Part 5 – Closing Arguments

I have been informed that this essay is becoming a bit too long, and to be honest I am beginning to agree. Perhaps by well-intentioned efforts have been stretched to their limits at this point, and therefore can only withstand the continuous scrutiny if I put them to rest.

Apparently it was my own naiveté that led me to believe that something as simple as authoring an essay could bring together millions of people who obviously want nothing more then the opposite. To be honest, that scares me to an extent, however, it was also gross underestimation, on my own part, as to how outnumbered I would be in the long run.

Also, I figured it would only be a matter of time until my arguments became too steadfast and nearly, but not entirely irrefutable that someone, somewhere would have to parody me to break the barrier I have created. Now, I will not say that I was right, or that anyone was wrong, as assigning blame is not the solution, in fact, as I have said countless times before, it is the exact problem.

So kudos, to whomever it was that decided to change their pen name to A Very Disappointing Author in an attempt to mock whatever moralistic efforts I have made. Unfortunately you have done nothing beyond demeaning your writing skills in an attempt to mock mine, and generated what can be considered nothing more then a significant waste of bandwidth. Yet, that may end up being nobody's opinion but my own. If I were you however, I wouldn't pat myself on the back just yet. If you honestly feel that my ending of this essay is somehow related to the creation of your abortion to literature than you are light-years from correct, and if anyone has been dissuaded by this author to believe that I created my account in an attempt to do exactly what I have accused him of, I'm sorry, but you have been grossly misinformed.

Unity, on fiction press, is an unachievable reality, or so I have come to believe. There is a coalition of authors here, who seem to do everything and anything in their power to prevent that common good. Of course, they would love for me to mention each and every one of their names here, because to some extent that little bit of utterly pointless recognition makes them feel important as they sit and stare blankly at the white pages of this website slowly plotting their next feeble-minded verbal attack, however, I will not do them that justice. I will allow them to make themselves known in my reviews as they continuously review and further prove my point.

I have approached this entire piece from a completely neutral standpoint, not once attacking, or attempting to demean another author. I intend to end it that way as well. I will not achieve anything by ranting on and on about which authors I like, which I detest, and which I can call as many expletive-like words as possible. Plus, that would get me nowhere beyond where the authors whom I'd mention would want me to be. They want me to rant, they want anger, and they want revenge. That is what they feed off of, because it is those things that inspire parody works, and flaming reviews. If I start the fire they are more than prepared to fuel it.

I do not appreciate being parodied.

I do not appreciate being mocked.

But to quote Voltaire, "I will defend to the death your right to say it."

Go ahead; parody me. I don't mind, because you are proving my point for me. You may not see it, but that is solely because you choose not to go beyond what you choose to see.

I know that simply by writing this final chapter A Very Disappointing Author has already canceled dinner with his grandmother, getting his oil changed, and his daily "saliva and semen" enema, which is a true pity, knowing how much he must enjoy those, all in order to free up time to continue writing his parody. For this I applaud him, and must say I am flattered, but this is my final contribution on this matter.

I will always be for unity.

Sincerely,

A Very Disappointed Author