For those of you who have already read this I encourage you to reread it since I altered a lot of things and completely took out a scene and replaced it with something else. Also, please ignore my bad German I am, after all, failing that class. (But I did pass it in the long run!)

Because I love you

Chapter 1

Warmth, softness, a vapor, these things the young child felt as a passing by stranger picked him up from perhaps kindness or his own sick thoughts. Did this person know he just turned into an orphan? Or perhaps he had just witnessed the crimes that took place in his house, the man killing his father and mother then burning the house to the ground. More importantly why had he gotten away? Was this the man that had done the deeds and was he going to be used as a pleasure slave, or even killed and have his organs auctioned off on the black market? Yes, any dreams or whimsical thoughts that could be or would be flew through his head as swift as a falcon diving for its prey. Though all thoughts of such vanished when he managed to open his eyes and look upon his "rescuer" and wanted to scream or cry. He could never quiet choose which one.

His "rescuer" had unnatural pale milky white skin and just as unsettling white eyes that glazed over with a lifeless look. A "crack" ran from the corner of his eye down to under his face, another line running from under the middle of his eye to meet with the other main line. His jet-black hair framed his face in the front but went down to his mid back when held in a loose ponytail fashion such as it was now. Dark eyeliner framed those soulless orbs and matching black lipstick also helped to complete the look of death. A very formal looking top hat adorned his head and not even a decorative feather or band graced it. Surprisingly though such a dark figure held the younger in warm and –almost- loving arms. His solid cold gaze told other wise and the person seemed to partake in the crimes and chose to deliver the child to the one who committed the crimes, even though he was going in the opposite direction of the house. Once those black lips parted and the vapor came back to the child, even he, the dead one, seemed able to be chilled on such a night.

The season was neither winter nor fall but rather the early spring days, which always seemed so bitter and cold at first. Making it seem as if no matter what you do you cannot be caught nor hurt. Though the common tragedies of the area spoke other-wise, telling of how such things will still continue even though the world goes on and the weather gets pretty and even. So even then under the basking sun of a glorious summer day a person can be shot just as if it where winter. For nature does not care what is happening for it goes on since human life means nothing to it. This the child now understood, and the reason why the attacker did what he did even under such lovely conditions. Also he thought that perhaps this was the reason why his "rescuer" wore all black and seemed to carry no merriment in his face, because he, like the weather, carried on, no matter what conditions.

Try as he might to stay silent and still he let out a small yelp of pain as he suddenly jerked back, a car roared by honking it's odd version of a roar and leaving it's trail of poison. The elder's heart beat dramatically faster still his face remained monotone. Unlike his rescuer the child had gotten scared and clung to his shirt instinctively seeking the protection they so desperately needed at the moment. More surprising was the fact that the hands held on to him tighter as if reassuring him that he would be all right. Still one could not settle down that easily. So black fabric remained clutched in a tiny hand until they came upon the door of an old run down apartment building, seemingly the place that he would be calling home. This place would provide the protection he needed and currently strove for. To bad for him it wasn't so simple...

A few years the child had grown under the hawk like eyes of his protector. He never went to school since he opted for home schooling, something his guardian also did instead. Rarely did he ever leave the house since that too was dangerous to do unless one held a weapon in one hand and cross in the other while walking and praying down the streets, hoping that God would let them live one more day, one more day to try to make their life a little bit better. They didn't have much in their one bedroom apartment though made enough to get them by. No TV, or computer took up space in their house; instead the most "high tech" thing was probably the microwave, which either rarely used since neither ate much. When they did choose to use the microwave it was mostly for the rare treat of hot coco or warm milk, never did they use it for food. The actual apartment always seemed tiny though extremely clean for what one might think. Usually most of their utilities remained turned off except for the gas and water bills, those two they never let go out. Very rarely was their power on for neither could come up with the money to pay for the monstrous bill the old fashioned generator managed to hack up. Their room held only a bunk bed that they managed to somehow scrape up the money for, and a small chest of drawers that they shared for all their treasured trinkets. If one where to look in the closest they would easily see where most of their money went.

Since appearances were the main thing that kept people away in their "neighborhood" they spent most of their money on darker clothing. Most would call them gothic though they called it necessary. From hats to boots everything kept to a darker theme, even a few tubs of extra black make-up and such hid in the closest. After all who would want to hurt someone that looked like they hurt themselves? Only an incredibly crazy person and perhaps even then they would keep their distance for the elder of the two held a very impressive fighting record. Because of such they no only left him but also the younger alone, fearing what would happen if they didn't.

