-Joel Dao-Zi Kh'as
*At The Friends Of Humanity Headquarters*
The Meeting Room was dark, as those kinds of evil-organization-meeting-rooms always seem to be. Suddenly, the lights flickered on.
Cunnigham: Ahh, I see the power is finally fixed.
Attendee 1 *Scratchy Teenager Voice*: Uh, why were we sitting here in the dark again?
Cunnigham: Well, obviously, since the power was out, we wouldn't be able to get out through the door, since it's keycode operated. You wouldn't want to pay for the door out of your allowance, now, would you?
Attendee 1 *STV*: Uh, no sir.
Cunnigham: Ok, now on to our main reason for calling this meeting. What do you have to report?
Attendee 1: Well, sir, I overheard a boy named Joel Hudson saying some suspicious stuff. I think he's either on to something, or he's covering up something. I think we ought to look into it.
Cunnigham: Very good, number one. I'll send in some of our best spies. Now, let's see... I'll send Epsilon and Aldaris.
Attendee 2: Umm... excuse me sir, but you fired them to cut costs.
Cunnigham: Uh, yes, I see. Well, I'll just send in Yota Suzuki and Choji Mizunoikan.
Attendee 3: Sorry sir, but Choji is actually not a Spy, he's our cook. Also, Yota was fired to cut costs.
Cunnigham: WHO'S AVAILABLE THEN?!
Attendee 1: The only ones available are... The George W. Bush Clone and the Al Gore Clone.
Cunnigham: How'd we get THOSE two losers? They aren't even spies!
Attendee 2: We don't know, really. All we know is that we got them off the black market some time in the past, and they came in a set.
Cunnigham: Oh, fine. Bring the 'spies' in here.
*George W. Bush and Al Gore Clones come in*
Al Gore *In a very metallic voice*: Greetings. I am Al Gore. We will do our best to serve the Martian People. However, I am still angry at the fact that *this* idiot has to serve with me. He doesn't even have any war or any kind of training in stealth, etc. All he has experience in thats even close to spying is when he was in the National Guard putting up Anti-Durg Posters.
George W. Bush: I think that I am perfectly qualified to do this mission. . I will use my special 'strategerie' to find out all information about this 'Joel' kid. After all, I balanced the budget didn't I-
AG: That was Bill Clinton, you idiot!
GWB: Oh, yeah. Well, my budget was a good budget. It increased spending for schools, cut Taxes, and-
AG: -Raised the National Debt 2 Trillion Dollars.
GWB: Hey, at least I won the election, Robot. And I don't think you're the most stealthful person in the world, either!
AG: I am offended. You only won the electoral vote, you idiot. *Metallic voice* Activating weapons systems. Laser eyes: Ok. Missle Turrents in arms: Functional. Nuclear self-destruct: Above Average Yield.
GWB: Oh yeah? I'll get the US Army to destroy you!
Cunnigham *VERY ALARMED*: OK OK! STOP IT YOU TWO BEFORE YOU KILL US ALL!
Both AG and GWB: *Disapointed*: Ok...
*At Joel Hudson's House*
"Ahh, finally I get home from school. Nothing more to do today, all I have to do is relax, surf on the omnimatrix, (Future version of internet -Joel) and do nothing.
At this exact moment, an emergency message flashed on the screen:
*Joel Reading* (Note: All typos are intentional, for effect)
"HELP! It's me, your next door neighbor Yardura! I'm being attacked by some guys calling themselsve Ak Goer adn Gworge E Busch! HEKP NE! ! ! !"
Translation: "HELP! IT'S ME, YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR YATSURA! IM BEING ATTACKED BY SOME GUYS CALLING THEMSELVES AL GORE AND GEORGE W BUSH! HELP ME!"
"Hmmm... that would explain the explosions..." Joel then ran as fast as he could over to his next door neighbor's house. His next door neighbor, of course, was one of the few aliens who are reside in this area, because most live in their own communities, which I must say are rather... poor. He was also his friend, of course, and that's how Yatsura knew what Joel's messaging address was.
When Joel arrived at the house, it seemed completely intact. However, when he went inside he made the following remarks:
"Ah hah, I see I arrived just in- WHAT THE HELL?!" Joel was very shocked because Yatsura was completely untouched except for a little cut on his chin. Yatsura still had all of his arms (1 pair of them, normal) and all of his legs (Same number as above). He even still had all of his eyes (of which there were 2). (In fact, an alien's appearance is only different on the inside, except for one thing: They can have eye colors which humans cannot, and the same thing for hair) The house, however, was a different story. No, it wasn't wrecked. It was just covered with election campaigning paraphernalia. The words 'Vote For Bush' and 'Don't blame me, I voted for Gore" were predominant. Bush and Gore, however, were unable to be seen, mainly because they had left.
"Ummm... what happened, exactly Yatsura?" asked Joel.
Yatsura was on the point of tears. "IT WAS HORRIBLE! THE-THEY BROKE IN AND THE OLDER ONE STARTED TELLING ME THAT HE HAD WON THE ELECTION, AND THAT I HAD BETTER BELIEVE HIM, BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME, AND THE OTHER ONE KEPT ACTIVATING HIS WEAPONS SYSTEMS AND SAID SOMETHING ABOUT MAKING ME DO A HAND RECOUNT!"
"...I see. Well, I'll just do a quick backround check on these two. In the meantime, you can come over to my house.
At that time, the police had just gotten there. And of course, they were too late, as they always are in any series almost.
However, from the top of a building, two malevolent figures looked at the scene, and started trying to decide what to do next...
*END OF PART 3*
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Sorry if that left you feeling a bit confused... I hope this part doesn't lower your opinion of me as an author. Comments, etc. Go on the review section of .
-Joel Dao-Zi Kh'as