4The hippopotamus was getting a little too close for comfort. The hair on his neck was beginning to singe. He rolled onto his back and tired to ease himself off the bed.
This was easier thought-of than done, because the hippopotamus had one of its heads on his chest. Slowly… slowly… push… there. He lay, gasping like an overused simile out of context, on the floor. Then…
With a pop, Triaech appeared in the doorway. "Hi."
"Um, hi. Is this yours?" (The hippopotamus).
"No, that's your girlfriend Mandy."
"Oh," said Josh, sounding not at all surprised. "Isn't she feeling well?"
"I would suppose not; beds and hippopotami don't go well together. They tend to get back pain."
"The hippopotami," she added, just to be sure.
"Oh," said Josh. "Would you like to get some coffee?"
"Well, aren't you going to ask why she's a hippopotamus?" Triaech sounded a little exasperated. So would you.
Maybe I don't understand humans after all, she thought. Or maybe this one's just exceptionally dumb. "Are you exceptionally dumb?"
Well, that wasn't really exactly quite the way I wanted to find out, thought Triaech, but maybe it'll work.
"No," said Josh. "I stopped listening to crossover bands when I was fourteen. My test scores just went through the roof—my parents couldn't believe it."
"But don't you care that the woman who's going to love you forever has turned into a fire-breathing three-headed hippopotamus?"
"No," said Josh. "You'll change her back eventually; there's no use for me getting all upset about it. We have all of eternity, after all."
"But what if I don't change her back? What if she stays that way forever?"
"She can't," said Josh. "In an infinite amount of time, all possible things will take place for an infinite amount of time each. So she's got to spend some time as a fire-breathing three-headed hippopotamus. I'm not too worried."
"But… are you CRAZY? YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A FIRE-BREATHING THREE-HEADED HIPPOPOTAMUS!"
"No, I follow the path of Zen," said Josh. "Do you like coffee or not?"