My Father's Rage

Me, my brother and my sister were outside, on the porch thing because we were told that we had to help our mom pick the leaves - so we could eat it for dinner, of course. Then my dad came storming downstairs and in our faces, he yelled, "How could Brix do this?!" He pointed towards the foamy-like string on the door frame.

I turned and in defense, said "We were inside!"

"You can't be inside all the time!"

"We just went in!" I retorted.

Then my mom said something to my dad, and he blew a gasket. He went inside and started yelling things, all the while, my mom trying to speak. When she did, he started hitting her; punching and kicking - full force.

He angrily stomped into the living room. He was cursing the house, cursing (something that I forgot), and then went, "Puta inay mo!" (I don't know how to spell it) which means "Your mom's a whore!"

And then, he paces around the living room, and then me, my brother, my sister enter the dining room (which is connected to the living room), and then we all enter the dining room. My dad is still yelling his head off - at my mom.

I open the refrigerator door, and then I make a grab for the diet coke with lemon, but my dad comes barging in, so I partly close the refrigerator door, and make room for my dad to enter to talk to my mom.

He starts calling her stupid, and then he starts hitting her, he's yelling things that I either forgot or didn't understand (because he was speaking in tagalog). He grabs the bag of grapes, and throws it to the ground in frustration and anger. I sort of understand, my mom told me before that he was having difficulty fixing the house, and with everything going on in his life - that I can't mention - he has this pent-up anger that he just absolutely has to get out of him.

Then he runs upstairs. He comes downstairs, zipping his pants. In tagalog, he's saying, "I'm going to leave this place," and he probably added a few obscenities, but I'm not sure - I can't really recall. It has been about 5 hours or less.

His face is red, his eyes are bulging, and I can just feel the fury and heat that's in his aura. He goes up to my mom, and just keeps on yelling. He grabs her neck, and yells at her face, hitting her, messing her.

I don't want to see my mom dead, or in the hospital. I don't want to see my dad end up in jail. I started to think those things, and did the unthinkable, the unpredictable. "Dad! Dad, stop! Dad!" I yelled in defiance. And, boy. He stopped, but to me, he looked so much more angrier, he ran out of the room, and up the stairs.

I just look at the floor, disheartened, staring at the grapes.

"I'm so embarrassed," my mom admits. "You guys shouldn't be seeing this." Then she repeats, "I'm so embarrassed . . ."

I, for some inexplicable reason, am mad at my mom more than I am at my dad - if she had just let him yell his head off at us, his kids, then she wouldn't have gotten hit or hurt. I am hurt and shocked at what she said - I think we should be seeing this. I mean, normal kids wouldn't think so, but with a mind as twisted as mine was, I think differently.

My dad comes racing down, and he goes close up to me. "You are all stupid!" he yells at me, my brother and sister. He raises his hand, as if to hit me, but then I flinch and he puts it down. "You never help around the house!"

He goes downstairs, and in his car. And stays there. It's 12:06, right now. But I don't know if my dad had left or if he's still in the truck, outside, just parked.

And this all makes me feel sad. I mean, there's a part of me that tells me not to worry about it which is really overwhelming me - this feeling, I mean. And I don't know how to feel.

Author's Note: Thanks for anyone who took their time out to read this. I mean, it really did happen. I just really had to get it off of my chest - to tell someone. I mean, I would tell my best friend, but I . . . I don't know. I just wanted to share my story, and it's ESPECIALLY good if you don't know me. Yet, I don't know why I would trust strangers with my story . . . LOL. Thankies, anyway! Just pray that my parents can work this out - they (sort of) usually do, even if they might hold grudges.

Heehee! Today's the next day (well, technically 2 days since it happened... it is 1:03) and my parents are fine - they always are! It's just that my dad has a prob. controlling his temper.