Phoenix.

My name is Phoenix. This is my account of my world. You dear are my shoulder. I depend on you as you know from my past entries. Today I sinned. I never understood my actions, but when the need is great, I do strange things. I believe it must be the pain driving me slightly mad every once in a while. Every step I take , I feel as though I'm walking on hot coals, every breathe I draw in it feels like shards of glass are slashing my lungs. Without It, I'm in pure agony. Why does life have to be so cruel to me?

Tonight was my worst. I was just walking when I came across a river. Next to the river was a young man, a very handsome young man. I prayed he'd sleep on as his eyelids fluttered or that he'd see me and run for his life. But as I said, life is cruel to me., for his eyes opened fully and he stared straight at me, neither flinching or running. I watched in half fright and half disbelief as he stood up slowly and walked closer. If I had soul, he would've seen it's entirety, that moment when we just stood, looking at each other.

When I said I'd sinned, I had. I returned that night to me People, but I returned different. I could feel it growing inside me, like some kind of explosion, bringing me to life. I touched my lips and for once I was happy and glad for their dryness. I welcomed the heat and the burning, because I'd found life. I sinned against my People. I sinned against the rules they'd laid down. I'd talked to him, I'd sat with him by the water. I can still feel my heart beating dully in my chest as I thought of him.

Many times I'd heard of this happening, but as always you never think it'll happen to you. Falling in love with a mortal was very bad news. If I'm going to see him again then I'm going to have to be very careful. But even though I have learnt the rules and consequences, I can't wait for our next meeting. But now I have to go feed. I'm going to have to be quick tonight for the sun has almost risen. It's that I shall burn into ashes, it's not good to let the sun's rays hit my face and give some poor widow the chance to remember me.