Chapter 1: Gag Me or I'll Do It Myself

7:30 A.M.

I think I'll slaughter the jackass who invented those numbers.

They say you can tell a lot about a person by how they are in the morning. You know - some are peppy and can't stop talking. Some are so unbelievably grouchy that you think it's that time of the month. Some are neutral. Some are maniacs.

On most days, I smack the alarm clock into a wall and hope it breaks into a million itty-bitty pieces. I'm not sure what that says about my character, but I can tell you that being so disoriented in the morning does not help my aim at all.

So let's talk about September 1st. This is the day when people reinvent themselves. When "trying too hard" is a phrase that gets it's share of publicity, and girls around the world dress their best, hoping that the boy they've always had a crush on will finally notice them.

But you know, it's all just the same as it was before. As much as everyone wants to believe it, there's nothing special about the first day of school.

Twisting out of the sheets that were wrapped around me like a death choke, I rolled out of bed, splashed some water on my face, and peered into the mirror. A sleepy monster stared back at me, half lidded eyes blinking casually. It had tousled blonde hair, celery eyes, and dry lips with cracks on the verge of bleeding. Scary, I know.

I grimaced at my reflection, and sauntered out of the bathroom to change. After ten minutes or so, I looked presentable enough. Examining myself in the mirror, I guess I would say that I'm pretty. Not pretty enough to be a model or anything like that, but pretty enough to attract someone's attention. This worked well to my advantage, whenever I needed to manipulate people or coax someone into doing my shit.

You know, hypothetically of course. If I ever did stuff like that.

"Allie, we gotta go!"

"Cuhminng!" I shouted, while in the middle of speed-brushing my teeth. Brush, gargle, spit. Brush, gargle, spit. The voice from down the stairs belonged to my longtime friend Carla: the sweetest and most modest girl I've ever met in my life.

"ALLIE!" she demanded for a second time. "Get out of bed!"

"I already am, woman!"

Grabbing my bag, I raced out my room and down the stairs. Carla was standing by the doorway, making a fuss over her frizzy hair.

"You think it looks better up or down? Ugh...if only I weren't born a red-head." She twisted a lock around her finger, heaving a big sigh.

"Do we have to go through this conversation every day?"

Carla, although she might not seem like it at this point, is almost literally an heir of the rich and famous. Her mom practically invented fashion. Or something important, anyway. But then she got the curly, red-head genes from her dad which, according to her, gives her enough reason to complain all the time.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed a piece of toast, and headed towards the door. Right as we left, a voice called "Have fun you two!" from inside the house.

Yea, fun. Could you tell the voice belonged to my mom? Like I said before, today is no different than a repeat of the past years. And even if there were something slightly entertaining, the consequences would greatly outweigh the benefits. Going back to looking at all the ugly bitches that jump out from behind the corner ready to eat you? I'd like to pass.

But speaking of such, the first person I saw on my return to Jefferson High was none other than Serena. Last name: Bitch. The combination actually has a nice ring, which is funny. But Serena herself? I've always held a grudge against her and her stupid ways. Numerous offenses, of course, the main one being that she seduced one of my past boyfriends into becoming her slave. And that just got on my nerves. I don't like when people take things that belong to me.

Also, Serena's annoying voice definitely has to be mentioned. That in itself should be outlawed. I have a perfect analogy for it too, but I think the particular imagery might be too much. It has something to do with a baby animal and a stick up its ass.

"Hi, Allie. Are you ready for Junior year?" Serena swooned with her fake 'Nice to see you, How was your day?' voice.

I gave her a smile that I hoped would cause diarrhea, and said, "Oh hi, Serena! I'm super excited!"

She must've, unfortunately, caught on to my act, since she walked away without another word. Which I found really sad, by the way. I thought that she had missed me over the summer.

"Allie, you really should stop holding such a grudge on poor Serena," Carla told me with a shake of her head. "She's got enough to deal with as it is."

I settled for a scoff, even though I could've laughed right then. "What problems? Finding herself a better plastic surgeon?"

"Well, you know," Carla shrugged, though clearly at a loss for reasons. "Everyone has their own problems."

"Yea, sure. Okay." Although my tone was automatically sarcastic, I knew that Serena didhave problems. Obviously. She's was in high school. Not to mention a bitch. But her problems were really none of my concern.

I glanced at my watch to see the long hand run dangerously close to the top. Time for period one.

