15th hour and 43 minutes

I may be going insane. There's a castle made out of … no, I can't say it. I just can't.

15th hour 43 minutes and 3 seconds

Okay, I have to release my immense anguish. The castle is constructed of beets. Beets! I knew this was SO not a good idea. That's it; I am no setting a single toe inside any building made from the most horridific food ever grown! No, no nonononono!

15th hour and 53 minutes

It's really annoying being small. I was dragged inside against my will, and since Princie is now standing against the door while some sketchy little butler henchman goes to "inform" the SOTN that he has "visitors," meaning there's no hope for me. I shall die inside this rotting beet place and be forever mourned for a hostage against the beets.

17th hour and 13 seconds

I'm not dead.

What happened when we actually met the SOTN even surprised moi! So, Princie and I are standing in the humungo entrance hall, but I can't bear to look anywhere because it's all made from yucky beets. Then, he appears.

I thought it was a leprechaun. The sorcerer is even shorter than me! He's a spastic little man, with a frizzy white mustache and these huge, hysterical red glasses that magnify his eyes like a fly's. And, he doesn't eat beets! He only builds with them 'cause he inherited, like, a whole country full of beets from his mother, and he can't STAND them! But his mom's like some big time harvest goddess, which is how he knows the "dragons." So, I'm totally saved from ever having to consume beets. At least that nightmare is over.

So, anyway, he was telling Princie and me all about how he made some kind of odd concoction that makes anything inanimate fly…like rugs. Um, I wanted to ask why he wasted his time on that when he could have just taken the tunnel (as in the Underground) but I wasn't sure about the stability of his beet hatred. Did he hate them so much he'd cut out his tongue and let ants eat it rather than having to ingest beets? If not, he obviously wasn't up to my level of dedication! So I refrained from asking.

Now, I am sitting in my very own room inside the castle of the beets (which I do not have to eat) and writing to you, because, otherwise I will go mad. Princie and the SOTN have actually decided that this quest business has merit. MERIT! That is such a Squire Scouts word. Seriously, what would you think if I came up to you and said, "Oh, by Jove, that plan looks like it's got some merit to me!"

I know what you'd do.

You'd get out the pepper spray.

17th hour and 12 minutes

I wonder if they have after dinner snacks in the North. Like, a late night snack buffet or something.

17th hour and 14 minutes

Maybe there's like a magic kitchen and a genie inside the disposal that will create any kind of dish you want, except for sour cream, vinegar, and onion ice cream- I heard that genies are allergic to that stuff, but I think they just don't want to smell up their little bottle thingies. Oh, yeah, some have lamps. But whatever. Who wants a smelly lamp?

I think I may have to go investigate this. But I can't run into Princie…he was already talking about the whole leaving-the-castle-of-beets-to-find-the-dragons- part of the plan. I don't really dig what he's saying, and I'm definitely not paying…if that paying means that the dragon gets to eat me for dinner. I mean, come on, I am beet free and I'm sure that dragons, if they are real, have the same beet revolving issues that I do. Pa-shaw, Princie. They will probably hide from you cause you smell like beets.


17th hour and 54 minutes

Oh, yeah. I'm lying in a castle build from the dreaded vegetable. WE ALL FREAKING SMELL LIKE BEETS. Just briefly forgot.

Ta ta for now, I've got some food to find.

18th hour and 20 minutes

So I've come to the decision that freaky little gargoyles are never good signs of anything, much less a kitchen.

Yeah, so I had a little run in with some old fart wearing a helmet and waving around a scythe cause he thought that the "Brussels were coming!" Now, while we might be on the same page as far as vegetables are concerned, I don't think a scythe is going to do my hairstyle much good, do you?

Yeah, well we aren't going to have to worry about Scythie for much longer. I put a nice surprise in his helmet when he ran away.

20th hour and 3 seconds

Must sleepenzie. Princie says we're leaving bright and early for the dragons, cause SOTN (who's name is HERMAN-I mean, Herman!) told him exactly where to go or some other such nonsense. However, we are getting breakfast.

Be grateful for the small pleasures.