The worn down wood under the useless carpet creaked lightly as the younger of the two walked into the room seeking his guardian. The younger's outfit consisted of nothing more than a pair of loose black slacks, a black turtle neck tank top, and an odd "jacket" that went past his hands though it couldn't close in the front and was meant to hang off of his shoulders, while wondering around the apartment. A heavy silver-cross hung loosely off of his neck on a very frail looking silver chain. Any person who looked upon him would think he had just turned10 from so much malnourishment when in reality he had just turned 13. The fact that he looked so young was probably what drew people to him and made his protector watch him closer. He too took on the "gothic" look as heavily applied eyeliner graced his forest green eyes along with mascara. His lips where coated a deep burgundy then coated over with some lip-gloss that smelled of freshly picked strawberries. Unlike his protector he didn't like coating his face in white every morning since he still hadn't broken the habit of constantly touching his face, it remained a habit he desperately tried to break though failing miserably. His copper colored hair flipped out in layers with small blonde streaks running through it, something he figured out how to do just the other day. When he stepped into the room the other looked at him from his place on the bottom bunk of the beds, finally his voice strong, like liquid, poured out, "What is it Faust?" although his tone seemed careless Faust could easily tell the other was concerned since he rarely went to him unless it was of dire need.

Not wanting to respond he looked down at his cold feet, a faint blush covering his face though it seemed to be dull and not noticeable, because he didn't coat his face in white but he still did put a good amount of foundation on to hide his true skin. He looked to his feet a bit longer shaking a bit not wanting to bother the other with such a selfish request so brushed off of what he had planned to say and merely shook his head as if to say "nothing". Of course the other wasn't fooled so easily by such a small gesture and put the book down he was reading and went to him. Kneeling down in front of him he asked softly once more, "What's wrong?" he knew something had to be wrong or else the young boy would be still reading up on his studies.

Faust glanced up at him through his black eye lashes and copper bangs; he couldn't bring himself to speak. Quickly looking back down once he saw those snowy eyes he had met so long ago, he then opened his mouth to speak though no sound would come out. As if on cue his stomach growled lightly, the rosy ting coming back to his face. The other knew he hadn't eaten since the other day and it was starting to get to him, after all no living thing would just let themselves die of hunger, not when they knew they could get food. So he merely stood and handed Faust his other trench coat and boots from out of the closest, pulling his out soon after. They dressed in silence the other going over to Faust to help him buckle up, lace up, and zip up his boots; something he himself even had trouble with. The leather creaked lightly as he stood and started towards the door, stopping at it to look back at Faust who looked as if he had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "You know it's okay to eat Faust," his voice betrayed none of the pain he felt inside for making the child feel as if he was not allowed to nurture his basic needs.

A cracking voice simply replied softly and almost timidly with a hint of feminism in is, "I know Jack..." the words where spoken though not felt in the least; instead, they seemed to be the exact opposite as if wanted to break down and cry.

He shook softly in his place, a thing no longer in his own control but rather a natural reaction of his body when he went out. Soon the shaking stopped when Jack placed a firm hand on his frail frame, trying once more to reassure him silently. Faust took his hand timidly in his own, once more seeking that protection he craved everyday, then glanced up at Jack seeing that familiar scar grace his face.

The soft clinking of chains could be heard as the two walked, their hands parting once they came into their "neighborhood", still that did not quell the whispers that soon passed. Few had seen Faust since he rarely left the house so when he did go out the rumors flew. Some spoke of how Jack owned him as a pet, others of how he had become a love slave the elder had bought off the black market. Still they trudged on in the springs luke-warm weather and the suns somewhat happy beaming. Raging barks from pit bulls and boxers alike surround them as they passed and even the cats seemed to hiss at them. Save for the one that Faust called Zombie, he never hissed; rather, he would run up to them purring enjoying being picked up and loved on by Faust. Then as fast as it appeared it would disappear into what it seemingly resided in.

Jack held a small smile upon his face at seeing Faust smile -even lightly- made a big difference compared to his usual depressed demeanor. Though the smile tried to remain a secret from the one who caused it. Rather it liked to disappear as fast as the frail cat does and Faust look up at his face; although, the cat was had vanished a small tinge of happiness would remain in Faust's eyes as he looked up to the one he adored. Over come by the things around him the happiness disappeared as soon as he saw the suffering around him, something he wished to end but knew he couldn't. So the two trudged on, Jack keeping an ever so watchful eye on Faust and Faust blissfully unaware of the hawk like gaze upon him.