"Allie? ...Hey Allie! Where are you going?"

I turned around for a moment - just to let her see my eye-roll. "To class, dummy. Isn't that what we're here for?"

I heard a sigh from behind me as I walked onward - one foot in front of the next. This day marked the beginning of another year, another class, another whore, another enemy.

And I was getting bored of it already.

"And he's totally hot!"

"Duh. Isn't that why we've been raving about him for -"

"-The last ten minutes?!"

"Of course! He's the best thing within five miles of this place."

I've got to hand it to the freshmen this year...they sure know how to spread word fast. We've only gotten halfway through the first day of school and already there's gossip. Since the girls start raving about this guy, the guys start raving about the girls raving about this guy. A vicious chain, no? I tried to think. What kind of person could keep this whole school worked up? ...A transvestite? Probably not, since girls used words like "hot" to describe him(her?). Though yes. Some cross-dressing would be pretty interesting in this sheltered little town. Anything other than that would just be a let down.

"Have you heard?" Carla caught up with me, her red hair now tied up in a bun. "Adam Williams. Apparently the freshman that every girl wants a piece of."

"Gag me or I'll do it myself," I muttered. Was anyone ever going to stop talking about him? Adam Williams...Hah. Even his name sounded so disgustingly perfect. Made me want to hurl.

Putting that aside, I made it to that cafeteria in time for some frozen food. Even though it's supposed to be hot, everyone calls it frozen because if the cafeteria lady doesn't like you, she serves you pieces with flakes of ice left over. The love in this school is everywhere.

I sat down at the table, squished in between Brie and Misa - two of the most popular junior girls at this high school. Actually, I wouldn't say popular with backstabbing being their number one priority. Powerful, maybe. So it's better to be on their side than against them, even though you can never trust what they say.

"Hey Allie, hon. Long time no see," said Misa, giving me her perfected devious smile.

Brie wrapped her arms around me. "We missed you, babe. Haven't seen you for the entire summer. I swear you -"

"Al, have you seen the new freshie?"

"Misa," Brie said between her teeth. "I was still talking. Don't cut me off!"

"Aww, cry. You're a loser. Anyway, Allie...The new fresh-"

"Jesus Christ!" I stood up from my seat, fed up with this. Seriously. Who cared? He was just a freshman. Practically a kid. I caught some people from nearby tables staring at me with questioning eyes. "What are you looking at, you assholes?!" That one always works.

Aggravated, I stalked off to find some place, any place, where his name would not be mentioned. I knew that behind my back, Brie and Misa were both raising their perfectly plucked eyebrows, probably wondering why the hell I was in such a messed-up mood. But at least they had the common sense not to follow me.

I sauntered through the rows and rows of commotion, trying to block out the only subject of conversation: Adam, Adam, Adam. "Gorgeous Adam Williams", "Sensitive Adam Williams", "Like - I am so gonna be Mrs. Adam Williams!"

I walked into the hallway, grimacing at the ringing left over in my ears. If I heard one more more "Adam," I was seriously going to explode.

"Do you wanna hang out later today...Adam?"

I stopped walking. Began wondering how much trouble I'd get into for biting someone's head off. That was, until I saw him. He was casually, but not too casually, leaning against a wall, talking to three sophomore girls.

Oh my! It's The Adam Williams. Quick! Let's find a virgin and sacrifice her at his feet! The one all females seemed to swoon, squeal, and talk incoherently over was within ten feet of me. The one who had the entire school in the palm of his hand in a mere three hours. The one who had single handedly destroyed my day.

But then I really looked at him, and the sight blew every thought out of my mind. Watching him there, standing in the hallway...the light reflecting off his skin, I realized that Adam Williams was actually...


His eyes were too close together, his hair was a mess, his neck seemed way too fat, the nose was too big, and it was all just... not easy on the eyes. So just what was everyone talking about?

But then again...maybe that's appealing to some girls. I mean...bed head, thick neck in an odd...sporty kind of way. I can at least understand the logic behind that. But...I'm not so sure about the nose. I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Suddenly, his gaze turned upwards and we looked at each other in a silent connection. Green eyes, I realized. Like mine. Goosebumps grazed my arms, and I felt as if he'd just come over and touched me. But once I realized this, I was disgusted with myself. There was no way I'd let him manipulate me...damn sucker. Luckily, I recovered with a scoff, the evil eye, and a quick getaway.