Did you see how nice she was being?"

"Were you being nice because you hate her?"

"I didn't think I was being very nice."

"Were you trying to offend her? Come on, Jen. This is Nancy."

"Poor girl," I said, when we were past.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Her name is Nancy."

"So?"

"I don't know. I had a little friend Nancy. Long time back. I think it affected her head."

"I think your head is affected."

"Her clothes didn't fit either."

"Your friend?"

"No, yours."

"What was wrong with them?"

"They were too tight."

"Look at you!"

"What about me?"

"Your clothes fit you fine."

"Why are we looking at me, then?"

"Are you fighting, girls?"

Daniel was in front of us. He had the blonde hanging off him, the one he'd been rude to before. I didn't know why she'd let him do that, and I don't know why he would anyway. It was very upsetting.

"We're not fighting," I said.

"This is Pansy." Tom was continuing introducing me. He thought he was being polite, I guess, but as far as I could see he was pretty much killing any chance I had with these people.

Fortunately I didn't want one. "Hi, Pansy," I said. She didn't respond, she was too busy fixing Daniel's hair.

"What're you doing later, Danny?" she asked, in this whispery little voice.

"Nothing much. Why, what are you doing later?"

He was licking her ear and I knew he was supposed to be meeting up with Brandy. He likes Brandy too, on a slightly less superficial level; they work together all the time. Every time he works is with her, actually. I felt sick.

"I don't know, what are you doing?"

"I think I might be going for a walk."

"Where are you going to walk?"

"Maybe down by the trees."

"Which trees were you going to walk by?"

"The forest trees."

"That's funny, I was going to walk by the forest trees too."

"When were you going to walk by the forest trees?"

"Hum. Maybe eleven?"

"Darn, I don't think I'll see you then. I was going to walk by the trees tomorrow."

"I said later."

"I know. Tomorrow is later."

She detached herself from him. She was glaring. "I guess I might have to run into someone else by the forest trees, then."

"That would be nice. It's no good walking alone so late."

She breathed heavily for a second, and then restrained herself and said, "What time are you going to be walking by the forest trees tomorrow?"

When Daniel was done booking himself up for the week he joined Tom, and Jenna, in their compartment. They were beside Cindy, Carson and Stephanie. They were across from Ken and Brandy. Ken was adjusting the brakes on Brandy's wheelchair, and Jenna was watching him obsessively. Daniel sat down next to her and said into her ear,

"You're watching him obsessively. Tom's going to notice."

She jerked her head away, thought for a moment, then fixed her stare on Daniel. "What were you doing with that girl?"

"What girl?"

"The one with the forest."

"Oh. Pansy."

"Yes. Oh. Pansy."

"You sound angry."

"I am angry. Daniel, that isn't fair. That poor girl –"

"Don't give me that. Everyone is a poor girl. Why don't you let me –"

"Did you take your meds."

Daniel stood up. "Between you and Tom –"

"You've got to –"

"Don't give me that!"

I stopped talking. So did everyone else. Daniel walked out, and Tom turned to me. "What'd you say?"

"Nothing."

"What," he said, through gritted teeth, "did you say."

"I asked him if he took his meds." She tried to speak so no one else could hear, and almost managed it. Kenneth was still interested, which surprised her since he always talked so quietly she thought he must be partly deaf. She didn't know how much Kenneth knew, and jerked her head in his direction. Tom didn't get it. Daniel would have. She controlled herself and said, "Did you hear me?"

"Yes. I told you this morning he hadn't."

"You'd think that since then –"

"Nothing's changed, has it?"

"Apparently not. But he's here, he needs to –"

Tom squeezed her knee for quiet. She swallowed. "I'm worried about him."

"You're always worried."

"Rightly so. He's –"

"Carson, can I talk to you?"

Carson was on the lacrosse team. That was all they ever talked about. Jenna left.

I met Daniel when I was six months old, or so I hear. We fought a lot, this also realized second hand, until last year. The year before that we weren't in any classes and weren't making any effort at outside communication, and I guess we did one of those things that you hear about, you know, where you learn tennis in the winter? But without an indoor court or anything. Metaphorically.

Whatever. We go way back. I love him to pieces most of the time. I have no idea how to help him, though, he's like this lost soul and it breaks my heart. I told him that once, and he laughed until he choked. So on that train ride, the eleventh ride to school, I tracked down Mandy and told her all this. She knows a bit about Daniel, having dated him for longer than most, and still gets along with him after that, or well enough. I don't like her very much, but I tell her things. She listens very thoroughly.

Mandy was concerned. "I knew he'd got some kind of depressive tendency thing," she said.

"Of course, everyone does."

"But bad?"

"Yes." I sniffed. I knew nothing about it, but it sure seemed bad to me.

"And he doesn't take his medication."

"Not very regularly. It's bad for him."