As they went nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen, the painful scream of abuse, the agonizing sound of an animal being hit, and the gagging smell of the drugs and waste where all in order as it seemed it to find fit. Things are not always as they appear and such rules seemed to always apply when they felt the need to do so. Unfortunately for two boys just trying to scrape by such fortune seemed to favor them above all others. Sweeping down in her bat like grace she took the two boys in the form of a group of men. Where they went no one cared nor knew sadly all that was known was that Zombie had been seen outside sitting, waiting to be loved on, a second time by his only friend. Still it was the way things where in the area they lived, it was eat or be eaten there, not live or let live. So everyone else kept to their own rhythm of life and simply ignored the two missing boys.

A blinding light. A stream of words. Such things where the only thing that the younger of the two only heard. No visible image came to him, and no clear words spoke to him. Instead he just saw and heard as if he were a baby once more and nothing made since, especially why he was there. Blinking and clearing his mind and his senses he realized he could taste fresh cold water... Perhaps a service of the people who took them? Also he noticed how hunger no longer pained him and silently he thanked those who did such a feat. Yes, even though he was taken with out permission he could already tell this place was better than his home. Soon his eyes and ears came back to him as he realized what lay before him. Taken by surprise by something he dare not let out a sound as he stared down at it. Not wanting to believe his crystal clear sight he merely closed his eyes softly to see if it were a dream and then reopened them to make sure he was correct. Then he heard the voice that belonged to the stream of words earlier but before he could get a good look at him a strong pain shot through his gut as he once more passed out, looking like the doll he was.

Once more the light shone there though weak and frail. A cool substance was being pressed to his forehead and he could still taste that sweet cool water. Sitting up he glanced around. Was he still there? Or had he gotten away? Apparently he had gotten away as a firm, yet gentle, hand pushed him back down, "You need to rest... you passed out from the heat earlier." the smooth and strong voice belonged to a concerned Jack though he tried to hide it.

Nodding was his only reply for he rarely spoke and such things only tired him. So lying down upon the bed he soon realized by the strong scent of almonds and a splash of forest that he was laying upon Jack's bed. Looking worriedly back up at Jack he seemed to ask with his eyes, "don't you need your bed?" though the reply he got was another cold cloth on his forehead and a bottle of cool spring water pressed to his lips. Try as he might not to, he greedily drank the water and started to feel a bit faint once more. As he lay there his mind wandered and he looked once more up to his protector he smiled softly and fell into another blissful sleep upon which he dream of many good things, like him, Jack, and Zombie all living together in a nice house with no more worries.

As some heat left him it also roused him from his sleep, he gazed up at Jack tiredly rubbing his eyes. A soft pat on the head reassured him that it would be all right and to go back to sleep. Another nodding to the head pat he fell ungracefully back down onto the moth eaten mattress, and he heard the door almost silently click shut.

Sitting up after what seemed like hours of sleep checking the mail was perhaps the only thing he could think of doing, after all Jack wasn't home so he would have to anyways. The danger didn't seem bad as of late, after all the police had been patrolling her area recently, as if looking for something... Quickly getting up and getting dressed he swiftly flew down the steps to the apartments' mailboxes. The heat wasn't so bad since it was late in the day and the sun let off the wondrous colors of twilight. Faust did quicken his pace though since after all everyone who had a reason for being feared came out at twilight. Glancing around him he noticed that a few mixed gangs where coming towards him, this was something he feared happening.

Stopping dead in his tracks he looked down and stayed perfectly still. All he could do was wait for the beating of a lifetime and he knew he had it coming, since all he happened to do consisted of hiding behind the one they did fear they guessed they could at least get the one who would bother him most if they had gotten hurt. A few snide and perverted remarks where tossed among them. They insulted the boy to see if he would break and perhaps run away. They jested about anything they could from how he was nice to Zombie to how he hid behind the mask of silence. Though nothing they did could or would harm the boy. Instead when they noticed that a few leaders seemed to take it the wrong way. The space between him and them seemed to collapse as Faust started to panic in his mind. Still standing perfectly still he merely stared at his feet because at least then he wouldn't have to remember them in his sleep too. A firm hand grabbed around his waist as he was pulled into a rather smelly man who reeked of beer and Mary Jane. Something hard pressed into his back as he closed his eyes and mind. The group had found his weakness when he did such a diminutive and innocent movement. Soon Faust found himself loosing clothing and being touched in places that only Jack had seen. When they reached the button to his pants he started then to struggle and scream, anything to stall them.

