CHAPTER :6: QUESTIONS UPON A WONDERING MIND
Twenty-minutes had past since that conflict moment with...,"you know who",which had an outbreak moment. Everyone had went back to sleep except for wondering minds: myself. I just could'nt sleep at this moment not knowing where Jada was and If she would be coming back to the C. Jada had never gotten so upset about something that she would leave the problem. At this point of time all I could think about what If Jada never came back, who would Instruct us at times of need, who would advise us to do what was right and who would totally curse us out when we did the stupidest thing. Questions just surrounded my head and I had no fucking clue how to answer them If Jada wasn't here. We really needed Jada so bad that It began to feel scary without her voice speaking to us. It was now pitching dark and so frozen quiet upon the C. I started to check on everyone at their sleeping areas, but then I entered Passion's spot and passion was not there. So I went right out near the C towards the Beach and saw her just standing right by the ocean side. The wind was moving so plunging with such a cool temperture rising during this pitching dark of time. I then approached her from behind while we both just viewed the waves of the ocean dashing through. " so...It's pretty cold out here...". I said trying to get passion's attention to speak. Then she turned her face around while her dark blue eyes revealed a tear drop slipping down her hollow face at the moment. " Passion what's wrong, are you okay ? ". I said. Then I thought of course she's not okay, she just got yelled at momemts ago. She then began to speak with a shrivering mood while tears continued to scramble out of her eyes. " I did not mean to get her so upset, I was wrong for what I said, Jada has never did anything bad to me...now she hates me, she was right I'm just a stupid naive bitch with a fuck up attitude, I hate myself...". said Passion,feeling pain with guilt. " that's not true, Jada did not mean It like that, you are not stupid, you just act like you are, but you know you're not. We all have problems deep Inside that we are afraid to let them loose to deal with, but we can survive, passion, Jada loves you, that's why she got so upset, If she wouldn't had got upset then she wouldn't give ah fuck about you, we all care about you, thats's why we worry...you don't have to hate yourself, that will not sovle anything, you just have to Improve yourself and you will make It, okay... ". I said, in a caring way towards passion. We both then hugged eachother and went back Into the C. After I escorted passion back to her area to sleep I then went back out to chill out by the ocean and I then turned around and saw Jada coming back looking guilty about something then she went towards the C and I ranned towards her and pulled her back to me ,so me and her could speak upon eachother before she went back Into the C. " are you fine now, Jada...look I spoke to passion and she Is very sorry for what she said to you, It's okay now, everything Is fine". I said. " No ! I was wrong, I shouldn't had yelled at her like that, even though you hurt me, I still should had been a more mature person, Instead I over reacted ".said Jada. " you were just really upset, no one Is perfect, we all have outbreak moments at times, we need you here at the C, Jada. We love you, I love you...". I said. Then I began to get this weak feeling Inside of me that I could'nt control, like emotions spinning all inside of me so fast, It was like I had crushing feelings toward Jada...No I couldn't, It was just feelings of friendship, I think It was, All I know Is I never had that feeling before. We both then went back to the C , while we both Just went soundless asleep upon the C. As I went to sleep, I felt just so glad knowing that Jada had returned to the C, All thoughs what If questions were then answered, but I knew that those questions could always reappear to me, but for now We had our "INSANE" Jada back at the C, but I had two questions that just haunted my mind of worry : what were those feelings I had when I saw Jada and why and The other question Jada nevered did tell me why she got so upset at Passion. Those were just questions upon my wondering mind.