Idiots of the class of 2003

If I could offer you one shitty tip for the future, being unique would be it. The long term benefits of being yourself have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice is pretty much useless... But I'll tell you anyway.

Enjoy the power and beauty of rock music; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power of rock music until it has all but died out. But trust me, in 20 years you will come across old Britney and NSYNC cd's, realise its all bullshit and wonder why you bought them in the first place... They are far worse than you remember.

Don't live life by "the rules"; or do what is expected of you, because no matter how hard you try, you will always end up disappointing somebody. The things you'll remember when you get old will have no real significance whatsoever. Just random rememberings of what it felt like to drink too much tequila, the conversation you had with THAT guy or girl at 4am, or how it felt when you lost your V-plates.

Go to at least one crappy concert


Don't screw around on your boyfriend or girlfriend. However, feel free if they're doing it to you.


Don't waste your time planning out your entire marriage to that singer/band guy/pretty boy actor. They have no idea who you are, and chances are, you'll never meet anyway. Quit while you're ahead.

Remember the strangers you meet, and smile when you meet them again and again, even if it is only in dreams.

There are two things that you need to learn how to say everyday: thank you and f you.


If at first you don't succeed, try again. If you don't succeed a second time, then quit. There's no sense being an idiot about it. But in stubbornness, you'll find the quality of persistence, there again, that can be good. If not, at least you can say you know when to quit.

Get plenty of weed

Play your stereo loud by all means, but not your headphones. You dont want to go deaf.

Maybe you'll meet your favourite band, maybe you won't, maybe you'll get their picture, maybe you won't, maybe you'll see the last concert before they split, maybe you'll be at their 40 year reunion tour. Never take credit for being beautiful at 17, but if you are beautiful at 60, it will be your own soul's doing. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can... make the opposite sex feel intimidated by it, but remember that too much of it can rot your brain.

Mosh... its the free-est feeling you'll ever get

Never read the instructions. It's funny to play videos at constant hi-speed.

Get to know your friends, and single out the backstabbers

Be nice to your boss. They might reward you with a better paycheck

Friends come into our lives for all sorts of reasons. The ones you always talk to are the best friends you'll ever have. The ones that have since disappeared were there to help you learn a lesson. But its a bitch trying to figure it out

Sleep with them once, leave, and call it an experience... Sleep with them a second time, and if they leave, know its a mistake.


Accept certain inalienable truths, THEY will get married, Britneys' tits will finally succumb to gravity, and no matter what you do, at some point you'll have a job you hate, but when it gets too routine and its nearing five o'clock, you'll remember a time when he or she was still somewhat attainable and remember when Britney was still a virgin.

Don't be the worlds first 91 year old virgin.

Always remember that most of us are talented, it's just not always easy to see. You'll be with the one who CAN see it forever though.

Don't waste your money on expensive beauty products. If you want to pay through the nose to look different, go see a plastic surgeon.

Be careful of loaning your heart out to anyone, but be patient with those who want to borrow it, because the chances are, whoever it is just wants to be around it, touch it, taste it and love it in return.

But trust me on being yourself.