He could feel a strong gust of air pass by his head as the man who grabbed him let him go with a yelp of pain. The gut wrenching sound of flesh being broken and pars dropping that shouldn't sounded loudly. Blood was splattered onto everyone and everything, almost like a lovely spring rain. Rash snarls rang out loud and clear with the curses in other languages. Everyone was trying to leave but the animal wouldn't let them, no he hunted them like a wolf would a rabbit. Those who had managed to escape came back to save their friends but no one could truly evade the creature, no it was letting them go, picking it's fights.

He then heard the voice of someone shouting at what ever was attacking the men. The beast stopped dead in its tracks, blood dripping steadily from its muzzle like a leaky faucet. A bloody tongue lolled out of its mouth in a playful manner. "Shinler! Kommt heir!" the dog bounded for the one who called him and knocked Faust down while doing so, his head landing with a sickening crack.

He saw…red. As if it rained it once more just for him. He could smell fresh lilacs lovingly mixed with lavender and vanilla. A faint peach tint seemed to swarm in the middle of all the red and a blackish blot stood down in the corner of his vision. Finally some sound came from the blots it sounded like neither a girl's though nor a man's, "Oh my god…I think I killed him… Shinler… um…" the voice seemed to confused, "nein! Shinler nicht gut! Schlect hounde!"

He could feel his vision fading though he tried to keep it but alas it swam away from him as he feel into sudden warmth, then he didn't see red anymore just black. A black void he started to find comforting in it's own way yet also unnerving. Perhaps this time instead of waking up he would remain like this…yes…perhaps…

Glancing out the window he guessed twilight had just passed. Sitting up out of bed he noticed how he remained still dressed in his usual attire, now he knew that Jack hadn't been home. Checking around the house he saw no one, not even the person who could have been the red thing or the beast. Everything kept as they where, dark and gloomy. Checking a few other odd places he didn't he would actually find his rescuers he looked in the bathroom. Flicking on the light he poked his head into the room and as he turned to leave he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Walking into the room he looked almost girlish looking in the mirror at his face. Soon he seemed angry at his reflection as he realized all his make-up was gone. Once more his face felt as it looked a smooth creamy color with a soft flush. His sweet pout pink lips formed a gentle frown, but most of all he fumed at how ugly he appeared with out his precious make-up on, an image of dullness and hideousness that he could not comprehend. A rather stern voice only helped to add his thoughts, "If you think you're so ugly without your make-up, why did you take it off?"

Jumping a foot Faust turned to face Jack his cheeks turning even redder in embarrassment. No words swept past their lips for a few seconds until Jack broke in again, "Come on I got you some food." he turned to leave Faust to his down devices or to follow and eat.

Following him like a lost puppy he stared at the ground thinking of how right Jack was. He looked like a sight truly to behold with a naked face, and he felt ashamed of showing Jack that side of him. Soon though he felt himself bump into something warm, as he looked up he looked up at Jack a bit questioningly though silently nonetheless, then he realized he forgot to tell him what had happened earlier that day. He seemed almost mad at him though with a cold stare and his lips closed tightly, "Faust..." his voice seemed mad though not at him entirely. Pushing him gently to sit down he kneeled in front of him and almost glared at him, "why did you tell me what happened today?" ice layered his voice as he didn't move, looking almost inhuman.

Feeling lost he merely shook his head from side to side. Though try as he might he trembled lightly under the gaze and tried to keep from crying under the pressure Jack placed upon him with just his eyes. He wasn't given the time to tell him his, mind screamed at him though nothing came out his mouth. Instead he started to shake more and more knowing Jack wanted an explanation for what had happened earlier that day. Opening his mouth to speak his voice cracked as a tear fell down his face. Jack didn't move though instead he stared into his eyes waiting for the younger to speak. "I-I... went to go check the mail and..." he sniffed as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve trying to stop though to no avail, "and...they... they came at me... at first I was fine... but then they started to t-touch me... and I-I'm sorry Jack..." he started to all out bawl at that point as the older cuddled him into his arms.

"Now my precious sobbing baby was it that hard to come out with?" his voice almost held a tone of kindness though to Faust it held enough, "come on lets go wash you since they touched you and defiled you with their dirty fingers."

