Seven Plus One

Walking around you know life is crazy and unsure. But still you think to yourself that some things might have made some sort of sense. Some things might have been sure. Now that this has happened to you... You don't know what to do anymore.

You think back to when the relationship was just starting off. You two were happy with each other. Waiting for the first kiss. Wondering who would make the first move. You or him. Everything for once seemed perfect. It was going too fast or too slow, and he even knew that you were going out with him. It was just true perfection. That should been the dead give away that something would go wrong.

Then you're standing there in a crowded hallway. All your friends are around. Even some of his are. But he's not there today. Maybe he's sick, and maybe he just decided not to come today. Who knows...?

You see one of your friends you rarely get to talk to walking down the hallway. He walks past you and you give him a little play shove. He looks around to see who it was. He sees you and smiles. You hold out your arms for a hug, but instead of giving you one, he lays back on you. Grinding his butt into you. You almost lose all feeling in your legs. You're enjoying this to much.

But in the back of you head flickers a single almost most unknown thought. You have a boyfriend... Still you don't say anything. He finally gets off and turns around. Giving you the hug that you asked for to begin with. But it's much more than a hug. He's pressing you tightly against him. Cracking your back and sliding his hands up to your shoulders and down to your ass repeatedly.

When he finally decides to let go. He still holds on to you. Sliding his right hand up the back of your shirt. Once more the thought flickers in the back of you head. This time just a little louder though. You have a boyfriend... But your mind and body overpower your heart and instead of telling him to stop you just let him go. He slides his hand up you back. Past your bra strap, up to your neck. His hands are so warm you think to yourself...

Now you're in the hallway discussing with your friends what happened. They continuously tell you that you weren't cheating on you man. Trying to stow your worries. You figure that their right and shouldn't worry about it any longer.

It was just a little fun between friends. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't like the two of you had kissed or anything like that. So in that you hadn't done anything wrong at all. And if you boyfriend told you he didn't like that, and if he asks you not to do it again. You'll respect his wishes. Just like he would yours.

Now your man is back. He happened to be sick the other day, and had actually come to school to you and his friends. Even though he was still sick. You chastise him lightly, but still think its sweet about what he did.

So you're standing there holding your man's hand. Talking and listening to your friends. You don't hear him come up behind you. So there is no way to stop what happens. He grabs you by the waist and picks you up from up behind. You let out a yelp and turn around quickly. Right into his lips, which are met accidentally by yours.

You forget everything around you now. You even let go of your man's hand. Who is staring at you lip lock with some other guy. The guy puts his arms around you and holds you tightly. Somehow that sends a shock signal up to your brain, and you hear screaming through your head. You have a boyfriend..! You push away quickly. Screaming at him. Saying that you already have a boyfriend. Just as you finish saying it though, you hear you man says quietly... "Not anymore you don't."

You spin around. Looking him in the eyes. He can't be serious. You feel like you're going to go crazy. You reach out to him, but he pushes your hand away, and walks away to his class room. Stopping only to grab his ex and give her a rough kiss. Then looks at you spitefully as he turns the corner and walks away.

"I didn't know." your friend whispers. You turn and look at him, then everyone else around who saw the scene. You can't breathe properly. You push through the crowd into your classroom. Just sitting there wondering to yourself how everything went form heaven to the seventh circle of hell in less than a minute.

You think to yourself that the kiss wasn't even your fault. You don't know what to do anymore. It's just driving you crazy. You wring you hands, trying to think of something to do. Barely hearing your friends trying to talking you.

You can't take it anymore and run out the room, down the steps and into the auditorium. There is no one there and it's dark. You sit in the darkness, crying and alone. You're finally like your poems. Lost and alone. There is no one who can help you now. No one to pick you when you up when you fall. You cry even harder, thinking of the one hymn you heard a long time ago.

It had so much hope in it when you heard it. It was just the time you needed to hear it to. The words so soothing, as they sang:

You fall down, but you get up.

We fall down, but we get up.

All fall down, but they get up.

For a saint is just a sinner who fell down,

And then got up.

It had been so soothing then. Why wasn't it now? Was it, because you'd fallen to many times? They say that you could fall seven times and still get up and are forgiven. Well you'd fallen eight. For you now there was no more forgiveness...