"You don't have to cry over it, you know. He's doing okay."

"What do you know about that?"

She looked hurt. "Well, I don't, but he seems to be doing okay."

I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"That's all right."

"No, it's not. I'm mean. But he was being awful this morning, to this girl Pansy –"

Mandy made a face. "Good for him."

"That's not the point! My Daniel was being awful to someone. Awful!"

"He can be like that."

"Why?" I was really crying by then. The whole thing seemed so ridiculous. If he would just take the bloody pills he'd be fine.

"Because I don't know, that's Danny."

"It isn't! I know it isn't, I know him! He lives with me, for God's sake! Do you think I don't know him?"

"He does?"

Now she gets involved. Gossip. I was disgusted.

"Yes. Never mind, I've got to go find Tom."

"Tom?"

She probably didn't know. She thought I hated him. She thought she had a chance. Best to break it right away.

"We're going out. Don't ask me why, it's a weird thing."

"You're what?"

"Daniel wanted me to. It's a weird thing."

"You hate him!"

I tried to smile. "Yeah. I do. That's not the point though, is it."

"What is the point?" She was getting icy, no surprises there.

"Daniel wanted me to. I have to go."

She was upset too. I was a spreader of bad tidings. Sometimes I hated my life, that being one of them. The times, I mean.

Kenneth was leaning over to listen to Brandy. He nodded, picked her up to put her back in the wheelchair. They left. Tom turned to Jenna.

"Where were you?"

"I wanted to talk to Mandy."

"Yeah? How's she?"

"Not too good. She knows we're 'going out'."

"I wish you wouldn't say that like it was in quotations."

"It is in quotations. Don't you care about her?"

"I went out with her once, Jen. It's not a big deal."

"She's not a big deal, you mean."

"Sure, whatever." He leaned toward the window. "Did you find Daniel?"

"I wasn't looking for him."

"Go get him, will you? We need to talk."

"What about?"

"Carson's got this idea for the –"

"Never mind," she said.

Daniel was on his knees with the back door of the car open. Jenna grabbed him by the shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Finding…" He stopped. "Hm."

"What are you doing? Are you going to kill yourself? Don't kill yourself."

"Why would I kill myself?"

"I don't know. What are you doing?"

"Finding my…"

"Your what?"

"I don't know." He sat down, and she slid to the ground across from him. She pulled her legs up so he could stretch his out. "I lost it."

"What?"

"My mind."

"You're driving me crazy."

"This crazy scene – gonna make a lot of money…" He trailed off, humming to himself and drumming his fingers on the floor to the wrong time. "Gonna… make a crazy scene… Hm."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, we love this scene." He laughed. "I mean song. We love it, remember? Shoppers Drug Mart, open 24/7, it was playing, we were singing? Don't you remember?"

"Sure I remember. Why are you singing?"

"You said crazy."

"You're driving me there."

"I don't think it's a place."

"In your head it is."

"Not in mine, in yours."

"It's a place in your head." She was getting angry. "What is wrong with you? I'm worried, can't you stop being such a freak?"

"The freaks are out we're in force tonight –"

"Stop singing!"

"Devil's by my side –"

"At least do it in order."

"…Cold in there, hm… warm outside."

They sat in silence for a moment. Daniel shifted position. "Hard when you realize –"

"Stop, please."

"Fine."

"You're a child."

"That's what Tom told me."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Meeting Brandy."

"Tomorrow?"

"Pansy."

"Sunday."

"Practice."

"All day?"

"Yep."

"Monday?"

"Tom, we're planning strategies."

"I don't count Tom, you're always with him."

"Tom and the team, then."

"Team Tom."

"You can come."

"No, thanks."

"Sure?"

"Very. What about Tuesday?"

"Mandy."

"What's she so worked up over Tom for?"

"She heard, yeah, this is since then."

"Gods."

"Yeah."

"Wednesday?"

"Pansy again. She doesn't know yet."

"Thursday?"

"Stephanie. You met her today."

"We were best friends in grade four."

"Aha. And Michelle."

"I don't know her."

"She's on Thursday too. And Brandy is my Friday girl. Get that homework done before the weekend."

"What are you doing on Saturday?"

"I don't know yet."

"Practice for Sunday?"

"We should do something."

"We're in bio together."

"True."

"And art?"

"And French."

"Hou lá lá." Jenna wiggled her eyebrows. Daniel leaned forward, resting his arms across her thighs.

"What are you doing on Saturday?"

"I couldn't tell you."

"You couldn't or you wouldn't?"

"I could, but it would be lying. I don't know."

"What if we do something."

"Like what?"

"Like… something without Tom, maybe," he said, thinking.

"No sports involved."

"Or accessorizing."

"Or doing anything too stupid."

"I'd better find someone else, then."

She twisted her face up. "Very funny. No other girls."

"No other guys, and nothing too cold."

"But nothing too warm."