Effortlessly picking up the still crying boy he took him back to the bathroom. He smiled to himself when he felt Faust wrap his small arms around his neck and sob into his chest. The boy acted so frail and easily manipulated at the moment, just how Jack liked him. Setting him on the toilet he undressed the child himself marveling at the smooth flesh that decorated his body, and it looked like his face a glorious cream color that screamed to be touched or marred. Perhaps that's one reason Jack told him he hated his naked face, so he could keep that image to himself and only himself. When he got his trench coat and long sleeved shirt off of him he gently ran his thumb over one of the soft pink numbs and muttered to himself, "how hideous." Soon after his pants and boxers left him leaving Faust naked to Jack's eye and squirming under the hawk gaze that he was almost used to seeing Jack with while looking upon him like this, inspecting him making sure he didn't try to harm himself. After all the boy used to be notorious of cutting himself, something Jack despised and now forced the child to show him every inch of his body to stop such foolishness.

Turning his head away, his cheeks pink again, when Jack stripped in front of him, because although they where both boys he still held the shyness of a young girl. The elder was naturally a pale color challenging the pureness of even a dove. Tattoos gracing his skin would blemish his perfect complexion and he seemed to notice this easily enough for none graced his beauty white skin. His black hair, silky smooth, only helped to contrast his skin and white eyes. He unlike the other was also at peace with himself and knew of the beauty he possessed. He kept his eyes on himself as he stripped though knowing full well that the child often compared himself to Jack; which only demolished his self-esteem more. Yes some would call him sick and twisted he referred to himself as beautiful in mind and body. He also truly believed that he had to match the child in beauty in order to save his poor broken doll. He turned his back to Faust to turn on the water for the shower but got a surprise when he heard a rather noticeable gasp come from the younger. "What is it may I ask?" he looked to him almost irritated though it remained hidden.

He merely pointed at Jack's back not saying a word. His throat already hurt enough from crying earlier. Instead he pointed at the large white tiger that decorated his back. Perhaps he hadn't wanted to tell Faust about it, or maybe he didn't know it was there. "Faust tell me what it is since I can't see my own back," his voice held a commanding tone, along with those white eyes…

"O-on your back…" his voice cracked slightly though he didn't seem to notice as he kept pointing at Jack's back, "there's writing…" he seemed amazed at the artist's craftsmanship of such a thing though he dare not voice it. Instead he merely sat there in shock staring at it.

The words had been carved in-between Jack's shoulder blades, in a very lucid way. Each letter swooping down and gracefully arching back up in dance of lines that emanated how beautiful pain could be. Together their graceful dance left a phrase that held so true to the other, "I paint my world in Black and White." Each letter accenting how wonderful it was to have that sort of vision, and how the pain could be so blinding. Faust swore it seemed to move along his bad too though he dare not voice what he thought he saw in fear of being put in "time out" for saying untrue things.

Upon hearing the "news" of the words upon his back, Jack froze momentarily, but quickly regained himself as he looked back at Faust. "Yes, I know..." he trailed off, looking at the tile on the floor, as if lost in a memory. Realizing how he looked Jack once more glared at the child, "Though I have told you, do not tell me what I already know." Nothing more was said, just a motion for Faust to get into the tub along with a mono-tone, "in".

Rushing he nearly tripped at getting in and received a soft chuckle from Jack. He knew the other would look him over again for any marks any evidence of the attack that took place that day. One thing kept him from running away out of shyness: the fact Jack acted like his brother and treated him so. Jumping slightly when he felt a warm hand upon his back he knew Jack had found something on him, he prayed it wasn't bad.

The hand reduced to a finger and that to feather soft touches as it outlined something, his own tattoo. Though these words weren't carved into his back, merely placed there with an ink gun. It lay right above Faust's bottom and it was almost perfect for the boy, coy yet innocent in a child like way. The man Jack took him too did his job well, it even proved it's worth for having the knock the child out, so he would cry out as the needle seared his skin. His was merely a paw-print, innocent in nature, dirty to others, with the words 'bow-wow' curving above it. "You know this is quite fitting for you…" Jack's voice was in his ear as he placed a soft affectionate kiss on the soft cheek of Faust.

He quickly finished with his shower then helped the younger that seemed lulled into a deep sleep by the rhythmic cascading waters. Still he couldn't let him fall asleep and grabbing the razor he gently sliced the supple skin of Faust's upper ear, marring the body softly though noticeably. A smirk played his lips when Faust let out a light whimper and stood now wide-awake. Then he licked up the coppery liquid that flowed out his ear and whispered things darkly to the other, pulling him close in the shower waters. The child got abused until he felt as if he could see the gates of Hell but before he slipped into the hellish darkness ten words rang clearly out to him and kept him letting his soul slip forever into that darkness, "you know I only do this -because I love you."

End Chapter 1