"How come?"

"We won't be able to find it. I can't think of anything else to narrow it down. We'll have to just pick."

"No work."

"Defined by who?"

"Me."

"What is work?"

"Work is anything time-consuming and unpleasant."

"So what is play?"

"Anything fun."

"Can it consume time?"

"That sounds carniverous. It munches."

"Chomps, speedy quick. What is unpleasant?"

"Sitting still for too long."

"How long is too long?"

"When I start to twitch."

She looked at the floor, and his hands. "You're not twitching."

"Yet. This isn't work."

"What else is unpleasant?"

"School without Brandy."

"Okay, no school."

"Reading without you."

"Okay. No help. Go on."

"Being awake if I'm tired."

"Will you be tired?"

"If there's anything going on after Brandy on Friday."

"We could sleep, then."

"Companionably only."

"Of course."

"All right."

"All right."

"All right."

Three weeks later the bell was ringing to let them out of the last class on Friday. Daniel passed Jenna in the hall and turned back to walk with her.

"Who were you with?"

"Pansy."

"Again?"

"Alack."

"Doesn't she mind that you just left?"

"I didn't 'just' leave. I left with pizzazz."

"Uh-huh." Jenna tightened her hold on an armful of books. "Where are you heading?"

"I don't know. Where are you heading?"

"The library."

"It looks like I'm heading to the library."

"Mm. I'm meeting Tom."

"Again?"

"He's teaching me math."

"Again?"

"I haven't learned anything yet."

"Well, neither have I. We're in luck."

The walked in silence until they reached the library doors. They were wide and made of something like oak, with frosted glass panels. Jenna pressed the side of her head against one and looked up at Daniel. "You don't have to come."

"I want to."

"Are you tired?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You look tired. Are you hungry?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No. I want you to come. But I want you to want to."

"I told you I want to."

"All right, then." She pushed the door open and stepped inside. Tom was waiting at a table near the back of the room, his books open, head bent over them. She came up behind him and curled her fingers over his neck. "Hi."

He glanced up. "Hey. Ready?"

"Do you mind if Daniel sits in?"

"Not at all. What have you done today?"

"Nothing. I didn't understand what the teacher was talking about."

"I meant generally."

"Oh. I talked to Brandy."

"You're getting along with her."

"She's nice."

"True. Any words of wisdom?"

"Not from her. She just wanted to know if I was working with her tonight."

"Daniel always does." Tom said this as thought it was news, as though that would stop her.

"I know. I go along sometimes."

"Is it exclusive?"

Jenna frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Can I come?"

"If – if you want. I don't know, I –" She looked to Daniel. "I don't know."

"Sure," Daniel said. "If you're going to work."

"This from you to me."

Daniel grinned. "With love."

"Daniel," Jenna said, "if you start singing I will –"

"Jesus, Jenna, you were happy ten seconds ago. Cool it."

"Don't swear," she said, relaxing. He snapped a salute.

"Don't let me stop y'all."

"I wish you wouldn't talk like an American."

"Gods you're picky today! What's wrong with you?"

She shut her mouth tight and turned away. "Help me with my summation notation, Tom."

"Su –"

"Stop! singing."

Daniel slumped into his chair. "Sorry," he whispered. "I'll be good."

Brandy was tired that night. She was stretched on her bed, Ken gone, and she was just as glad. She didn't want to get dragged along to some junior frat party, they only made her mad.

Jenna sat at her feet, flipping through a novel, and Daniel was talking to Tom on the floor. Brandy sent Daniel a look. She had known that if Tom came along it wouldn't stay quiet. Daniel caught on, apologetically, and finished up. Tom went to Jenna. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissed her hair, spoke into her ear. She smiled and closed the book, apparently for him to read the title. He said something else, and she snapped at him. He left a few minutes later.

"What was that?"

Jenna made her fingers into claws and her face into a comic gesture. "He drives me crazy."

"I'm crazy for feeling so –"

"Daniel!"

"My brother! Do you still feel the pain?"

"What did I say about singing?"

"How can I keep from –"

"I said don't. Do it." She turned back to Brandy. "He makes me tense."

"He makes everyone tense," she said with an affectionate pat to Daniel's head.

"No, Tom. Tom makes me tense."

Brandy didn't answer for a moment. Then she said, "How come?"

"I don't know, he keeps asking me questions and all this shit –"

Daniel gasped. "You swore!"

Jenna glared.

"Tom's rubbing off on her. Brandy, this is bad."

"What are you talking about? We've only been going out for two months."

"Hush, Daniel, you don't know anything. What's wrong with asking questions? He cares about you."

"He's obsessed with me is what he is. He's got this fantasy that doesn't exist at all, and he's hooked on it."

"He sounds crazy that way. I like him anyway," Daniel said.

"Don't be silly, Jenna," said Brandy, "he cares about you is all."